Living together before marriage

Yeah, this is a tough one.

I feel it is something you should do with precaution. I have seen it too many times where it will NOT lead to marriage. Please, prove me wrong!!!

Men get too comfortable to make it official, leaving women wanting more from the relationship.

Why should they buy the cow if they can get the milk for free?

I really don't want to live with him until we get married. My boyfriend thinks I am crazy about this-

 

Even if you two don't make a conscious decision to move in, have two sets of keys and act like you're married, don't you still come over to each other's places (when you're living separately) and leave your junk behind? That's what I found from my experience. Then you stay over some nights at his place, and some at yours.

I tend to agree with you about men getting too comfortable but so do women. Be careful also of common law.

It also depends on the person. If it's a matter of convenience moving in together, then go for it. I don't think you can truly get a sense of all his habits until you've lived with him. And if you find out you can't, there you go. There may be dealbreakers in the horizon.

 

Well, I guess I'll be shot be shot down over this one, but I don't see what the big deal is with being married, apart from 'the day' and some girls' need to float down the aisle looking like a big white meringue. I married, parent pressure and all that shit, very small affair, but even that was too much. Now, much older and wiser I'd have none of it, living together would be the way I'd go, love is love, bit of paper or no. I've two daughters, and absolutely no wish to be mother of the bride. Then again, I might be strange in my thinking, although friends have been known to utter my sentiments in heart to heart moments.

My sister-in-law married and shortly after said, "Why the hell didn't I keep him as a weekend lover?" I laughed, well she did get what she wished for.
Luck to you whatever!

 

I lived with my husband for almost a year prior to getting married. So, it definitely happens.

 

I moved in with my fiance two weeks after meeting him. He bought me a ring and proposed twelve months later. We're getting married in 2008.

 

The ability to live together is very important. I had my nuts tied up over a girl and she was crazy about me, we moved in together and I remember thinking the first week that there was no way I could handle her. We were madly in love though, which made things interesting. But she was one of those girls who simply wanted a wedding. She didn't care who it was with - she just wanted a wedding. I worked at a harvest on a nearby farm and met a moron who was married .... no doubt he was the victim of a girl who, that's right, simply wanted a wedding. I pity the rhino.

Oh .... and Monk's girl - congrats on the marriage. We were also living together after two weeks (or maybe one ....) and I would have definetly proposed after a year, but she was impatient. Good thing to ..... I couldn't stand her.

 

Thank you.
I don't understand the whole wedding thing. I've got to plan ours now and i'm keeping it as absolutely low key as possible, much to my mother in law's disgust.
My engagement came as a complete shock. We were driving into the nearest city (about two hours away) and he said, 'we should go in and look at a few rings.' I didn't get what he was talking about at first. It wasn't a whole, down on the knee proposal, but i wouldn't have wanted that anyway. Especially not in a public place.

 

I dunno, I find it weird when couples don't move in together first. Like if you can't make just living together work how can you make a marriage work?
That's just me though.

 

I agree with you on that.

 

My thoughts exactly. I like you, Emma, you seem really mature and insightful for 15.

 

Aww thank you, that's really nice of you to say

 

C'mon love, that is a traditional Aussie proposal. Although it used to be a ring pull top off a stubbie but I think they stopped making them. These days I believe burger rings are the preffered option.
Seriously I am staggered when I hear what some people spend on a wedding. I have heard stories of AU$20,000+. For that sort of money you can just about put a deposit on a house or put a kid through school.
As for living together before marriage, I say yay do it.

 

Yeah, no way are we doing that. We're having a wedding on the beach with a celebrant and a pissup back at either my parents place or our place. We're going to NZ for the honey moon, i think. Either that or QLD.

 

Can I come to the piss up?

 

Do you live in Tasmania?

 

yeah I'm near Ulverstone. Just been to Hobart last week and I had a good time. Not used to having to rug up like this though!

 

why would you wait to get married before you lived together? you can't possibly know if you wanna spend your life with someone if you haven't even spent a month living together.

i lived with my boyfriend for two weeks, and almost stayed, but couldn't for a few reasons.... but we're gonna live together again this summer. we talked about how it was like we were married, and it was great . i can't wait.

 

I've been living with my girl for 3 years or so now...no troubles.
Of course, we don't really think we need a piece of paper and a chunk of metal&rock on our fingers to prove we love eachother.
We're still gonna probably go through with it one day...nice quasi-pagan non-demoninational wedding at some cool site like a Castle...but to be honest, it'll just be to have really cool memories and experiences.

 

that's cute... i hope i can say the same thing in three years.

 

I've been married and divorced, and my final answer is that I never want to live with another human being, ever again, for any reason. However, for the average person, I would strongly recommend living together first. The dynamic between two people really shifts after you move in together. It would really suck to find out AFTER the wedding that you can't stand living with your partner!

You wouldn't buy a car you hadn't taken for a test drive, would you?