Would you cheat with a married woman?

The word "cheat" assumes that the parties involved are not allowed by their spouse to seek pleasure outside of their marriage. Some may feel they are cheating, whereas some are doing what comes naturally.

Remember, this thread is in the "Free Love" category of this forum, not the Victorian lifestyle category.

 

A wife that cheats on her husband is neglected, give her what she is seeking and never look back.

 

Well said sex starved wife, there is three that I had sex with and one when her husband watched

 

I travel a lot and thus more than a few one night stands and generally don’t ask those questions.

 

I joined Hip Forums just so I could finally post specifically about this topic, ie, "Would you cheat with a married woman?"

The short story: I don't know if I ever could.

The longer story (I have to change some details cuz ya never know): We (me, her, and her husband) met at an establishment that helps the needy population maybe about 10 or so years ago. By the way, I'm single and not in any committed relationship.

Her and I have come to really get to know each other. We definitely consider each other as pretty good friends.

We have spoken about lot's of things, including those that were sufficiently personal. For the most part, we have good, clean, fun conversations. She already knows that I steer very clear of women who are attached/married bc I don't want to have a relationship solely about sex. Worse, I don't need to get into a fight with the Mister because his wife wants to kick it with some other dude.

OK, let me get to the point already. Trust me, I've never thought or looked at her in a sexual manner. No doubt, she is (to me) very good looking. She has never behaved inappropriately with me, ie, we don't flirt with each other nor make sexual innuendoes. But....maybe about a year ago I began fantasizing about...well...licking her sex to put it nicely (oh man, it's hard to contain myself). It's just me doing that to her and not expecting or wanting her to touch me sexually in any way, before, during, or after. I'm shocked, and quite embarrassed, at myself for having such thoughts for a married woman.

I've thought about telling her my fantasy. But that's dangerous given that she knows that I don't muck around with married women. She might think I'm getting weird on her. She may get insulted or withdraw from me. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

AhhhHHH! I hope this fantasy passes is all I could say.

Feel free to respond.

Thank you for reading this reply.

 

I'll bet the Victorians were pretty free-spirited behind closed doors!

Anyway, I totally agree with Dan Savage's take that "cheating" is usually better than the things that could happen otherwise.

Marriage virtually always begins with a promise (explicit or implicit) for a lifetime of sex. But all too often one partner will abandon that promise and it becomes a sexless marriage. Isn't that a sort of cheating? It's cheating the spouse who still wants sex and was promised that the sex would be there.

The same dynamic applies when one spouse needs to try bisexuality. Closing the door on that cheats them from a chance to be their most authentic self.

Who am I to judge anybody for cheating? I don't know what brought them to that point.

Could I cheat with married women? Yes.

Have I cheated with married women? Yes.

And with married men.

 

Reverse cheating is what I refer to as this. One partner is cheated out of the intimacy that marriage is supposed to bring. I said it before, I'll say it again. A FB I had years ago was married. She was great fun in the bed. I didn't "cheat" as my spouse and I have an agreement. But without it I still would go ahead and enjoy a married woman just as much as if she wasn't attached. The benefit is she will be less likely to get attached to me deep enough to leave her marriage.

 

Marriage is one of the only contracts where the fine print is usually NOT explicit.

 

In my experience, fantasies do go away...years down the road. They usually tend to grow. But...your mileage may vary.

I'm not saying you're wrong for your self-restricton, but why stay away from married women?

Although... regarding this particular married woman, nothing you said gives even a slight indication that she's open to it. So STFU about your thoughts of her, and masturbate.

 

My first wife insisted on us opening up our marriage so she could get involved with other people, which left the door open for me to do the same. As such, I've had a lot of sex with a lot of married women and under the "If you have permission, it isn't cheating" rule. I'm in the same zone with my second wife and at this point in her life, she doesn't much care who I have sex with as long as it isn't her even though she does get "occasional urges" to give me a blowjob.

From the beginning, I had to understand that being married does not really mean that you're not fair game; indeed, a week after I got married the first time, I had women who I wanted to fuck but they wouldn't give me the time of day now wanting to fuck me and... what the hell? Being married does not really mean that you're not going to lust after someone you're not married to or have feelings for them. If you're married and you aren't being "taken care of," you're not supposed to do anything about it except maybe beg your partner to do their duty but if they don't, well, guess what might happen?

Just because you're married doesn't mean that you stop having needs that are physical, emotional, or both and the rule has always been that if you don't take care of your man/woman, someone else can and will. I have to say that with any married woman that I've had sex with, I got lucky to be in the right place at the right time and I've been of a mind to approach this as, "Okay, if you want to, we can... as long as we're both willing to accept the consequences of our actions."

There are and have been married women that I've lusted after like you might not believe but I'm never going to chase after them - but if given the chance, hell, yeah, let's do it...

 

I think you may have misunderstood me. I was trying to say that you should STFU when it comes to telling the woman. And you should. You should not censor yourself here. Forums like this are a resource for navigating through sex dilemmas.

