More Conclusions Now.

And like I said this is becoming the abuse of an elderly person, and specifically the abuse of a handicapped elderly person. And more than one person told me those two thing are funny. They obviously definitely are not. And there are things that should have been dealt with in my life early on but never were. I have Cerebral Palsy, my neurologist clearly told me that in 2011. I didn't write down the date or the quote, but I know he did. And now my doctors deny it for some reason, and people like my neighborhood friend tell me I should forget about it and it's not important. I think it's very important, getting that status and all the help I need with that. Because I know they told in Sinai-Grace last Summer they were observing me for mobility issues to see. IOW to see if I needed help for all the damage they caused me which now will be complicated by the fact I also have Cerebral Palsy, and whatever I have. I may never know, because I don't know when the court will allow my doctors to be open with me about that again. IOW to see if I need help, forcible help like they gave me July 22 when I thought I was just going to have a relaxing evening at home. But I plan on always keeping my independence, which like I've said will always require a nice large home and a car. But I really don't what the future holds after all they did to me, and once again radical plans are being made without telling me. There's also just simple issues like cleaning after number 2. I have had number one and number two issues all my life. Doctors always noticed it, I often talked of it and they even suggested sometimes I look into that. I require ridiculous amounts of toilet paper. I wonder if social security wouldn't pay for that alone. It gets very expensive. And I have a complicated way of cleaning I've had now for at least 20 years. I could never get myself clean, and even as a child and people treated me differently and unfairly because of it. Telling me I was spending too long in their bathroom cleaning up, using up their toilet paper, clogging their tank with it when I flushed. And like I said around 30 years ago merchants and others started that. Even though I explained to them if I was going to spend a long time in their store or business I would eventually have to use the restroom. It was imperative for someone with my condition I knew, even though I wasn't quite sure yet what my condition was. Although I had several theories even back then. Actually my mother was telling me and I was talking to my 2022 therapist about the fact that for certain groups, like people with colitis, availability of bathrooms is a political issue. People with colitis, people in wheelchairs, people with Cerebral Palsy, people with many issues I am sure. And people are never understanding even when I explain. Like in grade school when I ate my apple by the teacher's desk. I told them, it just takes me a long time to eat. And I've never known why. It obviously is due to swallowing issues I have due to Cerebral Palsy. And then like I said, people started getting unreasonable and even belligerent about my special problems after that. In the ways I described above and many other. But like my favorite song says, all my life dealing with all these issues I was always standing all alone. Especially after 1989. And then at that point people started getting really belligerent, with threats and threats of violence even as I tried to deal with these special issues I have had to all my life. I don't even know how people with Cerebral Palsy and other conditions do it. My gastroenterologist says I'm handling the situation well with baby wipes. But I the I have to use medicated salve afterwards, the area is getting raw even. And like I said, I am hesitant to reach out for help or even ask for advice because I know the help I get might be against my wishes. Or as I try to deal with these issues people will penalize me by dropping for being late. Even though I am only a little late now and probably not much more than usual. But like I said, I don't know what the future holds. My problems aren't going to get better with age. And no one will even tell me what is wrong with me. And that's not going to change anytime soon because as far as I know absolutely nothing is being done. Except people abandoning and dropping me.