Where Things Stand Now.

I just talked to that lady again assigned my case at that new clinic. She said something that I found shocking and never knew. She said Eric could just have himself removed as guardian. As I told her, that can never be allowed to happen. For one thing, he was never that bad a guardian. He was very hands-off, which worked to my advantage. He abides by the rules and the law. He was just getting very belligerent and obnoxious. Especially the past couple of years. And then more recently. (He also told me, in so many words, the last Christmas before COVID that he did something to me that had him racked with guilt. But that is all I know.) But like our probate lawyer told me when my father was still alive, people are rarely lucky in guardianship arrangements. Plus Eric is family, and everything up till now has been working smoothly. At least as far as I know. The only thing is I have been kept in the dark for many years. Kept in the dark in an arrangement that hurt me, permanently damaged me and has left me with few rights, few options and no access to the legal system. It almost seems as if someone somewhere thinks I did something to deserve all of that, or that I am a bad person who needs to be treated that way. I always knew that wasn't the case. I've never been a danger to myself or others, I've never spent the night in jail and I would judge myself to be a very good person. So not that I would need any proof, but my doctors seemed to tell me they agree with all that when they warned me about all of this a couple of years ago. Also my therapist basically tells me, if not outright tells me, that the only reason why secrecy remains here is to hide the very wrongful actions of others. But that's all he'll tell me. And yet now I am still being hurt. I am permanently damaged. I don't know what the future holds with that. Although my doctors seem to hint darkly about that too now. And now I am at dangerously high levels of that Olanzapine. That Olanzapine, something I never needed, something I never should have been taking, something that was doing permanent damage to me long before I even knew it, and a drug someone like me with Cerebral Palsy should never take period. Criminals, from what I've read recently, would never be treated that way. And yet I was and still am being treated that way. But Eric cannot be removed or remove himself as guardian. Because there just isn't enough money in the trust for me to live on. There never really was.

My parents never saved up enough for me to live a normal life. And now there are all these additional expenses. All the mobility aids now I may need some day. All the handicapped equipment. The car I will always need, now that my life and safety will be forever in danger where I live. And the car with special handicapped features too. The simple fact I can never even allow myself to go to an old age home. I'd be at the mercy of that court, and all the other misguided people in my life. And now after my stay in DMC Sinai-Grace 5 South, I know that's how they'd limit my communications with the outside world. So Eric cannot be allowed to leave as trustee or guardian. I need his money, I always did. Now more than ever. And yet he, the court and everyone else in my life just want to leave me this way high and dry now. To fend for myself, with no money, and no way to care for myself. It's kind of like when they were trying to take away my car for 20 years, even though I am a good driver with good insurance. My therapist tells me it was basically the Detroit behind that all along. From the way he tells it, I can see he agrees it was a poorly conceived, and poorly thought out plan from the beginning. And like I said, it seems to have been separately a form of planned mental abuse. (I don't know why or how. I just found out recently the actual threat of my losing my car ended around 2014. But people in my life were still threatening me and abusing me with that up till recently.) Poorly conceived, and poorly thought out, because the police really didn't plan out how I'd get to all my doctors. Not the least of which was my last psychiatrist. He was all the way out in Westland. They had my pharmacy chosen out on Schaefer Hwy in Detroit, so I could take that horrible Olanzapine. But they never bothered to plan out how I'd get all the way out to Westland to see my psychiatrist. And that's kind of where I am now. If Eric left as guardian, and a new guardian was chosen, I'd have no way of paying my bills and handling all my expenses. I don't have expensive tastes in things. Polyester and cotton is all I ever wear, and I have been getting clothing at the thrift shop recently for winter too. But I'd surely end up homeless without Eric's money.

So if what she said in my teleconference is true, I guess I won't demand Eric take better care of me. Because she said if a judge looked into it, he'd just choose a different guardian. One with no money to cover my expenses, including the one arising from all the damage that was done to me (along with the misdiagnosis of not having Cerebral Palsy). So I'll have to just keep Eric and not complain. As I said, he does abide by the rules and the law. He is hands-off and has the money I will now need.

And that is where things stand now.