The Banker Couldn't Identify Me

So I paid off two credit cards and asked the teller how I could get an ATM card.
"You mean a debit card?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"You can either do it online. Or you could call the bank. Or you could make an appointment with one of our customer associates."
So I'm about to hit the door while looking bewildered and two employees that were chatting each other up asked me if I needed help. I said that I was wondering if there is a customer associate available. The male one asked, "You mean a banker? I can help you."
So he led me into a small office and asked, "How's your day going?"
I ignored the question as I loathe small talk. "I need an ATM card for my checking account." I took out my driver's license and gave it to him.
He asked me for my phone number. It took me off guard. "Don't you want my social security number?"
"No, phone number is fine," he said. So I gave it to him. Then he told me my name. Great, now we're getting some where.
He then said, "I'm sending you a message. You'll need to respond."
"How are you sending me a message? I'm sitting right across from you."
"I'm sending the message to your phone," he said with some annoyance in his voice.
I told him that there was no one home to take the call. Now he seemed confused.
"The message is to your cell phone," he said.
"The number in your file is my landline. I don't have a cell phone."
Then he got totally confused and seemed almost paralyzed.
"Can't you identify me based on my driver's license and my face in front of you?" I asked.
He said that he could ask me a question. One question. And if I got that question right, I would be identified.
So I said, "Fine," figuring that the question would be from the stupid credit report questions.
His dumb-a** question to me was, "In what year did you open your account?"
"Are you for real? Do you think anyone knows when he or she opens a bank account other than the first one?"
I think he even realized how stupid the question was. He asked me for my address. I gave it to him. He then asked, "Is this where you want me to send the card?"
I told him that I only have one address.
As Forest Gump would say, "Stupid is as stupid does... sir!"