Should I just let her do whatever she wants?

My girlfriend always says shes on lockdown and stuff. But should I just let her do whatever she wants? If she's gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat, right? Basically, she wants to hang out with her friend that she hasn't seen for a year (visiting from diff. state) and she asked me if she can hang out with her and smoke weed with her and stuff. At first I was all like why she couldn't include me with her and introduce me to her friend? And she said that she would but she wanted to spend Quality Time with just the girls. If I just tell her "Fine, yeah sure, do whatever you please" If she's faithful to me she wouldn't do anything right? It seems like it would be better to let her, rather then be like "No, you can't!" and then she goes and rebells and does shit anyway. Thoughts?

 

She will do what she wants to do regardless of what you say. However if you try to stop her from doing it, she might do it even "worse" than originally planned just to spite you.

But what is the issue here? Do you feel "left out" or do you think she's lying about seeing her so she can use that time to cheat on you?

 

yes

 

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. But see, whenever I tell her "Yeah do whatever you want." Then she's like "So what you don't care about me? You dont care what I do?"

But then when I tell her "No, I don't want you to go clubbing without me..." then she's like "Why! I want to spend Quality Time with my friends..You can go out with your friends if you want"

I know that if she wasn't going to be faithful to me, she won't anyways. So telling her "Don't cheat on me" won't do shit. But Sweet Pete, I guess at times I feel a little jealous, which is my problem. I guess you an say that I do feel a little left out that she's not inviting me at times when she goes out.

 

It doesn't sound like she's heading out to cheat though, it sounds like she's hanging out with her friends. Hell, my fiancee went all the way mexico and I didn't make a fuss, you can't stop them from seeing other people or you will lose them simply because they get bloody bored. My ex tried that, he didn't like some of my friends and would do the " I will miss you though, why don't you include me" I tell ya, when I left that relationship I left running.

 

The fact that she goes from one extreme "You dont care what I do!" to the other "I want to hang out with the girls" is a warning sign. I know, because I've done this before, mainly because I wanted to gauge his reaction. I think if you are jealous, you need to ask yourself how much you really trust this girl. If you trust her unconditionally, there should be no problem. If you don't, the problem either lies with her or with you, and you need to figure out which one it is. Good Luck!!

 

don't try to control women..it doesnt work......ever

 

just about every guy I've dated has been jealous, controlling, paranoid, etc. If you tend to be like that, then your girlfriend will just end up doing more things behind your back without telling you. If you can't find it in yourself to trust her, then you shouldn't be with her to begin with...or you should work through your trust issues. Not trusting someone takes a lot more time and energy then trusting someone and becoming happy.

 

you seem jealous and controlling. this type of behavior will only drive her away. nobody likes to be in a controlling relationship where they feel they have no freedoms.

 

why wouldn't you want her to hang out with her friends??

you cant be that insecure as to think that you're the only important person in her life?

has she cheated before? is that why you're so worried?

"rebels and does shit anyways"?

you're not her father, you're her boyfriend....just sayin'