shallow vagina and pain with sex

i have a shallow vagina, i am guessing, everytime i have sex after just a few inches, at the most of him inside me, i can feel him hitting my cervix, it hurts not like first time sex hurts, but more uncomfortable, and also it kind of feels like im going to pee if he keeps going. because of all this i have never enjoyed sex. i am in a serious relationship and dont want to dread sex. any one ever dealt with this if so any tips.

 

Have you gone to a doctor and asked about this kind of thing?

The peeing sensations "could be" him stimulating the "G Spot" as well...

However, if sex is painful, then you need to figure out a way for it not to be.

Don't be afraid to talk to your partner. If it's a serious relationship, he will want to know, and obviously not want to cause you any pain or discomfort...

:afro:

 

Seeing a Doctor really is the best way to go.

 

Agree with those that are saying you should go to the doctor! It will never be fun for you if it is painfull. The peeing sensation can be a sign of you being a squirter, but with the fact that you are in constant pain that is probably not it.

 

What helps me the most is having an orgasm before sex. Having an orgasm relaxes the vaginal muscles to prepare for penetration. When sex hurts, that's when I know that my vaginal muscles aren't relaxed.

I have a shallow vagina too, but it can expand when PROPERLY aroused. It's very important to be at the highest level of arousal before sex, which society doesn't teach us. Are you two doing enough foreplay? Do you feel a tingling sensation in your vagina before he enters you? Are you nervous before he enters you? If the answer is no, then sex will obviously hurt.

Try inserting a finger or two to help stretch yourself and relax. Over time, you can start with inserting a penis slowly. Vibrators can also help you feel more comfortable with penetration. This will not happen overnight, so I hope you and your lover are patient.

Good luck! I endured years of painful sex, until I found out that my body wasn't aroused enough to allow a penis enter. Can you believe that my ex in college would tell me to just take the pain and that the pain will go away? It never did go away until I met a man in my late 20's that knew how to rub my clit before sex.

 

Hmmm... OK, so you need to be aroused and nervous to have penetration? I think you mean if you are nervous it will hurt a bit.

Foreplay is awesome, and yes very much needed. However, it would still be best to go to a doctor and ask about "frigidity" (spelling?) it's not really common, but is also treatable, could be something like that too?

However, if you don't want to go the doctor route, just try a lot of foreplay and lubricants, and see what happens... Likely it's the whole arousal thing.

 

Sam-Oops, I meant that being nervous may cause pain.

Going to the doctor would help just to be on the safe side and rule out medical conditions, like vaginismus or infections. The OP also may want to check for latex allergies, if she is using condoms. Latex can dry some women out or irritate the skin.


One thing I've learned is that being mentally horny isn't the same thing as being physically aroused. A woman may be in the mood for sex, but her body needs to catch up. A good male partner is willing to take the time to get you revved up!

 

Very true... The wife sometimes "jumps the gun" when she is mentally aroused and then looks kinda sheepish when we she jumps on top and she's still "closed for business".

Always gotta have that foreplay.

She doesn't have an allergy to latex per se.. But she definitely doesn't like latex, and can't stand condoms.

I don't know if they "dried it out" but she said it was certainly uncomfortable for her.

 

Cute, I should try the "closed for business" line if I'm in that situation.

May I add that sometimes doctors and ob gyns aren't always sex experts? The best sex advice I've gotten is from other women on online forums.

 

I should say that the inverse of this can happen as well. Where a women's body is physically aroused but she's unaware of it sometimes because she's not in the mood mentally.

Female arousal is a very interesting topic.

 

Really?

Well, learn something new everyday. And if a woman is aroused but she isn't mentally, still means us guys can play

Well, at least with us guys it's pretty obvious and there's no second guessing LOL... :afro:

 

Monk jr is right, as even some rape victims orgasm against their will.

 

Yeah and we call guys that "play" upon only physical signs of a girl/women's arousal, rapists.

It's only acceptable and best to get her in the mood and have her be consenting, it's much more fun that way.

