Let's talk.

I will chew your ear off later.lol

 

oh my that sounds kinky!

 

Candy, got a few of those going now. (from your last helpful info) Ah, so that's what "PM" means. Got it now. Thenk kew.

 

No problems. X

 

A Fishy Story
‘Are these your fish?’

Mary Lampton turned to see a small, shabbily dressed man holding out a sheet of newspaper with two fish on it.

‘No,’ she said, ‘they’re not mine.’

‘Really?’ said the man, who then turned and walked away.

Mary stood and watched as he made his way across the grass towards the boating lake, where a boy was throwing pieces of bread to three excited ducks. Nearby, sitting on a bench, where the boy’s parents, taking things out of a picnic basket, and the man sat down next to them.

‘Come on, Mabel,’ she said to the Yorkshire Terrier sitting patiently at her heels, ‘let’s go home.’

As she walked home, Mary thought about the oddness of the incident. It wasn’t the man himself, as odd as he was, but the fish; that’s what struck her as the really strange thing because a couple of trout is exactly what she was planning to cook for supper that very evening.

Once home, Mary made herself a cup of tea, thumbed through a magazine as she drank it, and then got on with her domestic routine. Not long after six o-clock, Mary’s husband, Roger, breezed in from work. She was at the sink, washing dishes when he walked into the kitchen.

‘Did you remember the trout?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’ said Roger, ‘I remembered the trout.’

Mary turned round to see Roger holding out a sheet of newspaper with two fish on it, and she had to pause for a moment before taking them from him.

‘Were they very expensive?’ she asked.

‘Actually, they were,’ said Roger, ‘I had to buy them twice.’

‘What do you mean?’ said Mary.

‘Well, I decided to have lunch in the park, and I picked up the fish on my way. There was a funny little man sitting on my usual bench, talking to himself, which was annoying because I was looking forward to reading my book, and he would definitely have been a distraction. Anyway, I put the fish and book down on the bench, and turned to get my sandwiches from my brief case; when I turned back, the fish and book had gone, and so had the man. I couldn’t believe it.’

‘In that case,’ said Mary, ‘you definitely won’t believe this,’ and she went on to recount her own brush with the strange man.

Just as they sat down to supper, the doorbell rang, and Mary got up to answer it. She wore a stunned expression when she returned, a few moments later.

‘What’s that you’ve got in your hand,’ said Roger.

‘Your book,’ mumbled Mary.

 

Here's something we can all agree on:



The vaccine should be tested on politicians first.

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.

 

LOL

 

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for candy, cookies and all sorts of other things.


The grandfather is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long." Another outburst and she hears the grandfather calmly say, "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there."


At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the cart. Grandfather says again in a controlled voice, "William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."


Very impressed, the woman goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying that things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandfather."


"Thanks," says the grandfather, "but I am William. This little shit's name is Kevin."


Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked. — Mark Twain

 

A man walked up to his friend and after looking him over said. “How long have you been wearing a bra?” The friend replied “only since my wife found it in my glove compartment “

 

A bossy man goes into a bar.
He orders everyone around.

 

My house was broken into today...the thief took all my anti depressants...hope he is happy now!!!

 

Another wooden ball!
Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

 

I paid a carpenter upfront to make me a double bed and the bastard's done a bunk.

 

Knock-knock.

 

wHO is there?

 

Emerson.

 

Emerson WHO?