Bi men and aging

Excellent (as usual) commentary!!!!

 

I've spent decades trying to learn not only why men do what they do in this and what they do but also why they don't do a thing about it and when it becomes clear to them that they should and need to. So many guys "wait" until menopause or other girl stuff sidelines the wife/girlfriend and only now are they considering the exploration of sex with men and I often think that the reason they do is that they instinctively know that if they take up with another woman, at some point, they're going to wind up in the same situation so why not try sex with a guy - and how many guys have said, "Not tonight - I have a headache!"?

Not a one that I've been with. I've been with men who showed up kinda late to the party and their reaction to experiencing their first blowjob from a guy is precious and more so when they thought they knew what it was like to get their dick sucked... then I did it and... "You mean to tell me that I could have been doing stuff like this way before now? Why did I wait so long?"

Or the bachelor-type guys who spend most of their life chasing women for sex or a short-term relationship and, at some point, they start to wonder if there's anything other than chasing women and how hit and miss that can be. It's not like they don't know - I've said millions of times that there aren't too many men on the whole planet who doesn't know that guys have sex with each other - but social shit and all that "men do this and never do that" crap puts that possibility way down on their list of things to do or, as I've joked, getting with a guy is one of those "in case of emergency" things that guys never think they'll ever have to face... until they face it.

I mean, it's just a blowjob, right? This is where the shit gets interesting because they know it's just a blowjob but... gay men haven't done guys any favors, even in this because it is well known that gay men are consummate cocksuckers but if their situation calls for it, they're about to find out that gay dudes aren't the only guys who are consummate cocksuckers. So they let the social stigma fuck with their head, get them worried about someone finding out that they gave a dude their dick to suck, catching an STD, stranger danger, so on and all that rot and they park their ass on the bench and that's where they'll be and with their fantasies and beating their meat to porn - and where men are fucking and sucking and doing all kinds of shit to each other and in the name of busting a nut.

It's like what I've told many a guy who was on the fence about letting me suck his dick: I'm not going to tell anyone that it happened and if you're not going to tell, how is someone else going to find out? He knows that he wants me to suck his dick; I know it, too, and I've sat and watched them struggle with making a decision that isn't - and shouldn't - be that hard to make. And the guys who decided that, nah, maybe some other time tend to be so... iffy about this that "maybe some other time" winds up being decades away and if it ever shows up at all. Oh, I know of guys who have told me that, yeah, they should have let me blow them when the opportunity presented itself but they had reason not to but ever since, they've been bothered by the fact that they could have gotten a blowjob - and they need one now - but, I dunno, man, just still on the fence about it.

And that's fine. Stay on the fence and do what's going to be best for you; in the meantime, there are a lot of guys who want a guy like me to suck them off and if we're really friendly, they can fuck me; likewise there are even more men who would give damned near any- and everything to suck your dick and would "kill" to get you to bury your bone in them - and they are quite safe to be doing these things - and if guys are still saying, "Maybe some other time..." well, we know that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.

I've known women who found out that their guy was throwing it down with other guys and pitching all manner of bitches about it and I've found myself reminding them that if you don't take care of your man, someone else can and will... and it might be another guy. If your guy has to beg you for sex, let alone a blowjob, you're setting him up to make a decision that you're not going to like and he's not really going to like making it but in his mind, you've left him little to no choice and, besides - it's a guy thing and just like the ladies breaking each other off a nice piece is a girl thing - but this, too, is how our social conditioning program fucks everyone up in that things in a relationship have to get pretty fucking bad before it becomes clear to both of them that if you keep playing by the rules, you're assing yourselves out as well as a continued belief in what keeps proving itself to be pure, unadulterated bullshit and a fairy tale to end all fairy tales.

You can't get to "happily ever after" by removing sex as a part of that happiness and, yeah, guys can find it and... it's just sex although it could be more than that for some guys who need that emotional succor that a woman is no longer of a mind to provide them because she's got her own shit to be worried about.

