A question for married bisexual men

Does he regret getting married? Sure, I've heard guys say that they wish they hadn't gotten married but it doesn't change the fact that they did. That "free pussy" thing a holdover from a time where it was a given that if a man got married, his wife was duty bound to fuck him and he could take the pussy whenever he wanted to - but women had had enough of that and fought for the right to tell a husband that he couldn't have any and if he forced her to give it up, he could get charged with rape. I can't remember the last time a husband took his wife to court because she refused to have sex with him - loss of consortium - when having sex with him was part of her marital duties (and it used to happen a lot in the 1980s) but no meant no and "keeping only unto yourselves" didn't really mean or imply that a married couple had to have sex with each other - they just couldn't have sex with anyone outside of their relationship.

Does he try to get her to see reason? Some guys do, some don't bother because everybody knows that if you say anything to her about this, she's gonna cut you too short to shit - and might even go give her pussy to someone else while accusing him of cheating on her... when he really didn't. The horror stories I personally heard were cringeworthy and the worst ones were the ones where a guy eloquently argued his reasoning to her with perfection and... that's all he did. She understood everything he said and agreed that he had a point... and he'd better not even think about going ahead and doing something with another guy.

Look, historically, it's been proven that wives have not reacted well to the news that her husband either liked pussy and dick before they married or he now has a hankering for sex with a man from hysterics to an immediate end to the marriage and with ugly and costly divorces for the guys who were being open and honest with her. It put a lot of men on guard because women/wives were demanding truth and honesty but when they got it in the form of news like this, it was never a good thing. True enough, some wives were okay with hearing this news and usually because they had a similar hankering for women but they had to hide this from a husband who might beat her if this got out. Or it was a chance for her to get more dick but those women were - and still are - an exception rather than the rule.

But the rule was - and still is - that if you're a bi guy, if you tell her that before you get married, um, you might not get married. If you tell her after you get married, you might not be married for much longer and guys knew this so it was easy to assume that if you told her, it was going to be your ass so why tell her? Today, there are more couples agreeing to ethical non-monogamy because these... extra needs are being recognized and they know that they have the power to effect change in the rules that prevent them from doing anything about these extra needs and some guys could very well be married to a woman who'd be agreeable to such an arrangement... but they're afraid to ask and for good reason due to more negative outcomes than positive ones.

 

An excellent, thorough, concise, well-written, "right on the mark" commentary, for sure.

No matter what happens, someone is bound to be hurt.

Hysterics?

Screaming?

Ranting?

Crying?

Or, perhaps in some cases, a cold, detatched reaction, full of calm malice?

Ultimatums, in no uncertain terms?

Yes, it is quite clear that the bisexual married man (unless his wife is exceptionally understanding and open-minded) is faced with challenges and obstacles that, in one form of another, must be addressed at some point during the marriage.

Can being honest and open with the wife cause a volatile reaction that is as bad as actually being "caught in the act"?

So much at stake, no matter what road the husband chooses..............

 

I've seen all of the above. Ultimatums along the lines of "You'd better not... or else" being given. Being accused of cheating when no cheating has happened and, irrationally, getting highly bent out of shape over something that he did way before they even met - but that's because he didn't tell her about it when they met. Must those challenges and obstacles be addressed at some point? Only at your own risk (or potentially so). I mean, who knows - ten years or more down the road, she might be open to certain things or, at the least, willing to talk about them without you thinking she's going to murder you in your sleep with her cold and detached reactions/responses.

Yes, being open and honest can cause a volatile reaction equal to or worse than being caught in the act because your open honesty has betrayed her trust in you; it's crushed her very soul to hear that you don't love or want her and prefer to be with a man even though you never said that or implied it but now, this situation isn't about you: It's all about her and you're going to wish that you never said anything to her about it. It is to note that bisexual women face the same kind of reactions and reactions that could include physical violence against them - and some men have been brutalized by offended women.

 

Another excellent response....yes, I am sure it all can get pretty intense (and ugly) when the situation is at its very worst.

And, what of the bi married guy who finds himself in love with his best buddy/bed buddy, his emotional feelings towards him as strong as they are to his wife?

Can the wife accept this, that her husband has two lovers/bed partners (herself and her husband's best friend)?

