A married couple were lying in bed at night. The wife had settled down ready to go to sleep, but the husband was reading a book by the light of his bedside lamp. As he was reading, he paused momentarily, reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy before resuming reading his book. Aroused by his touch, she got out of bed and slipped off her nightdress. The husband was mystified. "What are you doing?" he asked. "You were playing with my pussy," replied the wife, "I thought it was foreplay for something heavier." The husband exclaimed, "No! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages!"
All cracking jokes there Gal. But that last one. I don't get that. Can you please explain that joke to me Gal as I just don't 'get it'. Thanking you in anticipation of having a good crack explained to me.
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly towards a group of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologise. "Please allow me to help. I'm a nurse and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow." "I'll be alright... I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, then she loosened his trousers and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. "How does that feel?" "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
Two golfers are just about to tee off, when suddenly a naked blonde runs across the fairway followed by two men in white coats, a man carrying two buckets of sand and an old man hobbling at the rear. One of the golfers asks the old man what is going on. "That's a nymphomaniac from the asylum. We attendants are trying to catch her," he tells them. "And what about the man with the buckets of sand?" they ask. "Oh, that's his handicap. He caught her last time."