Husband may be loosing desires.

First time to post and need help. Hubby and I are both in our mid 60’s and I require a lot more sex than he does. He says he thinks he’s loosing his desire... but refuses to do anything about it. What’s a woman to do??

 

First of all sorry about that.

Looks like communication is happening.
But not the action.
I have only one idea. Would you be both open to the idea of you having a sex partner?
Everything being open between you and your husband.

 

Get his testosterone level checked. Should be part of his yearly checkup. It's important not only for libido, but muscle mass, bone density and all kinds of things. Maybe it's time to spice things up a little more - more oral, maybe a toy (which might be part of your answer), dirty talk.. If he's on antidepressants, that's a big downer in the boner department. If it's just ED issues, be sure it's not circulation issues. If it doesn't work, may be other things going on. The penis is the dip stick of the male body.....

 

It’s not that we aren’t having sex... just not enough for me. Sharing partners is not an option for us as we have known to many couples that split up when they share.

 

That’s the problem!! He refuses to go to a doctor. Probably hasn’t been to one in 10 years. His pride and ego ( having to admit he has a problem) is the problem. I don’t know how to convince him it’s normal!!!

 

He should have a complete physical asap and a cardiogram and colonoscopy. 10 years without a physical is way too long. And he should do it not only to check his testosterone level but to get a general health assessment! Try approaching it from that angle.

 

Believe me... I have tried for years to no avail

 

Your husband is like a lot of men and is normal. Men just don't see doctors. It's that macho persona driven into us from childhood. He feels fine, why bother? He's a man, tough to the core. Plus not knowing if there is a real problem is no problem. It'll take a major event (heart trouble, stroke, or cancer) for him to change his stance. Until then he's going to refuse to look into his slowing sex drive just in case there is something wrong. For a man in his mid sixties there's a plethora of body issues that slow your sex drive and they're not all testosterone related. Blood pressure, enlarged prostate, restless leg syndrome, high cholesterol, and diabetes to name a few. These are silent issues where the body doesn't alert you that there is a problem. But they are real. Unfortunately your husband will need a life threatening event to wake himself up to the joys of medical maintenance. But the best advice is to keep trying to get him to check it out. At least get a physical. Use something other than sex drive to do it. Maybe the COVID pandemic might get him to a doctor and while he's there get a quick checkup.

 

Thank you for your words they really mean a lot to me and you seem to see this the same way I do.
I have tried to get him to just just a regular checkup and will continue to do so.
I have enlisted his best friend to help convince him to get a check up.

 

Consider yourself blessed! Most women in their sixties have lost their desire. It's very healthy to want and have sex. As guys get older we need women to be nastier/dirtier to pique our desires. Maybe you can find out his dark fantasies. Overall health is important. Does he exercise? Some regular cardio, stretching, and lifting will do wonders. Are you eating healthy? That's just as important. Cut out starches, eat 80% of calories from plant sources and 20% from animal sources. Make food from ingredients, skip processed foods and eating out. Note that frequency must decline with age out of necessity. Guys need to ration their energy to stay healthy. Once a week to ten days is a reasonable balance for him to cum. Preferably inside you for your health benefits. In between he can eat and finger you to help you get off. Ideally you'd have a healthy respectful mutual friend who you both get together with in between who'd cum in you with your hubby cheering you on, but it's understandable that you'd be reluctant to try that route.

 

I honestly don’t know how I could be and nastier. . I’m not bragging by any means but for a woman 60+ I look pretty damn good

I never wear a bra
I often wear crop top that shows inderboob when I reach for something...
I sleep in the nude always...
Have no issues with porn
Have several bronze nude women statues in our bedroom..
And he knows there is nothing... and I mean nothing that he could do to me in the bedroom that I would say no to.
I just really want to be fucked at least 3-4 times a week.... he’s happy with once a week.

 

I love you! And that's without meeting you. Or even seeing a pic. That doesn't matter, you rock.

Realistically, it's not about how hot you are because they don't come any hotter, a guy in his sixties would be overtaxing his system by cumming every two days. The body needs time to recover and that gets longer with age. I suppose he could take Viagra and fuck you more, (even if he didn't cum every time) but who knows what the long term effects on his health would be from taking that. I'm thinking alternative methods - pussy sucking, fingering, dildos, vibrators...
Too bad you can't entertain the teens around who are jacking off every day wasting their hard cocks and cum. That would be a perfect solution for you and them!