There was an online article I read long ago, "When Best Buddies Become Bed Buddies".

If the wife is not receptive to her husband's sexual tastes for other men, this can indeed get nasty.

I also read an account (long ago) about a married guy having serious sex with his father-in-law; both men ended up divorcing their wives to start a new relationship together.

Now, I would say that this might not be something you hear every day, BUT, I know I've read a lot of online (erotic) accounts of married guys and their father-in-laws going at it like rabbits.

In any event, bisexual married men indeed often find themselves walking on the edge of a sword.................

 

"Getting nasty" can be an understatement to end all understatements. When you're married or otherwise in a relationship, you are not supposed to have feelings for anyone else and you sure as fuck aren't supposed to be having sex with them and double that sentiment if the sex is homosexual. I knew of wives who got between their husband and his best friends and went out of their way to fuck their friendship up and, yeah, sometimes, accusing the guys of fucking each other when they weren't... but sometimes they were, ah, helping each other out at times and if that was the case, tons of shit would be hitting the fan and few women wanted to hear or understand that it's just a guy thing.

Hell, my now late son-in-law and I were suck buddies for a while before he fucked it up for both of us. I got to take his cocksucking cherry and he said that I was the only one who sucked his dick and could make him cum - and I thought that my daughter would be pissed about that, but she said, "I'm glad somebody could do it because I get tired of trying to get him to cum..." It was her idea that he have his first experience with me because he had told her that he wanted to find out what it was like but there wasn't anyone he trusted and... I got volunteered, which shocked me for a moment. We sat and talked about it, and I did try to talk him out of it, but he was determined to do it and I said okay... and I had him cumming in my mouth in less than five minutes. That boy had a nice, big and fat 9" dick that I'd have a field day sucking on.

We never fucked but, yeah, we'd go at each other something fierce to suck each other off until he fucked it all up by making demands on me to drop whatever I was doing to come suck his dick and, well, I don't roll like that and I don't make any exceptions and he wasn't happy when I told him that I wasn't going to suck his dick ever again in life and left him to figure out why he fucked up what was a damned good thing between us.

But not all guys are that lucky and even if they were having sex with their father-in-law, you can bet your ass they were being as sneaky about it as humanly possible. Do married bisexual guys find themselves walking on the edge of a very sharp sword? Yeah, I'd say for the most part since, again, it's the most fucked up situation any bisexual can be in - but you find a way to live with it and, ultimately, you do whatever you need to do about it and to hell with the consequences.

 

Just had this thought (frigging SCARY as hell!).............

If a wife (who was NOT at all open-minded towards her husband's bi side) happened to catch her HUSBAND and her DAD going at it "hot and heavy"......good God, I can see it all turning into one helluva bloody battlefield, with a LOT of shit hitting the fan (to put it mildly)

For sure, it would not be a pretty sight; something of this magnitude could really blow the roof off the joint, destroy a marriage, and tear a family apart...............

 

I'm almost completely certain that if the situation you mention were to happen, hell would look like a good place to be on vacation. The "good thing" is that I don't know of anyone who'd been in that situation and had gotten caught on the downstroke. Knew a couple of guys who screwed their mother-in-law but didn't get busted but their father-in-law? I couldn't tell you anything about it; I would say that my situation was different because our wives knew that we were sucking each other off so no drama or extinction level events.

 

In the same vein, I would NOT want to be in the same TOWN if a wife caught both her husband and ADULT son taking part of some intense "father/son bonding".....hell, no!

I DO know it indeed goes on; I've read a number of "factual" accounts on the 'net (no bullshit) where fathers and adult sons engaged in sexual relationships..................again, I guess it just boils down to the fact that "sex is sex", and, as long as those involved are of a legal age (and the encounters are consensual), well, I guess "primal instincts" simply rise to the surface, and no denying them...............

 

When you consider and understand that everyone is fair game until they prove themselves not to be, father and son might not really be about bonding but it's still just sex and, preferably, with consent... but methinks it stands to reason that if the two of them are careless and stupid enough for the wife to catch them at it, they deserve the hell that's coming their way. But now we might be getting into bi guys with daddy issues...

