THE MEETING (Rescuing His A** from Fire Revisited)

It was Friday at 1500 and we were sitting in the anteroom of the suite of the Director's office. In June the windows that don't open had been left with the shades up so the bright light and heat were bearing down were torturous on my body. I'm generally secreted from direct light and heat throughout the day.
The employee asked for an interpreter. Since he is from the Philippines, I asked, "Tagalog?" He said, "Yes, I speak Tagalog."
So, the director ordered a Tagalog speaking interpreter via cell phone speaker phone. The interpreter introduced herself in English. She then spoke to the employee and (according to the employee) said that the service offers other dialects* from the Philippines.

Dialect

Linguistics. a variety of a language that is distinguished from other varieties of the same language by features of phonology, grammar, and vocabulary, and by its use by a group of speakers who are set off from others geographically or socially.

a provincial, rural, or socially distinct variety of a language that differs from the standard language, especially when considered as substandard.

I like to keep the definition handy because my rudimentary understanding of dialects were generally peculiarities in pronunciation that varied from the Standard norms.

Anyway, the employee latched upon the word Ilocano

Ilocano or I·lo·ka·no
[ ee-loh-kah-noh ] noun
Plural I·lo·ca·nos, (Especially Collectively) I·lo·ca·no.

a member of a people of Luzon in the Philippines.

the Austronesian language of the Ilocano.

The interpreter then said that she did not speak this dialect and that she would need to cancel the order and connect the meeting to customer service. Customer service said that while it did have Ilocano translators, none were available at the moment.
The director then decided to cancel the meeting and reschedule it for a time and date when one would be available.
The tension was releaved for the day. I treated myself to a feast from Canter's Deli (a plate of smoked fish, plain bagels, cream cheese, cabbage soup, a corned beef sandwich, chopped liver, and corn rye bread).