Married men : how often do you want sex

Barry Thrift -
I wasn't doing anything wrong!! I'm the giver!! I know where all the parts & pieces are on women. I'm the experimenter, the explorer, the fantasizer - not my wife. I buy the vibrators, toys, gadgets, etc. and I'm NOT intimidated by them. (Just to be clear - we're doing much better now!) But for many years, she had NO interest in sex. I pleasure her for an hour or two orally and with vibes and give her multiple orgasms - which she loves. So explain the multi-year void when we were in our 40's and early 50's?? I haven't changed !! I'm clean, fit and well-groomed ………. ALL OVER. (I've only gained 15 lbs. since my high school days - 178 lbs. now). I treat her like a queen even today & I'm very romantic. I'd still like to do something sexual 3 times per week!!

Why do wives lose interest??? And some husbands as well???

I think it's just a case of, "Same old Henry." - - - "Same old Suzy." Boredom. Lack of "new." When someone new enters the picture, the excitement levels go up again. So it can't be biological.

Thoughts anyone??

 

Part of it is boredom. You get home from work, feed the kids, watch some TV, and then everybody's off to bed. If either partner isn't exhausted you have a little fuck session and it's off to sleep. Same scenario next day and on and on. That gets boring. You have to use your imagination to find sex outside the box.

Then part of it is biological. Medical issues come into play. Menopause fucked us up. That and other mega health issues. You can control only so much of how your body ages. The last thing on your mind is sex when you're bedridden fighting an illness. If you survive it you still may never be able to have sex again.

 

The long break she had, could have been down to hormones or lack of them, and from the sound of it they come back up unless, to get this she may have had help from her doctor and now thank god she is back in the game for you, as long as things keep going as they I would not complain.

One thing is we all change in our sex lives, and she had a rest and now got back in the game I would not complain as now you have your sex life back.

 

If I did not have to push for it daily and it was mutual interest/libido I could absolutely want daily. I often masturbate daily but would prefer sex...its wetter and more fun. Haha

 

Wetter the better, love it when it gets nice and wet.

 

Barry Thrift, post #24 - I absolutely enjoy our time together again !! I don't feel like the plague or a pain in her ass now. And I'm NOT complaining. I'm rejoicing!!!!!!!!!

I'm obsessed with knowing how to PREVENT a dry spell from happening again!!

 

Married 17 yrs now. My wife is great and I love her but it is now maybe once a month. She just has lost all interest. Waaaah!

 

To prevent it? first you have to know when its going to start, could be tomorrow or some other time, the thing is with women we never know.

 

Barry - ^^^^ True! Someone please invent a drink infused with a "female libido booster" !! Quickest billionaire in history.

 

try my mix called NOWHARDS MIX it works for men so should work for women? mind you its hot stuff to take but its like some men start on low level of mix and work up, our body's get used to the heat given off from the cayenne pepper in it, as you get used to it you up the mix, you just google NOWHARDS MIX and do the 12 trail and its cheap to take.

 

I'm 36, and I like to fuck about 2 or 3 times a week.

 

The question mentions libido, but it's only about frequency. That's not libido You're missing the three other pillars of harmonious sex essential to the concept of libido - intensity, duration, and variation. Without addressing all four, you will ultimately be comparing apples to oranges for every response.

I'm sure you've heard girlfriends mention guys who are "2-pump chumps." Such a man may be eager to do it five times a day, for a grand total of 10 minutes of sexual contact per day, hardly breaking a sweat, and always in the same position. That's high frequency, but arguably deficient libido for anything but self-pleasure. People mistakenly describe libido as if it was an "on/off" switch, which it isn't. It's got to involve some combination of all four pillars, not just frequency.

Honestly, a question about frequency, without addressing also intensity, duration, and variation, isn't worth answering. If my wife's idea of sex involved limiting each encounter to 3 minutes of lights-off, socks-on, missionary-position, once or twice a year would probably be enough for me after 30 years together.

There's also the essential question of overall physical health and fitness. If a person with an unhealed bone fracture recently repaired by surgery to implant hardware wants to do it at all, that's impressive. What we ask and expect of a mate has a lot more to it than age and years together. Whether young newlyweds on in our 80s and together 60 years, if one of us has late-stage cancer, sex is going to be low on our list of priorities.

On the other hand, if we're healthy and trying to conceive a child together, a frequency of 5 times per day, especially during her most fertile time of the month, indicates nothing about desire or libido, other than the desire to produce a child together. Our sex was most frequent, when we were "family-minded" as one would expect, and as Nature would demand. Our sex was nonexistent during the 11 days I was awaiting surgery to repair a badly broken radius and ulna, and for the three weeks or so after the surgery, as one would expect and as Nature would demand.

 

Excellent points some of which I touched on earlier. I think adding another "pillar" to the essentials is most important. That pillar is health. Injury, illness, even during recovery, sex is on the back burner. Life moves in ways one cannot predict. Suffering through minor or major health issues put a damper on libido. If those health issues result in abandoning all sexual relations for one partner shouldn't relief be allowed for the other? I feel very strongly about that but blessed I have a partner who understands.

 

We are in our late 30s. Currently we have sex almost every day. I personally love sex and i feel so lucky that my wife wants daily too.

 

74 and this last time 34 years. Sex at least twice a week. Oral cuts the number in half or not at all replacing vaginal sex.

When we were younger, it was at least every day, especially when trying to have a kid. We followed the Jewish tradition of no sex for 4 days before anticipated ovulation when trying to conceive.

We had a beach house. Something about salt water and the sound of waves stimulates the desire for sex.

Lube is now a necessity as not enough of the real thing. Favorite is coconut oil.

 

Make sure you keep it working, I did till I was 72 then the shit hit the fan.

 

Apart from not being Jewish, we have the same life style for sex. and loved it.

 

I'm starting to like you more and more! Most guys don't have time for sex during the day on weekends. Sports, and all that.

 

I married 42 years, we have sex 1 or 2X a month, but I like to have one or two times a week, she lost her libido, so I masturbate to reduce my lust.

 

Does that work for you? Only makes me more horny. Not that I'm going to quit.