I apologize for not making it clearer.

However, based on your reaction, she will definitely be better off if you never involve her.

 

Lighten up !

 

I’ve never been in this kind of situation before so I can’t say as to whether I would or would not.

 

I travel a lot on business and have had many one night stands. Some married some not does not come up in conversation.
Most of them are staff at hotels I stay at. Not all but a good few. They are out for some fun and see you as passing through.
Sometimes it is one you meet in the bar, who after some chit chat know what they want and you are the one.So I never turn
a lady down.

 

No

 

Even though we are in a consenual non monogamous marriage my answer is a hard “No”.
Yes, My wife and I do play with other “couples”, but everyone is open with each other. We don’t do secret or cheating play period.

 

I have and looking back, it was crazy.

She was 12 years younger than me and married to the stereotypical redneck asshole who treated her like a possession. She was from a small town but was college educated and tired of making all the money while he hunted and drank with his buddies.

She’d also never had an orgasm that she didn’t provide herself and he had no idea of that fact or that it even mattered. If I didn’t fuck her someone else would have and possibly did.

She bartended at a local… very local restaurant and asked me to come in one night. Her husband was at the bar doing his thing and she was waiting tables here and there.

She repeatedly came to my table, acting like I was a stranger and would discreetly tell me that I was still dripping out of her ass and how exciting that was knowing that he was sitting right there.

Of course, after he’d left to go pass out somewhere she came back to my hotel for another round.

I remember her first orgasm like it was yesterday. It was like the sun came up and exploded all over me. I can still smell her perfume.

 

Wonderful! She deserved it!! ;-)

 

I haven't but there have been a few women, through work, that have presented me with the opportunity. One much older married lady in particular and I developed a very close friendship. We would spend several hours a week talking over lunch and there was a definite chemistry between us. She would regularly touch me on the arm or hand, allowing her touch to linger long enough to know that it wasn't accidental. She, on several occasions, would grab my bum and even once grabbed my crotch when we were alone in the office kitchen. We almost kissed several times. I have since left that job and cut contact with her. she has tried to call numerous times and occasionally still messages wanting a relationship, I love my wife and she'd be fine with occasional sex but not a relationship.
Still, if she turned up on my doorstep I'd probably fuck the living daylights out of her.

 

I never intended to cheat on my wife or another man's wife. But we were both in unhappy, but still very sexually active marriages. When I saw her, on a subway in Tokyo, I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

My friend was an officer in the Navy stationed at Yokohama. I was a Securities Analyst covering the Tokyo Market in Tokyo. My first wife was Japanese and a school teacher in Osaka. But we saw each other on the weekends. My friend had come to Tokyo to stay overnight at my place. He brought a friend who wanted to meet Japanese girls. So we went to a disco and I would pick up girls for his friend to dance with, while my friend and I sat and drank and got caught up. His friend didn't speak Japanese so pretty soon he would back to the table and I'd pick up another girl. Being married, I had forgotten how easy it was to pick up girls in Japan.

By the time we left, I was a bit tipsy, and we hopped on the last subway home. That's when I saw her. Damn! She was hot! My friend and I tried to figure out where she came from as she didn't really look like a Japanese. Then my friend told me, 'I think she wants you to sit next to her!' I wasn't sure but then a seat opened up next to her, and she eyed it and looked at me. I was tipsy and I decided there was no way I was going to introduce this girl to my friend's friend. As a part of me was reminding myself that I'm married, I went over to her, and asked where she was from. She jokingly said Echiopia (Ethiopia in Japanese). We talked for a little bit until she got off at her stop. I gave her my name card. Later I found out she was actually from the Philippines.

A few days later she called me up and asked if I'd like to meet her. I immediately called my friend, and he said, "Wow, that's just like in the movies!"

We met a few times, and she told me she would let me kiss her if I shaved off my mustache. So I did. We met that night and in the elevator going up to a nice Indian Restaurant, she quickly grabbed me and gave me a real fast kiss. She wouldn't let me kiss her again that night. My impression of that was one of those big hooks that would yank people off the stage in the old vaudeville acts, and I was hooked. No escape.

We dated for sometime, and did a lot of very passionate kissing on the dance floor, in the taxis, there was a lot of sexual tension, and I could tell that she was very turned on by our passionate making out. I knew she was going home each time to have sex with her husband. I too would think of her while having sex with my wife. Finally she said I could have her on her birthday, but she got too drunk and so I took her home. The next time we met, she came to my place, and we made love all night long.

We had an incredibly intense affair for several years. She was so hot and sexy. I would hold her and get her sweat on me and in my clothes, and her sweat smelled an awful lot like her pussy----the best tasting one I have ever had in my life. I would get turned on just smelling my shirt sleeve, or my collar where she had held on to me on a crowded Tokyo subway.

Today she is my wife, and we have had a lifetime of adventures together, and many more to come.