What I Have To Deal With Now.

And I might as well add. I went to my foot doctor in Southfield Thursday. And I asked a couple of questions, like the ones I talked about. I guess he helped me out some. But I also asked him questions about Eric as my legal guardian and stuff like that. And finally he said, I answered enough questions. And then he left the room. I sometimes wonder if that's appropriate. For doctors, pharmacists and others to be rude like that and even refuse to answer my questions, which are always legitimate medical questions. One time about 20 years ago I asked a lady pharmacist by phone why I read somewhere that the dietary amount of one drink of alcohol is one fluid ounce of liquor. For drinks it's usually at least an ounce and a half, sometimes more. She said my question made absolutely no sense at all to her. I still wonder about that. That does sound like a legitimate question, which my questions always are. I don't ask medical personnel for their cookie recipes or for stock market advice and never have. Another time around then I asked a pharmacist another legitimate question and she got really angry and asked me why I'd ask her the question so suddenly. In other words it was a legitimate question, she just didn't like the way I asked it. I am still confused by all that. If the way I talk is really that unusual and if people should be allowed to treat me that way even if it was. Also around this time I asked a postal worker at the post office in Redford Township in the Redford Trade Center there. It was by phone and I guess I can tell you. It was around 3 AM, which is when the post office was open for business hours. It was still a 24 hour post office then, with a person at the window all day long. So it was open then. (My 2011 therapist once told me the very unusual and discriminatory treatment I get in some businesses is because I go there so late. Late when they are still open as I said. He also clearly seemed to say someone at an office store who treated me with fear and apprehension was doing it on purpose, not because I actually looked like a dangerous person. A random person working in a business. He did. He also clearly said some girl at my HS was doing something on purpose in my senior year. Both of which sound almost impossible, but he did clearly state that.) But anyways I called the Redford 24 hour post office. And I asked the man, who I had a nice conversation earlier, a question. When our probate lawyer sends us mail it has both his postal address and his post office box address. Two totally different addresses and locations. That's in the return address area, and I once sent him a letter that way. And he did receive it. How, I asked him, can you put two clearly separate addresses on an envelope that way. Because, as I explained to him, I have a post office box address. But unlike our probate lawyer it's in a different zip code. And the postal employee gave me this long pause. And then I heard his voice again. He said wait a minute. You didn't call to ask me that postal question. You just called to talk to me, didn't you! And then trying to get my question answered, I told him if he'll just answer it I'll let him go. But he just kept saying no! No! No! I won't play this perverted game and answer your postal question. And that's basically how the conversation ended.

Like I've said many times, with no friends or family I really rely on the professionalism of doctors, lawyers and many others to get important things done in my life. But they usually just ignore my emails, no matter how urgent. Or back around that time, everyone seemed to be doing things like that. (And strangely starting around 1996 people kept ordering me to sit down. At my the funeral parlor where my mother had her wake then, at Detroit public library Redford branch around 2000 a librarian ordered me to sit down, with a lot of anger in her voice. I was just waiting at the desk for another librarian. And when she got back she asked me why I was sitting. I told her that the other librarian ordered me to sit down for some reason. And at Dr. Chang's office I had something important to tell his secretary. Actually a list of things. Legitimate business things, related to medicine as I said. And as I tried to go thru the list his secretary kept interrupting me, and nicely telling me to please sit down. As I explained to her I had to go thru my list first.) Stuff like that as I said. And now I have to deal with people like that and behavior like that when my heath and life may be in danger now. I am supposed to find free legal aid, since I am an indigent and have no funds of my own. Unless Eric wants to pay. A hopeless battle now, probably lasting the rest of my life now that I am old. Hopeless because my case doesn't even exist. And the few times I got a response from places that give free legal aid that is what they told me. That they looked it up, and no such case exists on file. But my case worker says that's what I must do. And like I said, they've already begun the ignoring process.

EDIT: There's also this strange phenomenon that I don't think I'm imagining. Doctors and others who give medical advice give me false or misleading advice. It's never harmed me that I am aware of, and that would be the important thing. But back in the early 90s I told our family doctor Dr. Hiller that I wanted a tetanus vaccine. To avoid getting that disease. But he told me that just never happens. People never get tetanus, or they rarely do. But he's never encountered it in his practice. And plus he wouldn't be able to give it. That is something perhaps I would have to get from the board of health. But he wasn't sure. But later when I talked to my mother about it she agreed that was ridiculous. People most certainly are at risk for tetanus in their daily lives. And it is the kind of vaccine your doctor would be able to give you. I think I eventually got it or a booster for it. Or in any event like I said, I've never had tetanus. But that was false advice. I don't know why my doctors would do it. As far as I know they rarely do. But of course I am not a doctor, so I wouldn't know. But in general it doesn't sound right. And Thursday when I was at my foot doctor, I told him I was using a silver nitrate gel for my wounds on my feet, and getting good results. He said that's good, but I couldn't be using silver nitrate. Silver nitrate is not an antimicrobial. It's only used to cauterize wounds. Well, I just looked at the label now. And it clearly says silver nitrate and that it is an antimicrobial.

As I said, I don't know what that is all about. But doctors have done it in the past. They've actually deliberately done it in a way that it was clear what they were doing. Perhaps my foot doctor knew I'd look it up. It is on the label of the package the gel came in. And it general as I said I think it's wrong and I demand it stop and never happen again.

I also wanted to say that new case manager suggested once that maybe I find all new doctors. He must be joking. In fact I want go on the record as saying it probably is another sick joke. Just like the rest of the sick jokes at that new place. One lady giving an evil laugh when I said I am too old for this. And as might as well say (and perhaps am supposed to) that my new case manager gave an evil laugh or made a sick joke that the fact I am permanently damaged and have neuropathy show that physical harm was ultimately done to me. I was telling him since 1989 I have wondered if physical harm would ever come from whoever I am dealing with. Because up till now it was just threats, though really serious ones sometimes. But no, I can't get all new doctors. I am seeing many doctors. About ten altogether I'd say. They are actually all good doctors with good reputations. And none of them are in trouble with the law or have their licenses suspended. So what reason would I have to drop them? Plus some of them are giving me some very important medicines that I really can't even skip a dose. Like my glaucoma drops and some of my heart medicines. So there's no way I could do that. Especially not even knowing what is going on. But I will be following that, and of course always listening to the advice of the people in my life.

No, there's really no way to escape the government. I found that out in 1989. I thought I was being persecuted by the government then, though I now realize that was never happening. I was thinking of going to the Swiss embassy in Washington DC. Perhaps at least they were neutral I thought. Then oddly like I've told people, I called the Swiss embassy late at night in late 89. And the woman with a French accent on the answering machine sounded very angry and annoyed for some reason. And those two weird things came out around that time. Reminding me of what I was going thru. The song Roam by the B-52s. Roam if you want to, Kate Pierson almost seemed to sarcastically sing in that song then. And then Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega sought asylum in the Vatican embassy in Panama City in December 1989, almost like I was thinking of then and again almost satirically like Quasimodo and the gypsy girl in the novel The Hunchback of Notre-Dame. I also tried going to Canada a couple of times. But not much came of that. Canada seemed to be involved in the conspiracy I thought was going on back then anyways. Actually my urologist is from Canada. That guy who seemed to think that certain people should be driving, though I think it was just a sick joke again. Actually a lot of my doctors and the doctors I deal with are foreign nationals or from foreign countries. So whatever is going on in my life is certainly known by them too it would seem.