Pride celebrations: Your thoughts?

....just thinking out loud, I guess..................

 

Best to think good thoughts!

 

I guess we'll always have bigots. We have to watch out how loud they (seem to) talk. Best if sensible people drown their noise out.

 

Good advice!

 

My late mother used to say:

".....empty tin cans make the most noise".................

 

I'm a masculine guy who has identified as gay since Covid (bi before). I belong to a huge gay men's social group that have two weekly meetups and other events, and I can say that most of the guys are masculine to varying degrees: some may be softer and quieter, but still masculine, just like in the straight community. But there are some that are quite effeminate and leaning to more flamboyance, but I love them as much as I love the more masculine guys. Even my sexual attraction has quite a broad range, from effeminate young twinks to more hairy, masculine and mature men, all depending upon the guy, his beauty, and his personality and mind. I've enjoyed sex with all types throughout the decades. As for the men in this group, they are a great group of guys, and "my people". Even though I live in a smaller, less urban community, I think these guys are representative of the gay world everywhere--guys just looking like regular guys for the most part. This is probably even more so in the bi community--just mostly masculine men who love to have oral and possibly anal sex with other masculine men.

But I think @thepapasmurph is right: when you've had to deal with homophobia in one form or another all your life, and battling yourself over your own sexuality because of internalized homophobia, you build up a lot of anger and resentment against the straight community. Add on top of that your finally breaking through and coming out to yourself, and then to others, therefore makes you really want to celebrate your sexuality. So it's not surprising that so many gays act out when an opportunity like gay pride events come along, especially the parades.

When I finally realized in 2020 that all along I've been mostly homosexual--that I am a homosexual man!!--I loved so much about how gay I was and felt really proud of it. It's finally acknowledging your truth. It is such a freeing experience. Even though I haven't yet been to a gay pride parade, like the huge one that happens in nearby Toronto, I can see myself at one going a little crazy, over the top, flamboyant--maybe. By the way, most of the gay men in this large group (I've met in the last 4 years over 100 guys in this group in total so far) hate the crazy gay pride stuff in Toronto: it's just too much for them they say.

I did finally attend, with about 10 or 15 of my gay friends, a "gay pride in the park" event in the "big" city in our region, population 150,000, my first public outing. Even though I'm only out of the closet to a few close straight friends, I felt happy and proud to be wearing my gay colours in public. But it was quite a subdued event, with just many different organizations having booths, selling things, or promoting things, and some drag shows and singing, instead of a huge celebratory party. But it's an annual event that attracts the general public, especially heterosexual families, to share festivities and solidarity with the LGBTQ community.

But part of me does feel a little sad about the gay stereotypes, that we only encourage through our actions in gay pride parades, and all the overemphasized drag stuff--which, by the way, is just a tiny tiny tiny minority of the gay community, but the unfortunate face of male homosexuality. I'm not happy about that, and absolutely not attracted to whatsoever: my personal homosexuality is all about rejecting women for Christ's sake. But I still have to show tolerance to every display that any individual gay man would like to make in celebration of his victory over homophobia. One more by the way, then I'll shut up: the vast majority of people that attend drag shows are straight women. So it's not surprising that most gay men don't go. The big parades also bring out the nudity and even inappropriate public sexual acts, again feeding the stereotype of the over-sexed gay man and his promiscuity, but all as part of the same personal acting-out celebration that I was talking about.

In one way you can say that all this acting out is a good way to transform that lifelong anger against homophobia.

 

Excellent commentary, my friend.....thanks for taking the time to share all this here with friends!

Keep on keepin' on!

 

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't celebrate my bisexuality since it's a part of me and has been for just over six decades. I might not go to the parades and other PRIDE functions but I celebrate anyway because any day that I'm alive is a good time to celebrate life and my bisexuality is, again, an integral part of me and just as normal to me as breathing is. I've never regretted becoming bisexual because of the sex I've had but, importantly, the things bisexuality taught me along the way about life, sex, and the people I can encounter, both male and female and, yes, even transgendered.

 

KD23:

An EXCELLENT "life philosophy" for sure; celebrate your identity EVERY day of your life!

After all, this what defines WHO you are!

 

I am bisexual but I define how I am and my sexuality only "defines" a part of the whole. I am a lot of things that are more than just my bisexuality alone. I tell people, "Just because I'm bisexual, don't get to thinking that you know me... because you don't and you only know that part of me..."

 

KD23:

Well said!

Indeed, we are ALL more than our sexuality (as important as it is); and, just ike the old saying goes, "Don't judge a book by its cover".............

 

....if a man cannot exhibit pride in himself, than how can he expect others to regard him him with respect?

 

Methinks the mindset is that if you do not respect yourself, you cannot expect anyone else to respect you. By definition, pride isa feeling of deep satisfaction or confidence that comes from your own achievements, the achievements of people close to you, or qualities you value in yourself or your group.

There are, apparently, two major "flavors" of pride. There's "healthy pride," the constructive kind where confidence is grounded in real effort or ability, a sense of dignity or self-respect, or the motivation to maintain high standards.

The other "flavor is "excessive or arrogant pride," the cautionary version of an inflated sense of self-importance, a refusal to admit mistakes, and looking down on others.

There is, of course, LGBTQ+ Pride, pride in one's culture, community or heritage, and the shared pride in a team, nation, or accomplishment.

LGBTQ+ Pride is being defined as a movement and celebration centered on dignity, visibility, and equality.

I would think that if you don't have pride in yourself, well, maybe you need to work on that; others may or may not be proud of you and that's depending on some shit but I think that, in this context, pride is like confidence in that if you lack either of these things, you're pretty much fucked with no grease.

 

KD23:

As usual, your "common sense" approach to life speaks many volumes!

Pride in ourselves is a far more important commodity (regardless of orientation) than many realize.........

 

It must be remembered that words have power...

 

Could NOT agree more.

Words have far more power than most realize; they have the power to express great things profoundly, as well as being able to destroy and humiliate.

Words indeed have power.....make positive use of them...........

 

Pap:

Once again, THANK YOU for sharing with your friends here so many of the personal challenges you've faced....and BEATEN....during your life.

For most gay men, indeed, we grow up wondering WHY we were not "born normal",or "on the right side of the fence".

So much gut-wrenching inner turmoil, pain, and soul-searching; the loneliness and feeling of total isolation, indeed, can often be QUITE crippling and frightening.....trust me, I know ALL too well.

Somehow, we discover an inner reserve of strength, courage, and dignity. that we did not know was residing deep within us, ready to be tapped into.

Pride in WHO we ARE, indeed, makes ALL the difference in the world, my friend.....