I, Candy

Eye candy was never a name to which I was referred during my lifespan. I have used it from time to time to describe others (usually men since it is more commonly used for women). The persons whom I elect/select often scoff or laugh it off. Surprisingly, however, these are men who at one time shared photos of themselves in their younger days when they truly were the epitomized vision of virility and sensuality.

So why is eye candy so trivialized. Well, it objectifies, meaning that it treats (a person) as an object or thing. While not everyone wants to be thought of as a brain or a specific talent and nothing else, objectified people are generally in the category of beauty queens or other pageant winners. Eye candy might also insinuate that the person is attached to another who is the lead of the pair. This is the younger lover or trophy wife (or trophy husband).

Why was I never a part of this? This is a recent selfie of me after a shave during Pride Month, 2023.




And this is a selfie of me on the very same day BEFORE getting the shave (in West Hollywood) during Pride Month, 2023




The before picture--in my own humble opinion--has me looking like a vagabond (albeit with an excellent credit rating). The after picture reveals my hanging jowl, my uneven smile, the eye wrinkles,,, Suffice it to say, I'm not big on keeping a clean shave face smooth as a baby's behind. It is fun to have it done professionally every now and again, but maintaining the look is not for me.

Add to this that at no time during my life was I ever toned, or buff, or cut, or whatever the phrase of the day might be. I stopped going to a gym after I graduated from high school. I had gone to a fitness center twice when they were offering free trials, but I found being in them to be a horrible experience. I would have chatty people exercising next to me on equipment; men/women/what-have-you babbling away about this, that, or the other that held zero interest for me. Or I'd try using a sauna during a time when it was for men only and a woman would saunter in. When she'd be told it's time for men only, she'd ignore the statement.

I never found the life partner that others seek. Some find 'life partners' more than one time during their life. Perhaps I'm too fussy. Or perhaps i'm not too forgiving. Or perhaps I just had one too many close calls with people who began to show their true colors during the relationship at a time when I said this is not something I could live with. What sort of things? Someone who'd rather get high or drunk than be with me in a sober state. Someone who had more reasons to skip intimacy or sex than actual times when the person would want to be engaging. Or simply times when I came to the realization that I served a practical purpose for that person and nothing more; usually a car, or cash, or an invitation to some place fun, or a dinner at a nice restaurant.

I've given up asking the cards what I need to do to become more attractive to another. I am my own self most of the time. I don't apologize for it anymore. I eat small meals, I wear deodorant, I brush my teeth 4-6 times a day. My hair is usually brushed in the morning and then allowed to curl or wave however it flows naturally. I let my hair grow for about 3 years before I will get it cut. I donate it to a wig-maker I stay out of the sunlight, email friends, talk on the phone with close(r) friends, and try to be a decent human being when I'm called to task.

Who knows? Maybe at 64+ someone might decide that eye candy is not a title for the young hopefuls. Maybe it's the name for someone who is seasoned and mature.