"Do you smoke after sex ?"

"I don't know. I've never looked."

As a rule I don't write about sex on this website (unless I am in a serious 1:1 with someone who is overly curious). I've passed the age of being curious (at any level). After many years of being served Neapolitan and Spumone, I have come to learn that my flavor of choice is vanilla... sometimes French vanilla.
My two favorite venues for action are the bed or the tub (in that order). The days of having sex while standing up are long over. Such positioning generally makes me light headed and the thought of having blood rush from my head while I'm standing is not at all attractive to my way of thinking.
More often than not, sex is not made available. Or--imagining that the outcome would be worse than the actual activity itself--I find that i often say no to the possibility of carnal intercourse. Is there a substitute for sex? I'd say food.
Then you're probably wondering what kind of food would be a substitute for sex? How about breakfast? or tea? Mushroom omelettes with smoked fish, sauteed onions, sweet butter, and a roll with marmalade. Or pasta with diced tomatoes. How about sliced foul meat (turkey, duck, chicken) served up on crackers with a rich English cheese or even a stinky spreadable cheese such as Boursin.
I can think of endless carbohydrate dishes; potato pancakes, potatoes O'Brien, potato salad. Or rice in rice pudding or rice served with tofu in brown sauce and black mushrooms.
Clearly, I much prefer to think about food than about sex.