 

I think I love you too... you are easy to talk to.. good for my mind.. soul and ego
I have discussed options other than just fucking that would be enjoyed, I just think he thinks that wouldn’t be fair to me even though I have told him numerous times I’m fine with being finger fucked to with a vibrator.
Another issue is I don’t want to be treated like a China doll that is going to break. ( I can’t tell you how many times he has said he doesn’t want to hurt me even when I tell him if anything hurts I will damn sure tell him )

 

Not so fast. I'm well over sixty, orgasm nearly daily, and don't see myself needing days to recover. Hell, the other day I came three times the last being inside her vagina. I was so worked up the first two didn't squelch my horniness at all. Now, that did sate me for a day or two but I was right back at it soon after. Age does play a part but so does the manner in how you take care of the only thing you have. Your body. Take care of it and it will keep on giving you loads of pleasure year after year.

 

Sweet! A guy couldn't dream of a more sexy woman. This is the time to be doing everything possible to accommodate your needs and fantasies.

Oh I'd find your limits! No holding back. There's a time for all levels of vigor. Plus I'd encourage you to give me feedback. More, less, harder, softer, that's good, now do this, etc. And that would be a mutual thing. It's really important to get more crazy with it as we get older.

Another factor to consider regarding biological and subliminal cues of sexual attraction and performance is smell. Are you wearing scents, like perfumes, lotions, sprays, deodorants, etc? Showering daily with fresh scent soap and did shampoos? That stuff is designed to suppress the natural urges and instead make people smell "good" for a controlled office type environment.
Try applying nothing and go a few days without showering to see what happens. See if when you develop a little natural body odor if it doesn't attract him more. This experiment could take a few cycles to see results but it should definitely help his arousal. Be careful though, it may attract other males. And other women will be repelled. They might call you a floozy or a slut behind your back.

Try showing him some porn where men are sucking the juice out of women's pussies (not just clit licking). Fingering/sucking combos, dildo+licking, stuff like that. That might help him get some ideas as you tell him how much you'd like to try x,y, and z.

Piss play, a lot of people have an aversion to trying it but those who do really enjoy it.

Maybe go for a hike, stroll in the park, somewhere public, and tease each other. Fondle, kiss, go behind a bush for some sucking and a little penetration. That always kicks up the level of excitement.

There's a lot of options for you. Where there's a will, there's a way. You'll get there.

 

Oh honey how I wish you knew me
I have mentioned everything you have suggested. We actually have 2 porn channels on our TV....
He won’t go down on me because he says I get to wet . I told him sex was not supposed to be a dry activity
Doing something in a public area is out of the question... I can’t even get him to have sex in our own backyard or in the pool.
My point is “I” am up for anything... he’s turned vanilla. He is a 61 year old man acting 80.
It is so refreshing to have you to talk to. What state do you live in???

 

I wish I knew you too. No way we could just be friends in person without doing it though. I'd either have to have your body or I'd have to go away. Jus bein real withya beautiful soul.

Too wet??? I didn't even know that was possible. That's the craziest complaint ever, IMO. Nothing better than sucking it out, licking it up, and swallowing as much as possible. The wetter the better! You could just come from a bareback gang bang and it would only be better. Honestly... And get on top, straddle me, to give the advantage of gravity so I can get more juice. Please!!!

Backyard, pool... I don't know if the neighbors can see in but if they can then I'd make sure they got a show. Except if kids can watch but even then we can make it obvious to the adults what we're doing even if we have to shield the view to the goodies for kid's sake. Same goes for park, etc. On trail I know how to set up so adults coming around a switchback or obstacle can catch us red handed and get a good view quickly till we pretend we're surprised, pull out, and cover up sorta. It would be clear that we don't use underwear and always wear easy access clothing. We can piss, suck, and fuck in an instant without having to take anything off or pull anything down. Then back to covered in an instant when it's time for that.
Show that to hubby, sweetie, and he'll see how you want to have fun. Ya gotta go for it, life's too short!

 

What utter nonsense! No way that is the case for every guy in his sixties, or beyond for that matter.

 

Oh? Do tell...