I have said to some guys, "If not now, when? You keep saying that you want to do it and sometimes you're so horny that you have to do it but... you haven't done it and it really does make me wonder what you're afraid of." Which is a loaded statement because I know of a lot of the things a guy is afraid of... including being afraid that they're going to like it. These guys know for a fact that if they get to sucking dick with a guy, they're going to go off the reservation wanting to suck even more dick and I've been impressed that they know and understand themselves this well because most guys don't - but people with addictive personalities know that if they do this and they like it, there's no stopping the runaway train that just left the tracks.

I've sat and conversed and observed many a man and their struggles with doing something that's kinda simple: Pull your pants and underwear down and let me suck you off - you might think that you're going to regret it, but I can assure you that you won't - and all it means is you got sucked off. You don't have to return the favor if you can't or don't want to because this isn't about me - this is about you and the need that you have and you're trying to decide whether you should do this or not and you don't have to. And if you decide to pass, well, that's too bad - it could have been fun for the both of us and things could be as such as to ensure that this particular opportunity will not come knocking again - for either of us. You do what you gotta do and... I'm going to see if I can find another guy who wants a blowjob and who might be willing and interesting in giving one.

I understand why and how guys get into their 50s and 60s and only just now giving themselves permission to explore the possibilities; I understand why so many guys are trying to figure out how to ask their wife for permission - and then get it - so they can suck dick with their best friend - and a friend who is pretty much in the same boat in that he wants to find out if it's true that men suck cock better and he's horny and he could go ask his wife to blow him and at the risk of drawing her ire and now there are two men who need to do this and... they won't and I've heard almost every excuse for why they won't - and I'd never say that some of them aren't genuine concerns but some of them... aren't. Being worried about stuff that common sense already has the answer to, oh, like, if you're really afraid of catching an STD, um, that's what condoms are for. I can tell you that those fuckers do not taste good but it's better to acquire the taste of them if you want to ensure your safety in this, not that there's a great chance of you catching something in your mouth but, again, I've heard guys come up with the most interesting excuses for not doing something we both know he wants to do.

End of any day, it's not my problem; I'm into my sixth decade of being an active bisexual; been there, done that, own both the block I've spent time going around and the T-shirt factory that occupies that same block. It always comes down to this: What are you waiting for?

 

A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXCELLENT commentary, for certain.............thanks for taking the time (again!) to share your in-depth views, experiences, and opinions with us here!!

 

We learn by sharing what we've learned...

 

An EXCELLENT and TIMELY "life philosophy", for sure, indeed one to be remembered in many other areas, as well!

 

Regardless of our orientations, it wierd how some fellows can adhere the most unhealthy diets, and yet, even as they age, remain in pretty decent shape, health-wise.

Then there are those who adhere to a STRICLY "all-health" diet and excercise routines, and, yet, still end up suffering from serious health issues as they age.

Metabolism?

Genetics?

A fellow I once worked with many years ago would ONLY eat health foods, did not drink, and belonged to a gym.

Sadly, he passed away at age 54.

It HAD to have been due to the fact that, despite his being a die-hard "health nut", he went through at least a pack-and-a half a day.

Go figure.

What a waste.................

 

Genetics certainly has something to do with this; environmental conditions play into this as well. "Health nuts," it seems, die horrendous deaths while someone who never exercised since they were in elementary school lives to be 80+ and dealing with normal aging stuff.

I wouldn't say that 54-year-old passed away because he was a smoker; my grandparents were into their late 80s when they passed, and they smoked like chimneys, and they definitely weren't health nuts. An assumption like that happened when I was diagnosed with cancer and they were giving me shit about smoking being the cause... then the test results came back, and my cancer wasn't related to smoking at all. I quit but that's not the point: Never assume shit because I knew a lot of people who ate healthy, never smoked and... you can visit some of them in the cemetery or see the urn they now occupy.

And I'm not sure how you can be a health nut and a smoker, but stranger things have been known to happen. The thing is that the older we get, the more susceptible to ailments we become and no matter what we do to ward them off. When it's your time to go, it's your time to go and the state of your health may or may not be an issue. I've heard of joggers dropping dead from heart attacks or strokes and people who eat healthy and all that have more shit wrong with them than I do - and they're younger than I am.