 

You and I BOTH know that it is nothing short of suicidal for a bisexual married man to get caught with ANY male (out of the family, in the family, whatever), only because the obvious precautions were not taken.

Family guys want to have fun with one another?

Sure thing, BUT do NOT flaunt it, and, most certainly,DON'T make the situation obvious, and ONLY engage in m/m sex where/when the wife is out-of-town, out for the day, etc., "playing" ONLY when the "battlefield" is clear.

Here again, think with your BRAIN and NOT with what you have between your legs..............

 

If a bisexual married male has ANY inkling that his wife would not be at all understanding about his sexuality, then, IF he is "playing the field" with his buddies, it is imperative that he MUST exercise ALL caution when seeking out male sex partners.

Again, simple common sense SHOULD dictate this.

As we've been discussing here, FAR too much is at stake (marriage, family, etc.), far too much is on the line to risk setting off a volatile, highly-explosive bomb that could wreak much havoc........

 

What it all boils down to, regarding bi males looking to get married, is to have your "inner radar" working full-tilt, when you are thinking about proposing to your girlfriend.

It certainly will save a lot of grief in the long run, for certain...............

 

Well said.

Anyone who is such a situation who refuses to take precautions against being "caught in the act" is nothing short of a total moron.

You KNOW full well what hell can transpire if you are, literally, "caught with your pants down".

WHY risk a total and complete family meltdown, when it can se so easily avoided?

Yeah, we both know how powerful the urge can get when you are horny as hell, and just want to "get down and dirty", but, for God's sakes, use DISCRETION.................

 

You asked why... then answered your own question. You can never, ever, underestimate the power of the urge to cut through familial bonds like the proverbial hot knife through butter. The thrill of it alone is enough to get the ball rolling because it's so taboo and forbidden; you immediately understand that if you get caught, more than all holy hell can descend upon father and son (or father-in-law with son-in-law but no incest being committed with this combo) so... let's not get caught. Maybe it's just one and done because the "what if" that might have caused this has now been dealt with... but if the sex was good - and let's say that dear old Dad hasn't been getting any from dear old Mom all that much - well, now, isn't this a damned exciting way to get one's rocks off? You bet anything you want to that it is and the pact is to not ever tell the wives about this.

You'd have to be very damned unlucky or very damned stupid to get caught in the act. What you understand that being related... is what it is. But you both have dicks and places to put them and while it's very damned taboo, it's not really all that gay, is it? Easy to ask "where's the harm" when you have no idea what the harm can be like... but a hard dick doesn't have a conscious, does it?

 

I hear you; a dick has no conscious (unlike "Pinocchio", who, BTW, had a "wood pecker", as well as a "conscious", in this case, one Jimminy Cricket"!)

I would imagine it has to be as hard as hell (pun not intended!) to be REALLY crazy-horny, while common sense is telling you, over and over: "Uh-uh, not NOW, pal!"

Here again, you have morals and common sense both waging an intense tug-of-war battle with your libido.......it's up to YOU to decide the outcome of said battle............

 

Morals and common sense don't always win the day and sometimes, you're not the one who gets to decide the outcome and especially the "come" part. You follow the rules and you don't get to have sex in a way that's said to be forbidden and a sin. You can resist the moment but then you're gonna be spending time wondering how things would have gone if you hadn't let morals and common sense rob you of a chance to bust a nut. But, no harm, no foul; I won't tell if you won't; it's not illegal unless you get caught. Is it worth the trouble? Not for me to say but that's yet another question to be answered and... maybe it is. Dick is hard and throbbing and it's been a long time and any warm mouth feels good...

 

And since I'm up (and I don't know why), if a guy has already "crossed the line" and has had sex with a guy, well, you're already "damned" so some guys can easily decide to "get their money's worth" and dive deeper into things. I mean, if one of my adult sons told me that he wanted to blow me, I'd look at him like he lost his mind and we're going to have a seriously long talk - but one I'd understand since I understand how such things can happen - and that they have happened but we shove it under the rug like we do with a lot of sexual things. To be more inline with the context of this thread, if you had a craving for Dad's cock - and if you happened to have some experience with it - it is something you want to tell a future fiancée? Or decide one day, "Honey? I need to tell you something..." and not only reveal your experience with cock but whose cock you had carnal knowledge of?

