No interest from Wife

I don't know your age...but I would suggest, if she will, having her hormone levels checked. I didn't want sex for YEARS. My husband is a saint. It wasn't because I didn't love him...I just had zero, or less than zero, desire. I started hormone therapy 7 years ago. Low sex drive is no longer an issue.

 

I had a wife like that it was not the hormones. After we split she was willing to fuck me daily like a crazy nympho person, she said she was wrong and wanted me back. I said fuck no. Some people are just fucking nuts.

 

My last wife started losing her sex drive almost as soon as we got married. It was all so very mysterious. Right after our divorce, it came raging back. Turns out all she needed or wanted was a new man to play with. My advice when they do this is to get rid of her immediately. I don't care what their excuses are. Nobody gets married to practice celibacy.

Last time I talked to her she admitted doing the same thing to her boyfriend she's been with since our divorce. She couldn't even wait 'til she was married to the guy. As just for fun says, some people are just fucking nuts. I don't need that unreliable shit.

 

It's a terrible thing, unrequited love.

I think it comes from a difference in timing. Sometimes we have expectations that are realistic enough to us, but to our partner they don't even occur as a blip on the radar. In that regard we are doomed to fail unless we can learn to compromise. It's like I ask myself "do I really have to drink tonight" and I think to myself, "no. I really don't" and then I don't. I have to vocalize this. Make it my mantra, and remind myself of my priorities.

It's like "what do I actually need?". Once I figure that out, it starts to get easy to not drink, or whatever it is. And of course there's the possibility of animosity or worse a little bit of retaliation. So many things are just too small to let ruin a marriage.

I have faith in these marriages. It's just a matter of timing and priorities I think.

 

I disagree to the max girl. Our sex ended on our wedding day. No sex on the fucking honeymoon and then migrane headaches for a year. then I caught her cheating. Timing is not an issue. It was all my fault. I saw it coming and was not strong enough to hurt her feelings and leave when she and her mom were planning the wedding behind my back. ALL MY OWN FUCKING FAULT. But it made me strong, very strong. Now, when I don't fall for the bullshiot they say I have issues I need to get over. yea right. I can see why some guys would start sucking dicks because guys don't have the crazy hormones unless they inject them on purpose.

 

I like your post here, but I'm not a girl. Just the avatar is a girl.

 

I like your post too and i am only a girl on horny weekends.

 

Oh.
I thought you said something to the effect of "I disagree, girl". I thought you thought my avatar meant I was female! Sorry... my mistake. It has happened before*

 

I’m in the same situation. My wife doesn’t even masterbate though. She just isn’t interested at all.
For last few years we’ve had sex a few times a year and she will occasionally wank me off but it’s to shut me up tbh .
If I never made any move with her again , I think it would suit her fine .
I’m a guy who naturally has a huge sex drive .
I won’t lie this is driving me mad and it’s really getting to me now .
Feeling so unwanted and unloved and all the while she watches how it’s getting to me and it’s like it doesn’t register with her at all

Happy to chat in PM if you want

 

My wife and I had a great sex life through our marriage. I noticed though when they changed staff in the place she worked about six years ago. The new women were very religious, very proper types. I noticed changes developing then with my wife. I think just being around every day with them was influencing her. After her office closed she opted for retirement instead of finding work. Things didn't change. Then she developed health issues. That changed things even more. No intercourse but did get occasional HJs and Bjs. Her health issues are now resolved but now there is absolutely no sex at all or interest either. Weve been social nudists for ten years. She too has stopped practicing that. I've learned to live with the situation. She supports my self gratification. Just has no interest herself

 

Been there and it led to horrible headaches and vomiting. It is a tough pill to swallow but IMO you MUST have a sit down and talk about it and solve it or your health will suffer and your kids if you have any will see it just when they are learning about life.

 

Hi thanks for replying.
Yeah it definitely needs spoke about and all dragged out but we have tried on many occasions and they all end up a row .
If my reaction is anything other than “ it’s ok , it’s fine , I understand “ she gets all upset and away we go .
It is already affecting me certainly my mental health anyway. I’ve never been so down and low .
I find it filling my head all the time leading to me losing Interest in things and not concentrating when I should be .
I know this needs fixed and she won’t accept help and as more time passes there only looks to be one solution but I can’t go ripping my family apart either

 

Here's something for you to think about, even though you may think I'm crazy. It could be a libido problem. Just a thought. If it is, it could be treated. What is there to lose?

 

Will she agree to a marriage counsiler for the both of you. I've been thru that and the counsiler will speak to one then the other. He will let your wife know how horrible the problem is for you and will explain it to her and ask her for a solution. He will not accept an I don't know because he will tell her the marriage may very likely end? He will tell her things she is not hearing you say but with somewhat of an ultimatum. This will bring the pimple to a head quickly. I feel for you bro.

 

Thanks I really appreciate that , I really mean that . Type of problem this is isn’t really something I can open up to family / friends about so it’s been a lonely road .
Yeah I’ve suggested counselling plenty of times but she’s not having it at all .
Won’t entertain it .
Doesn’t out right say no but there’s a million excuses

 

Little late to this conversation, having a similar issue myself as if late. Been with a girl for 8 years, we live together, etc. Haven't had sex in over a year now, it's driving me absolutely insane. In my case, she said she can't orgasm from sex (and apparently never had) despite that we had sex all the time early on in our relationship. Although in my case she wants me to out a ring on her finger, but I'm hesitant because of the lack of sex. I never had sex in my first marriage of 8 years, totally different issue, she was molested as aIa child and was severely traumatized but I never pushed it and we never dealt with it so it is what it is. However I'm afraid it is happening again.... I love her and I know she loves me, but without that intimacy, I feel like we are just roommates/friends.

Anyway only saying this to express that I feel your pain man. I am an extremely sexual person and am quite literally going insane because if this. So I certainly can't blame you for how you're thinking or feeling in that regard.

 

If I may offer you some advice, I would say find another woman who will love you. If you've already had discussions with her about this, she won't change. I'm sorry for you, but now is the time to let her go. It's easier to leave now than it will be later after you have been married.

 

I agree with this advice. No one, maybe not even she, knows for sure or will tell you the truth why she is acting a-sexually toward you. I was in an a-sexual marriage and suffered horrible migrane headaches several times a week, the kind that disable a person with vomiting, nausea, blindness and the like. When we split it only took a few weeks for her to come crawling back to say repitidly that she was sorry and to fuck my brains out daily for weeks. She tried dating but found no one who treated her as I did so she said she was blind. I flat refused to accept her back. I told her we could fuck as often as she wants but that as far as it goes. My friend, you are getting some good advice her from experience so there is none better. Use it.

 

All the issues which you guys have expressed are common in our lives. Many couples after living my years let say 2,3,5, or even more together, they got some issues inclouding sex conflict. At these circumstances talking together is nor affected, and both sides are not ready to change their ideas. If you guys think the marriage could change something you should be sure that it is too late to change, and it is a catastrophe to think if she gets pregnant to have a baby the conflict will be over. If You guys born a kid who does not like to grow up with a single mother or single father, you are wrong I believe it is a crime to born a baby in an unknown and uncomfortable living situation. We bring these innocent babies in this world so we are responsible not to parish their lives. So, it is better without involving a kid's life separate easily. There is always a man for a woman and a woman for a woman in the world. Our partners are not the only ones!!!

 

I agree, fix it before she gets pregnant if you cannot then leave.