 

KD23:

Great post/views, as always!

There was another guy I knew from work (then in his 40s); he was one of our supervisors.

Kept himself in GREAT shape (and had a smoking-hot butt to KILL for!), and, like the other fellow I mentioned, partook of ONLY heatlh foods, smoothies, etc., AND went to the gym at least three times a week.

BUT, like the other gent I worked with, he also was a VERY big smoker.

Lung cancer took him far too soon (he was only in his late 40s)

My dad (and his family) were ALL big-time smokers (my dad passed at age 73 from cancer, but not lung-related)

Both of my older brothers were "moderate" smokers in their younger years; they, later on, stopped altogether.

Myself, I never smoked, and never desired to (ditto with booze)

Again, genetics, I am quite sure, indeed play a HUGE role here (again, VERY glad you beat the "Big C"! It indeed pays to be a fighter!)

 

As my late and most revered mother used to say, "This getting old crap is for the birds!" And, as always, she was right. I have aches and pains in places I didn't know could have aches and pains; today, a stiff neck or back can have me hurting for days when back when I was younger and very fit, a stiff neck or back would only bother me for a couple of hours - I could shake them off like it was no big deal. Catch a cold? A couple of days, some NyQuil and a couple of Tylenol and I'd be good; today, a cold can have in bed for a week. Yeah, I could sneeze, and my dick would get and stay hard and now, well, I can get hard, but it might take maybe three sneezes and a cough.

If nothing else, you learn to appreciate being able to get older and especially if you knew people who didn't get a chance to grow older...

 

Your mother was indeed right!

My landlady once said:

".......the only thing 'golden' about the 'golden years' is the pee........."

Man, was she right on the mark!

Even when we were younger, things could happen out of the blue that would really knock you for a loop.

Example:

About 25 years ago, one Sunday morning, I once sneezed and (out of the blue) ended up with a herniated disc in my back; the only relief I found was when I was lying down.

I ended up missing at least six weeks of work, then came the MRIs, cat scans, you name it, plus several weeks of therapy.

I'm only glad that I didn't require surgery (which I would have refused, anyway), and (to date) never (thankfully!) ever had a repeat of this episode.

I shudder to think if this happened when I was in my 60s............

 

My mom had her back operated on when she was 82 (or was it 83?). Came through it with flying colors and after a bunch of doctors refused to operate because of her age. Her response to this was... colorful. That woman could make a sailor blush. If I needed surgery on my back or whatever, okay, let's get this done and over with so I can get to recovering so I can get back to raising hell and enjoying the rest of my life...

 

My dad's family (Italian) couldn't survive (as Mom often said) without booze, cigarettes, and the rapid-fire use of four letter words (aunts [and parakeet!] included!)

The raunchiest language of any trucker (or, for that matter, sailor) couldn't compare to this family's vocabulary (my two aunts, in particular, were MORE than "colorful")

Sadly, the last several years of Mom's life (she had just turned 99) had her "room bound" I was her sole caretaker (also, last surviving son)

She HATED the idea of being an invalid; she, many years ago once said: "I'd rather wear out than rust out!"

None of us, of course, have any control over our ultimate destinies.....all we can do is to take things just one day at a time, and try to keep ourselves in control of our daily lives.

Dang, it seems like just yesterday I hit 30; I'll be 70 in 2027.....ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

One thing that ALL seniors must fave (especially those on fixed incomes) is the ever-increasing prices of medical insurance.

In this day and age, it is nothing short of SHAMEFUL when you have seniors (including veterans) who cannot afford decent medical care because of the ever-rising costs.

These people deserve FAR better (the last few years of Mom's life, believe me, I had to fight tooth and nail, to make sure Mom at least had SOME decent medical plan)

As if getting older isn't difficult enough.............older folks deserve BETTER..........

