Opposites attract: myth or truth?

I'm more inclined to agree with Meliai. Similar interest with different personalities. But not too different. I wouldn't want to be around someone who will follow me around and talk me to death. But if i meet someone with a similar persona then neither will say much and neither will want to take the initiative.

 

I like that reasoning.

 

Very cool..

 

and I agree with that..

 

No. That opposites attract is a myth that has been disproven by every serious and well-controlled study to consider the proposition. The prevailing theory in human behavior, the one that has the greatest empirical support and evidence behind it, is known as "similarity attraction theory." It's been found to be true in same-sex friendships, in romantic relationships, in speed dating, and everywhere else it's relevant. The closer the relationship is, the greater the similarity between two people. For example, we perceive far greater similarity to our partners in romantic relationships than we do to our best friends with whom we are not romantically involved. However, whenever we're talking about people we choose to spend time with or whom we'd like to spend time with, the unifying characteristic in all of these relationships is in perceived similarity.

Now, if you're talking simply about visual "attraction," then yes, we humans notice what's unusual to us, because it's unexpected, and worthy of our attention. You're more likely to notice someone in a public place who has a long trail of toilet paper stuck to her shoe, who is 30 cm taller or shorter than average, who has a shaved head covered in tattoos or who is walking a pack of 14 dogs down the street on an organized tangle of leashes. In a crowd, you notice that a someone is speaking a language you do not recognize. However, are these the people you are going to have lasting friendships or romantic partnerships with? The fact is that it's highly unlikely, unless you yourself also have toilet paper stuck to your shoe, are tall/short, favor tattoos, love dogs, etc.

Attraction of opposites does happen, and you notice it when it does, but that's a cognitive bias, to see a 60-year-old man who is stick thin and very tall, kissing a much younger woman who is half his height and twice his weight, and as he utters sweet nothings to her in Finnish, she responds in Urdu, and for you to think: "opposites really do attract." Yes, they can, and sometimes do, but it's relatively rare. It's not how we humans pick our friends, nor our mates.

I'll qualify my reply rejecting the theory of opposite attraction with one important consideration. The whole notion of another person as being our "opposite" is something of a misnomer. Individual human characteristics exist on a continuum. None of the other 7+ billion people now sharing this planet with you who is your exact opposite. Even if you are an identical twin, you are only truly identical for a moment or two following conception.

That said, perceived similarity is what attracts people and makes for compatibility.

 

^
I think the opposites attract thing in mates applies more to personality traits than physical. Like, one person is rather shy and is attracted to a more outgoing partner. That's how they complement eachother then as well

 

as a matter of fact, i am most physically attracted to 7 foot tall bald dogwalkers with toilet paper hanging from various parts of their body.

 

I think that there are several dating websites that feature just such interests.

 

This has been the case for me. The only thing that is similar between my wife and I is that we both are introverts. She balances me out though- helps keep my anger under control. Other than that, have nothing else in common, and I don’t deserve her, LOL

 

A/S/L?

 

I would love to see you get irritated because some woman is following you around and talking you to death- I can imagine that!

 

6ft tall with a hairy chest and testicles?

 

Bearded :-D

 

It happened. I turned around and punched her in the nose then told the bitch to shut up. I'm kidding.

Being a man in uniform and having a cool personality, i'm sure this has happened to you quite a few times. Though i don't think you would mind.

 

I actually have had it happened a few times, and I would tactfully find a way to disengage, Lol!

 

I had a woman talk me to death but i couldn't disengage because i had to work with her. I felt they put us together on purpose because co-workers would say that she never stops talking and that i'm always quiet. So i assume they wanted us to work together in hopes that i will talk more and that she will quiet down. Afterwards my ears were ringing for about 3 hours. The next day the manager came to me saying she didn't want to work with me anymore because of something i said that was meant in humor. I have a very dark and twisted sense of humor when i open up. Sometimes violent and graphic. I guess that didn't work out. This was back in 2008. I've toned my humor and bluntness down because of the feedback i would constantly get. Its usually for the best that i'm naturally quiet.