What Happened Today.

I was just going to say what happened today. I went to my podiatrist in Southfield. And when I told him I drove (which BTW I think by now he probably already knows) he reacted with a little surprise. The same with his receptionist. When I asked the receptionist why, she said because most patients there got transportation. I could be wrong. But this could be the beginning of that car threat all over again. I have been threatened with horrible things at least since Oakwood Hospital in Dearborn in 1989. And I want to make clear, losing my car is a horrible, violent threat. It is a clever threat too, because unlike the rest it does seem to be relatively harmless. But life as I know it would be over if I lost my car. I couldn't take care of my most basic needs. How would go to my many doctors, even the closest ones? How could shop and take care of business? How could do things like the laundry now? And, and I don't want to make it even seem I am dignifying this next one by making it seem I am even thinking about it, but waiting for transportation I'd always be late. I know the Detroit police and others started telling me around 2005 that I could just take the bus everywhere. Take the bus? To my doctors in Dearborn? In Plymouth? In Troy and Novi? It was ridiculous, just like it was ridiculous that they'd start saying that around that time. Plus my argument, in addition to all of the above, and all the rest I've said. Said about what makes my situation different and unique. Is that my neighbors were told two horrible and untrue things about me, and we don't know what became of that rumor. I will always be in danger here. My friend across the street seemed to agree with me a while back. Don't even mail a letter in the neighborhood he warned, as if he knew something. And I was led to believe the car threat was over with. At that new mental health clinic a couple of people went out of their way to put emphasis on it when they said I have nothing to worry about that. But like I said, that's how the threat went with my psychiatrist. He'd drop it, he'd bring it up, he'd drop it. And then when I least suspected it he'd bring it up a couple of years later. Destroying my peace of mind, making me fear for the future, fear for what would become of me, fear for my life. And it was so wrong and unjust. Having the elements of unfairness and unequal treatment adding in, as the mental abuse in my life seems to have always had. I am not saying this a new threat. But if it is, it is very troubling. And once again they are back to their old tricks of threatening with something horrible, and then doing it a way that forever robs me of any peace of mind.

I was also going to say briefly the references to transportation, especially by the receptionist, might have been due to the fact most of the patients there are African American. You know that reminded me right away of something I read in 1988. About how poverty is defined in the United States. Do you define it in terms of absolute deprivation or relative deprivation. Absolute deprivation means you don't have even the basic necessities. Food, a home, medical care. And most African Americans don't live in absolute deprivation. However relative deprivation means you don't have the same standard of living that most Americans do. Most Americans have two cars, two smartphones, two televisions sets. Two of the first two because most Americans are two-income households now. They need it. By that definition most African Americans do live in relative deprivation. And some people say, like my therapist did not too long ago, a lot of people get by in Detroit without cars. But that is not fair. And like I said, my case is certainly much different than even the average Detroiter. So maybe my case would be a good opportunity to draw attention to the plight of African Americans and Detroiters. And how they don't have things they need, like cars for basic transportation. Which is only normal, if not some people would say a must, in the United States.

In any event, what just happened today at the foot doctor. I guess I will have to monitor it. I thought I got assurances that abuse was over. But that is the story of my life, if anyone has been following it. The abuse never ends. And when I am promised it is, that is only another even more sadistic form of abuse.

EDIT: You know, I think I actually will make my argument about the plight of people living in Detroit now. African Americans, mentally ill, poor and homeless people, and all the others who live in Detroit. As long as my podiatrist got me to thinking about that today. I was going to make my case about the rights of the handicapped, the rights of people under guardianship, the rights of the mentally ill, equal access to the justice system. And how I am being denied all access to the justice system. I'll have to start submitting this now in all my reports. To Wayne County Probate Court and others. Because like I said, it almost sounds like they are starting that horrible car thing again. And at the worst possible time in my life. When I have lost everything and have no one to turn to for help now.