 

Insurance has always been a problem for those who don't have it or, if on Social Security, by the time they deduct the cost of Parts A and B, there's really not a lot of money left for them to live on, let alone enough money for any supplemental coverage, i.e., Parts C and/or D. I read stuff about the average SS check and... that average check wouldn't pay my rent so I couldn't imagine what it would be like for someone getting the average amount - but that's one of those things that, when we're young, we probably don't think about because it's our choice of jobs/career that will ultimately determine what our Social Security check is going to look like and being able to save as much money as possible on the side as well.

I don't pay for my Part D insurance; that cost somehow got rolled up into what I pay for Parts A and B - and that was less than what I was paying for it in 2023 but not by a whole lot but any cost savings you can get always works. I don't pay to see my PCP or my vascular surgeon who, for some reason or another, is listed as a co-PCP - and I'm not going to argue about that because it saves me a $35 co-pay and like I have to pay when I see my oncologist/radiology oncologist and it's a serious blessing since an office visit with either of them is over $1,600! I don't pay for my medications - I get them sent in the mail - so that saves quite a bit of money and not counting how much it costs to put gas in the car to go to an outside pharmacy.

It just is what it is; politicians are always promising to stop the gouging that's always been going on between businesses and consumers and it's been my thought that many, many businesses are still trying to recover the deficits in their bottom lines that came when COVID-19 came along and fucked shit up for everyone - and especially people who had to work. The best insurance is the insurance you never have to use although it's rather galling to be paying ridiculous prices for something that you might not use but it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it - a classic Catch-22.

In the end, it always comes down to what one deserves not being the same thing as what one can afford...

 

KD23:

RIGHT on the mark, here!

Just because you might DESERVE something, DOES NOT always mean getting WHAT you DESERVE with WHAT you can AFFORD.

Yes, it can all get quite convoluted, for sure, and I certainly cannot make out any of it; nothing in simple "layman's" terms for the "average" person to easily decipher ...........

 

It's rather a shame that an entire thread can't be given an enthusiastic "like".

A big thumbs-up to this thread and all its contributors.

 

This has always been. This will always be.

 

Being male, bisexual, and aging is... just a part of life. Different from being male, homosexual, and aging because, duh, bisexuality and homosexuality are not the same things and, in some quarters, the lines we've drawn between the two sexualities are starting to blur and in a way that just might change the terminology we've been using over all of this time. Even as we keep futzing with all this social stuff, we're getting older and as you age, you learn to improvise and adapt to the changes you're going through and, yeah, that includes how you have sex... and who you might be having it with.

 

Well said, KDaddy23.

 

As I have often said, getting old sucks, but it sure beats the alternative. As I have gotten older I care less and less about what people think or say about me, except for the wife of course. She keeps me from going to far off from normal. As long as my clothes are clean, I don't care if the shirt is plaid and the pants checkered. Now if the wife is around she will make me change but as far as myself, I just don't give a rat's ass. Don't like the way my hair, what little I have left, looks, take me to your hair stylist and pay for them to make it look good.

Life is too short to sweat the shit that doesn't matter. I'm 72 and figure I will probably live, if I'm lucky, another 20 years. 10 years after I die, no one will remember about the way I looked, unless it's too chuckle. They will remember how I was devoted to my family, gave to others in need and how I loved filling boxes for Operation Christmas Child.

What can I say. Growing up living with my mom as a single parent, who did not even have a high school diploma, Christmas was a very special time. I still have the teddy bear that was the only present I got one year. He sits on a place of honor on a shelf in my bedroom where I see him in the morning when I get up and at night when I go to bed. He reminds me of my past and that there is always someone who could use a little help. Do what makes you happy and ignore the naysayers.

Now to the original questions.

I prefer men near my age simply because we can relate to each other better. I can start singing a song and they know it. We can talk about how politics has changed. Remember president Kennedy saying "ask not what your country can do for you, put what you can do for your country ". The Democrats have changed their position completely. I hate what my party has become. If your under 40 you're probably asking president who? We are both slower than when we were in our 30's but it's no big deal. May take us longer to get hard, but that just means we pleasure each other longer. We are less into how the other person looks.

Now that is not to say I wouldn't have sex with some 20 something guy, but it would probably be a one off. There is just no connection. So as long as I can find a boyfriend about my age that's what I'll keep doing.