No interest from Wife

Much like everyone else is saying , run for the hills man.

You’ve spoke to her , it already feels like room mates , this isn’t going to change .
Get out before you get in to deep you can’t or it’s really difficult to get out further down the line .

 

To Zen Dragon (I believe you're the one asking the question), if I may add one more thought.....take it from someone who's been through what you're going through now. She will not change. There will be no sex, cuddling, holding hands, BJ's, kissing, fondling, nothing. You will continue to be angry and frustrated & you will get angrier as time goes on. You need to find someone who will give you the attention that you need and that you can give in return. You don't say how old you are, but I'm sure you're young enough to find someone new.

 

Just randomly wondering back by this post... It's interesting that the advice given is generally just basically, "leave her and find someone else." But thing is, I care about her, I love her. It's not just that simple. Come to find out she's been having extreme chronic back pain that she wasn't really telling me about and that was also contributing to the issue. Shea supposed to be getting an ablation soon, hopefully that helps. But it's still something that's hard to just bring up. There is never a "right" time for that conversation and when it does come up by accident she clearly feels bad about it. It makes me feel bad to keep pressing the issue, but masturbation is getting a little boring these days.

 

Lets face it everyone makes an effort in the being of a relationship. Sooner or later everyone then defaults to their normal state what ever that may be.

If you're lucky a couple match and their sex drives dovetail nicely. Most won't be a perfect match and a couple have to give and take a little.

In this case it sounds like the wife's default position is being happy with next to nothing as a sex life. Ask her to accommodate you, get her to agree to sex at a time and place every week i.e every Wednesday, live with getting nothing or leave.

 

Be frank with her. Say," I know you don't want sex any more, how would you feel about giving me a courtesy hand job twice a week?" If she says no just tell her a man can get weird ideas when he does not get a regular release. That should make her think about all possibilities that you don't actually mention. And for some added pressure record the conversation. When she asks why say "you never know if I might need it in the future." (divorce court)

 

Take it from someone that’s made bad decisions, get out while the getting is good. If she has quit already, she ain’t gonna get better with time. Especially if there aren’t any children in the equation.

 

Sadly this. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm going to tell you something you won't want to hear but here goes .
She doesn't love you.
She may say she she does. She may think she does, but the sad truth is that ship has sailed.
To know this all you have to do is reverse your relationship. Imagine your libido was through the floor while she was left high and dry, feeling frustrated, hurt and unwanted, and you knew this.
Ask yourself how little would you have to care for her to leave here like that and show no interest in even giving her hand relief say twice a week? No matter how low your sex drive was, if you loved her, could you leave her like that?
Sorry but a life of feeling you aren't attractive to the one person you care for in the whole world would be soul crushing.
Having said that if you can cope with that, and it can be done, I wish you all the best.

 

For us, it was after many years of marriage. She got militant about NO sex and I was still desiring it a lot. It caused many arguments and anguish. She felt (and still feels) that she shouldn't ever have to do a favor. She confided in a few of our friends, one of whom was our former neighbor across the street who came to me and expressed her concern. She ended up, by mutual agreement, being my first FWB but her advice to my wife was to give a courtesy blowjob once in a while. My wife hated giving blowjobs so that wasn't going to work. So we all agreed that my neighbor would take care of me and no one would ever ask any questions. That was 13 years ago and things are still pretty much the same. For us, it all worked out. For others, maybe not. On another forum a similar thread included a post from a woman who said that after menopause she lost all interest in sex much to the dismay of her husband. Like posts here, it strained the relationship and threatened the friendship and marriage. She posted that for her, it was worth getting on her knees a couple of times a week to suck him off even if she saw it as just plain work, rather than risk him going out and getting off with another girl who he might then get emotionally involved with. I don't agree that anyone should just cut the other loose and find a new life. I do believe that the conversation about how to make everyone happy has to take place. For me, it was during an argument when she yelled at me to "just go find someone to take care of it but don't even think that I'm doing it any more" and I responded that I might just do that. She said to go across the street and *** (our neighbor) will be happy to do you and I shouted back that I'd be happy to have her do me. A few minutes later, we were having a difficult but sane conversation and I found out that the two girls had already partially discussed it. Anyway, it's not easy. But it is worth the effort. My .02.

 

I just find it flabbergasting how some would rather totally alienate their husbands and blow up their marriage than to be a team player and just give a ten minute blowjob on Saturday nights......it's always about more than sex, of course.

Yeah, crazy talk. Must be my hormones again.

 

Its not crazy talk .Its intimacy which is a very important part of a relationship and in some cases replacing sex in the case of ill health .

 

I'm sitting here reading these posts of having sex once a year for some of you men... while I'm whining because I only get it maybe once a week. I miss having a high sex drive man!

 

I'd be happy with once a week lol.

 

I find the more you do it, the more you want to do it.

 

Yes, more scratching more itching, but sex requiring is something else. All healthy people need sex, it is essential for married life.

 

ya have to find yourself a fwb that’s the fun no strings attached bliss

 

Twice a day always seemed about right to me. Do it how she likes, later do it how you like it. Have a long one, later have a quick one. But tbh I've never turned a gf down if she's said she wanted sex. Even if I'm tired just rub me in the right places then watch and see what pops up, a bit like Aladdin's lamp ;-)
I mean come on there's cowgirl, the guy just has to chill.

 

I see this a lot and i even had the problem myself. The man is the real lover while a woman's love is the responding to the mans love, Love her whether she is lovable or whether you get it again or not instead of Lusting her. Love the woman not the pussy. And you may finally see thing turning around. Yes fucking is better than masturbation but it will maintain you until the rodeo starts

 

Does your wife have a solution for your needs? When my wfe was done with sex, it was her suggestion to mess around with our old Gay Friend, who was now old , single and also in need. It would take care of basic sexual needs for both of us.
No jealousy, no hastles,no women allowed. We just smoked a dube and gave each other great bjs. Fun and easy solution.The orgasms and satisfaction were well worth it.

 

Women's bodies change. So does their personality. A lot of the time it's when they get what they want such as a man in marriage. That's a security thing. It's a dream for a lot of women to be walked down the aisle and they will do almost anything to get there. Then they will keep up the persona providing essentially a cum dump for hubby so they can fulfill their lot in life, having children. Once they have enough those legs lock closed no more to be opened. Husband can now go fuck himself. Vows be damned her personality changed. It's reverse cheating. Wife is now cheating husband out of the pussy she gave freely. So men find a release. A partner who will fuck him for something. Maybe for money. Maybe for other reasons. But I have to say a woman may have medical issues to where she can't fuck anymore. But refuses to release the husband for security reasons. So what does he do? Finds pussy that will fuck his cock whether she likes it or not.