Let's talk.

Me neither lol

 

I bet you could make the earth move for me. lol

 

Mmm, I think I could lol, I'll give it damn good try anyway

 

A man, getting along in years (over 50!), finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to the doctor, who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say 'One, two, three' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

The medicine man replies, "When your partner can take no more sex and it completely raddled, all she has to say is 'One, two, three, four' and it will then go down. But be warned, the pork sword will not rise again for another year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, says "One, two, three," and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffy ever, just as the medicine man promised.

His wife turns over and asks, "What did you say 'One, two, three' for?"

 

Brilliant, where do you get these.?

 

I steal them. lol

 

Pete had passed his 29th birthday and was still not married, so his father found him a nice girl, whom he married.

Less than a month later, his father caught him masturbating in the garden shed.

"What's this?" he said. "I thought you'd stop doing that once you got married."

"But Dad," answered the son, "the poor girl's not used to it. Her arms get tired."

 

I have some news. I start work - or at least go into an office - today. Later I will need to report it to my Social Security office so that they are privy to any income I may obtain. I'm terrified that I'll lost my benefits/health insurance doing this, but I definitely need the money.

The way it works is, you can go to work on disability and then after awhile they figure "Ok, well then I guess you're not disabled anymore." Well, in my case that feels particularly asinine, but I suppose that sometimes symptoms of the illness do subside or become muted with age. Anyway, they will make their determination.

I hope that the work situation pans out. They had me sign on at $13 an hour, but it's an employment agency as far as I can tell. So they're not actually my employer. I guess they're my pimp. Ugh!

So I'll go see them this afternoon. I'm supposed to bring my passport to confirm eligibility to work.

 

I hope it works out for you as it looks as though you could do with a break .

 

Thanks!

 

Good luck Soul.

 

Good luck to you. Hope it works out well

 

Thanks, everyone.

It's an employment agency, so no luck yet (no gold, no rainbow), but hopefully they will find something for me.

One thing I don't understand about this is why did they collect my direct deposit information before I was hired? And why are they pursuing me rather aggressively just to hunt for jobs for me? and why are they locking me into $13 per hour if that isn't what a prospective employer starts employees at?

A lot of things I don't understand. I will find out more later when I have my appointment in a few hours.

 

I think most of my friends know my dad news. I will not dwell.
We all need fun.x

 

What is it? Dad news?

 

No.

 

Time for bed said Zebedee.

 

Well, a very early good morning to all. 03:15 another day upon us. Have a great day people.

 

My song for today

 

An amazing song