More On Where Things Stand.

Plus I really think I am too old to ever move on or recover from this. I was talking to the first lady I talked about this. And with an obviously evil tone in her voice for some reason (she was acting very weird in that way and other ways, I didn't imagine that) she I'm not that old. Obviously as sick joke, what she said and the way she said it. But I am. Like 2004. That problem is gone now and all the irrational worries have been resolved too. But as I've said, I never moved on from that and never will. The same is true with this. But I'm too old to reach the stage where the problem is gone. 2004 was 20 years ago. In 20 years I'll be about 80. I'll probably not even be alive. Because of my Type II Diabetes and other damage. My doctors said I overcame my diabetes, I'm cured now. I almost thought of believing them. But I don't know. They said my neuropathy is gone, and certainly isn't true. Actually I think what they say is I never had neuropathy to begin with. Which is confusing, because I don't even know where they're going with that lie. Also I had my Olanzapine lowered to 2.5 mg. At Sinai-Grace hospital they said with a laugh that's just a baby dose, it couldn't do any harm. My pharmacist said it could. It's the nature of the drug he said. But of course my one doctor said who are you going to believe, your doctors or your pharmacist? Direct quote. The medical worker who lowered my Olanzapine to 2.5 mg said 7.5 mg is not dangerous at all. Now that's an obvious lie, a dangerous lie. Those c. 10 mg ranges of Olanzapine are what have me permanently damaged now and having all the additional problems I'm having now, even though I am supposedly not.

But anyways all I really wanted to do now was relax and enjoy a simple life. And simple life that costs so little, many times the things I want are free even. But instead I am dealing with this. And like I said, like in 2004 I will never recover. I will never be able to move on from this.