If your son-in-law offers to blow you and you accept - and you can pick any reason you care to for why you'd accept - do you get sucked off (and maybe suck him off because why not?) and turn right around and say to your wife, "Hey, you'll never guess what me and Steven did today!" and then tell her since unless she's rather sharp, she wouldn't guess in a million years. Common sense asks, "Why in the world would you say anything about this?" when you know a lot of shit will be hitting the fan - but guys often get caught up between not saying anything about getting some dick and telling her the truth since it never pays to lie to your fiancée/wife. It puts a guy squarely between a rock and a hard place, doesn't it? Unless the reason you agreed to this was because of a great lack of physical intimacy with your lady and, yes, even a fiancée will put the pussy on lockdown after you put a ring on it and you should never underestimate or discount what a man in such dire straits is capable of doing to fill the gap with what she's no longer doing for him.

Even stepping away from this familial kind of thing, I don't know how many guys I've run into over the years who have had true daddy issues, i.e., they wanted his cock and couldn't get it or... he did get it and stopped getting it and now these poor guys are really looking for a father figure to give them a dick to play with - and you gotta know there's a reason why guys call other guys "daddy" during sex. And if your son-in-law is secretly one of these guys and you're effectively "Dad," um, er, ah...

 

Do I feel bad about having sex with my now late son-in-law? Not in the least bit because of something I understood: He's not related to me by blood. I would have preferred he have his first experience with someone else, but this was also a trust issue for him and, honestly, I'm not a prude so... I took him to bed and sucked the shit out of his dick and made him cum while giving him a chance to acquire the taste (which he didn't do until the second time). He wanted to know and got his chance to find out and took to it like the proverbial duck to water but, yeah, like I said, he managed to fuck it up for both of us by being pushy and demanding and I don't play that shit.

I remember the day, years later, when he admitted that he fucked up the good thing we had; I thought he was going to ask if we could "start over" and if he had, I would have said... no, since once you fuck up with me, I'm not the forgiving type and not like I was way back in the day. Now, the question is had my wife not already known about this, would I have told her? Yes, I would have because I would have had to per the agreement we made so many years ago that opened our marriage: No secrets, no hiding stuff from each other, and if we have sex with someone - or we want to - we talk about it to make sure it's going to be in everyone's best interests. When I told her what we were up to, the only thing she asked me was, "Is his dick really that big?" and as reported by our daughter and I said, "Oh, yeah, he's got a big one but nothing I can't handle."

It suffices to say that some other woman wouldn't understand this one bit and if I was married to someone like that, um, I probably wouldn't mention it to her unless I didn't have a choice but to mention it and apologize for not being honest later (and whether she accepts the apology or not). I... understand stuff like this.

 

Your posts indeed spoke many, many, in-depth volumes, covering virtually all angles of this (how shall we say?) VERY sensitive scenario, one that indeed CAN be QUITE mind-blowing in the sex department, but, oh, Jesus, the toxic fallout that would destroy everything it touched, if such a "family" relationship were to be discovered.

One of the many things I find quite eye-opening about your candid and open comments regarding yourself and past experiences is the HONESTY.

Straight-forward, on-the-mark, no bullshit, no double-talk......too bad we don't see more of these qualities today from other men in similar situations.

Being "stuck between a rock and a hard place" is to be truly and totally immobile; you cannot go forwards, backwards, sideways.

And then, you are left thinking: "Where do I go from here?"

Yep, it CAN get pretty complex, for certain...............

 

This rabbit hole is seriously deep and, again, everyone is fair game if they want to be. Hell, you can't even have conversations like this with most women and it's just theory more than any kind of intent so, um, how are you going to tell her that when you were in college, you and your roommate were lovers? Or you come home from the gym and you just gotta tell her how being in the shower room with all those naked guys aroused you and that you couldn't keep from staring at their cocks and asses... and it's not the first time that happened?

Do you know if you could share a same-sex fantasy with her and without her thinking that you're actually going to make it happen or, worse, she accuses you of actually doing it behind her back? You see, this is a prime example of the "lie" she'll tell you when she says, "We can talk about anything, baby!" but you can't talk about this without her going medieval on you.