More Conclusions.

I keep explaining this all to people, but it seems to go into one ear and out the other. So to repeat, I cannot go to a group home ever. I cannot go to any setting where I'd be inpatient all the time. As I said from the start, I'd lose all medical consent and I'd be at the mercy of whatever ridiculous thing is going on in my life. Whatever dangerous new level of Olanzapine, whatever secret thing is going on and being planned behind my back. The frightening thing about that last one is I don't even know from moment to moment. And now after being inpatient at Sinai-Grace for two weeks I know, I'd be neglected horribly with all my Cerebral Palsy and other needs. And I also know I'd lose all contact with the outside world too. My cries for help even forever silenced. I just can't allow that. Not even an old age home when I am elderly. Not even a home for people with dementia if I ever need it. I must spend the rest of my life blocking all that. I will never allow it, people will never get me in the front door even. But of central importance to my consent is that I hold onto a couple of things. First of all, I can't lose my feet. And at these dangerously high levels of Olanzapine the symptoms of my feet are changing again. It's an established fact that my doctors would lie to me, even if I was being harmed. And that horrible. It's illegal I was reading online. You're not to supposed to harm people with medicine to the worst of the worst criminals. And I'm nothing like that. I'm a very good person, I've never even been to jail. So why am I being treated like this? Another thing too is that I am very approachable. Through my life, all people ever had to do in any situation was just talk to me, reason with me. But they never do. Online even I've noticed, they sometimes resort to name-calling and threats and things like that. I will always listen to reason. But people just never try that approach first. And in addition to never going inpatient, I have to hold onto Eric as my guardian. There just isn't enough money in the trust for all my expensive needs now. Now that permanently damaged, all my mobility needs, all the damage that will come in the future, all the damage that will come from my diabetes, all the needs I will have due to my Cerebral Palsy. The Cerebral Palsy it was obvious I had from an early age on. Now if I has the status of a person with that disability, that would help. But I am being denied it for some reason. So I will need Eric's money always. And that's all he ever did. I couldn't rely on him if I had a flat tire, I couldn't really rely on him for anything. He just signed the occasional check. So why does he want to leave now? And why is he treating me this way? And why am I being told that his behavior is supported by the law? That when he abuses and neglects me and deliberately destroys my washing machine and microwave, the law would support him. I just can't believe that and I still want him to spend a month in jail. For the way he treats me and as an example to others, as I've said.

And the police seem to have a role in all of this. And none of that makes sense. As I said, I am a very good person, I've never spent the night in jail, I really don't have any run-ins with the police. So why are they in my life to begin with? And why are they treating me the way they are? They tried to take away my car for 20 years. They followed me around making my life an living hell when I was just trying to do harmless things like take a walk in the park or buy sports trading cards. I did nothing to deserve their treatment like this. Part of the problem with them is they seem to think I have the mind of a child. I don't. And plus when they cause me terrible problems they don't feel obligated to provide the solutions. They were going to take away my car even though I was a good driver when I explained I could never live without a car and I couldn't go to even my closest doctor without one. And now they did all this damage to me, that like I said I did nothing to deserve, and now they don't feel any obligations to repair the damage they did there either. They support Eric in abandoning me at the worst possible time. They support Eric neglecting me and treating me this way. Like I said, my therapist has said that people in my life have a lot to hide from the public. I think it is time to expose it all then. Especially when they do things like I described, and especially when the damage they do continues like this and they don't seem to learn their lesson. I also know I have long been told that part of the problem is living in Detroit. Detroit has a lot of social problems and things are different here in many ways, even from nearby cities that are also poor and that have similar social problems. But why should I suffer for that? And why does that all continue even after I've exposed it all?

But I guess I will have to spend the rest of my life fighting it and exposing it. I would have preferred to have some quality of life in what limited time I have left. And all I ask is to be left alone. But I guess the people in my life don't think that will be possible, and will continue to harm me and make my life hell on earth like they have since my childhood. But to repeat, I can never be allowed to go inpatient now. And Eric must stay as my legal guardian. There was never enough money for any quality of living for me. And now there are many more expenses due to damage I never even knew I had. And due to handicaps I never even knew I had growing up but that others obviously did.