---

Amethyst, that's a whole new topic in of itself but I think in those cases, there is both physical pain and pleasure involved, and a whirlwind of emotional confusion for the girl/women in that scenario.

I think our sex education, when discussing sex, sorely lacks the talks necessary to help the victims understand how their body might react during forced sex. The talks that I think are necessary only happen in therapy AFTER something like this happens. Unfortunately, I think it's just a queasy topic for most of society to handle talking/listening about so it rarely happens.

 

I wonder how things turned out for the OP?

I will never underestand why someone would want to have sex with a person that's not interested. The men that turn me on the most are the ones that know how to create a safe sexual environment. Begging and pressure is a huge turn-off for me.


If you ask me, I don't think sex education (at least the one that I received growing up in the south!) explains female arousal at all. The only sex education I got was from an unhealthy boyfriend in college that said to just take the pain during sex. He also said that girls are wimps if they couldn't take the pain. I wish I wasn't so naive back then to just listen to him. He has been a huge factor in influencing my difficulties with penetration. Years of painful sex condition your mind and body to associate that act with pain. Even when penetration doesn't hurt, I still don't get that amazing feeling that other women talk about.

 

You might just be one of those women that doesn't enjoy penetration. It could be psychological, or it could be physical.

However, one thing you can do is masturbate more with penetration, actually feeling good while being penetrated.

You have gone through a lot of "conditioning", where your body relates penetration in sex to pain and discomfort. So every time you hear about sex your body is automatically going to cringe at the thought. You'll have to recondition yourself to feel aroused by the thought of penetration.

If you start masturbating more, and actually enjoying penetration, then eventually you should enjoy penetration again. Unless of course it just isn't your cup of tea, and that happens too.

But hey, that's alright... Everybody is different

 

Sam, I've done all what you mentioned. There are times when my gspot can feel tingly, but it's nowhere near as pleasurable as giving a blowjob or having your clit stimulated. I have read about how some woman just don't have vaginas with a lot of nerves, which is why they don't enjoy intercourse. It's a shocking topic to tell your partner that you don't enjoy penetration much. I used to wonder if I was a lesbian, but liking blowjobs defeats what lesbians like.

 

Ugh, I hate guys like your Ex, because of the trauma they put women through in the bedroom.

While I don't put much stock in virginity, I do at times wonder if it's best to not engage in sex acts simply to avoid guys like him.

In my humble opinion, I find that undoing and, for lack of a better word, reprogramming the brain's emotional response in neural wiring for certain types of sexual touch, like penetration, is much harder to do than if it was just done right and carefully from the beginning.

I think this applies to both guys and girls, but especially females given how important emotions and comfort are to the physical sexual response, and enjoyment thereof.


Going a bit into a new topic here, this is why I think any shame associated with masturbation at any age should be removed from society. I'd even go so far as to say parents should let their kids know where to obtain the knowledge, and tools, available as part of "the talk".

People should know how their body works before depending on a partner.


Do you guys agree or disagree?

 

Yes, I agree, she had a shit partner, and as a result, will really need to work at it to like penetration. But as I mentioned in my other post, she might just be one of those women who doesn't like penetration.

However, I don't think too many men would complain about her love for giving BJs. And if she likes clitoral stimulation and can enjoy her sex life that way, and her partner is OK with that... Nothing wrong with that either..

But yes, her first lover was a dick...

:afro:

 

My family and my ex come from a culture where sex is taboo and women's sexual needs aren't acknowledged. Even admitting that I like bj's in my culture would be considered outlandish. When dating my ex, I had to make sure that my parents still thought I was a virgin. So, I couldn't turn to them for advice on pain issues. It wasn't just my ex, but quite a number of young men had the "just spread your legs and let me pump" when I was in college. The idea of a man caring about my pleasure is something recent as I approach 30. Maybe that's why I'm a giver in bed? My early conditioning is based on pleasing the other person.

 

Edit.