More Thoughts.

And I've always thought that the police have the hardest jobs of anyone. They have to retire early and they have one of the highest suicide rates. And I always thought most of them were good people and thought they were only there to help. But many of my problems I only found out in 2011 were due to the fact I was diagnosed with a mental illness long before high school. At age 7 with that first psychiatrist I saw, though I never saw one again as a child. There also seems to be some kind of program I was enrolled in then too. I knew little about it as a child but I did know that the other kids were told to play with me, which like I said at the time I thought was a good idea. Until most of them started being mean to me, and towards the end of my grade school year their abuse and the problems I had at that school led to years of my considering suicide and damage to my life that continues to this day. Situations that almost led to tragedy more than once if fate hadn't intervened many times in my life. All the problems I faced were mixed with elements of people's misconceptions of me, people's misconceptions of the mentally ill, people's misconceptions and prejudices of gay people, and how they wanted make an example of me sometimes. Now it all still continues with no end in sight while I am in a situation that I will never know has ended. I've been damaged and abused, I've been treated worse than the lowest criminal, unequal standards have been used to find me guilty of something when I have done nothing, all while horrible things happen all around me. And now I am entering my old age after a lifetime of this, being face with a new struggle that I now will spend the rest of it fighting.