Stoned Festivus For The Rest of Us

Food's not hot enough, you say? Here let me heat that up for ya...




No injuries as food cart explosion rocks Whitaker neighborhood

 

it is actually the white trailer that blows up....he must have had something flammable inside there...holy crap it disintegrates

 

propane gas..

 

bleh. jury duty tomorrow. like i needed one more thing on my plate.

 

I know you are all about the civic duty so I wont ask for live tweeting the trial....a synopsis at the end of each day will suffice

 

Social media hero who bought $500 of Girl Scout cookies arrested by the DEA
no good deed goes unpunished..

 

• Conspiracy to commit bulk cash smuggling ($1,004,665.00),

holy bigtime batman

 

Just tell the judge... "Hell no... That guy's guilty as fuck!"


They will let you leave early.

 

when I am out and I meet a girl?...the first thing I look for is ''intelligence''....because if she doesn't have that?....then she's mine



……………………………………….anthony jessylnik

 

the fire dept i dont like got in trouble for saying racist shit over the radio during a fire call.
yeah I know them and they are racists. that was what the entire fire alarm curfew shit was about. that I put a stop to. what the fuck and the projects is right there, they treat it like its a prison. yeah agitating them all night with that fucking thing, and no wonder there is a domestic every day .. jfc smdh ..

 

middle of the night commercial for an airbrush....for makeup....seems a bit much

 

It gets worse, you’ll be chosen as foreperson of the jury and will personally hold the fate of one man, one defendant in the palm of your hands.

Not too much pressure there

 

thats not helpful.
like, im pregnant, running on 4 hours of broken up sleep. my dad has entered hospice stage, my mom is planning to come for a visit next week.
AND its going to be a nice day, so i i should be doing yard work.
if they pick me at all they are not intelligent. ill be lucky to go 15 minutes without bursting into tears

 

thought people had to fuck to get pregnant.

 

Yeah I didn't I mention that I flew toto Colorado
for a night haha

 

turns out frequency and quality do not determine fertility. i held a baby at thanksgiving and it screwed up my cycle. it should have been a "safe" day, so i didnt grab a rubber. but honestly, it happens so rarely i take the quickie whenever its available, and as little logistics as possible. timing be damned
but we are, like, on a roll now, in the 3.5 months since ive gotten 2 quickies.

they didnt even have me fill out a questionnaire. i went, waited for an hour, and was dismissed. so at least the whole day isnt a loss. but it is way colder than i expected so nothing is going to happen outside.

 

buddy to fix my washer is coyote hunting here on friday morning so I get a service call with no extra ''ferry charge''.....I think he gets a small fee for every tail and he sells the rest to a rendering guy

 

I can attest that is absolutely true...cant win a cash lottery for the life of me but one quick in and out and boom...kid lottery

 

it was in our 5 year plan to try for one more. i dont want to risk it after im 35, because it increases the chances of multiples, and ive already caught twins naturally. damn near killed me, and no one even told me for 3 years.