Here's a little something i just finished writing, i thought you fine folks would enjoy it. Nuke the Moon (and other ramblings) By Ochs It seems we have a problem here. Ted Kennedy has been yelling something about leaving Iraq lately, but no one is taking him too seriously. I guess we would need some sort of “exit strategy” first. Of course, if we were to go ahead with an all out withdrawal there would be an instant civil war, and Iraq would become even more of a haven for terrorism. But as I said, no one in taking the idea very seriously. None of the above has anything to do with why though(What, did you think America cared about thewelfare of foreigners?). If we were to just pack up and leave, there wouldn’t be anybody left to protect Halliburton. An Iraq without American industry sounds pretty un-patriot-like to me. So how did we get into this little quagmire again? Let’s step back in time. After 9-11, Afghanistan was first on the hit list. Other than a whole lot of opium there was nothing that valuable there once the job was done, but it did make a nice place for an oil pipeline. Next to go was Iraq, an easy sell with a celebrity dictator in charge. Saddam is a household name, kind of like “LittleDebbie”. Just in case you were still left wondering whether it was O.K. to violate international law and commit the war crime of a preemptive attack against another sovereign state, we were convinced of WMDs sitting around in Saddam’s palaces with buy one get one free deals for terrorists. So we blew up another country. If you had surround sound and CNN it made for an interesting alternative to “Friends”, and all guilt free since so many oppressed civilians were getting bored waiting for us. The mission was accomplished in short order, and the horde of fearless-yet-well-paid American contractors stormed the gates. According to some analysts, Iraq is the most oil-rich country in the world. Others say its Iran. Which brings us to our next item of interest.... Dick Cheaney recently hinted at letting Israel poke at Iran with a long, pointy stick and using our military to clean up the mess. As brilliant as that sounds, Israel has enough on it’s plate and I doubt they’ll be too terribly interested. So we will end up doing the job ourselves. It’s another easy sell. Iran is a country run by mean old guys in big black cloaks who don’t let women vote and stuff. Oh, and get this: they are building nukes. As usual, it’s up to us to stop the madness, and we had better do it before a democrat finds himself in someplace important, right? Not really, but we will. The fact is that even if we had elected John Kerry the foreign policy situation wouldn't be any different. We won’t leave the Mideast because we can’t, and we’re about to get a whole lot more involved because we have to. Now why would we do a crazy thing like that? Aren't there plenty of nasty dictators to spread freedom to elsewhere? Sure, but as far as imperialists go,the Mideast is the Florida beach front property of places to invade. If we wanted to, we could knock off 3 or 4 dictators a year, but we can’t afford tokeep their countries in order after their gone. So we have to spend wisely. We will also have to spend quickly, because we aren’t the only nation interested. Anyone who’s still not worried about the draft should take a look at China. China is very busy making itself a first rate country. In a first rate country, everyone drives a car, maybe two. Picture a billion plus chinese owning cars. They will need more oil to be a superpower. History has shown us that there can’t be more than one superpower without excessive political tension. Excessive tension inevitably leads to conflict. What better place is there for breeding conflict than the Middle East? Conflict between the U.S.A. and China is simply not going to happen without everyone else choosing sides. Conflict between nuclear powers is generally considered to be unhealthy. As depressing as all that was, here comes the good news. I’ve got a plan to avoid a nuclear war. Since it’s going to be pretty hard to convince world leaders that being number one isn’t really worth killing anyone, the least we can do is work toward disarmament. No one’s tried that route for a while now, but it’s a tough job, I will admit. We do have quite a few nuclear warheads as it is, enough to destroy all life on earth a few times over, and it seems they aren't recyclable or even fit for the dump. So we would have to bury them under a mountain somewhere. Mountain dwellers don't like the idea because radiation poisoning would really just re-enforce the “Deliverance” appearance stereotype. Besides, with no nukes we lose out on the whole “Mutually Assured Destruction” safeguard that tells us that as long as we can’t instantly blow each other into oblivion, we are more likely to fight. As fun as that sounds,it might not be the best philosophy for ensuring peace once you lose it. That being said, there are quite a few advantages for disarming. For starters, it’s kind of odd tell Iran to knock off their nuclear program while they face the threat of war with the biggest nuclear power of all, us. Not much incentive there. It’s times like these that make “Mutually Assured Destruction” seem a bit misguided. It is also interesting to note that nukes have something of a “use by” date. Once that passes their gonna have to do something with them anyway. And then make some replacements. Not cheap,fellow taxpayers. So here’s the plan: Nuke the Moon. Let me explain. The moon is not doing us much good as it stands now. Nobody owns it. There could be a world wide agreement to point all the weapons of mass destruction at the moon and fire away. If the U.S. leads this project it is possible, because we have most of the goods anyway. It could be done on the 4th of July, with a bunch of solar eclipse glasses distributed for free via the postal service. A lot of people don't want to see the nukes go quietly, and a lot more just don't want to see them anymore. Nuking the moon could provide equal satisfaction. And since we have enough ordinance to wipe earth clean several times, just think what a nice reminder a charred and blackened orb in the sky could be of what happens when technology outgrows humanity. *END* And there you have it. My solution. Tell me what you think.
Actually, launching every nuclear weapon in the world at the moon wouldn't change its appearance from earth at all. To really be effective, you need to bury the nukes hundreds of miles under the surface of the moon and THEN detonate them.
Theoretically one could fire the nukes into the parts of the moon that are like a sea of dust. There are parts where the ground is more slippery than quicksand. We could easily make a micky mouse head.
The moon is VERY important to us! It regulates tides, weather patterns, air & water current, etc, by its gravitational pull.
Yeah, but nuking it wouldn't blow the thing up like Alderaan in Star Wars. It would just pockmark and crater the thing.
--Man that would be REALLY fukkt up. -Havin our moon all pockmarked and cratered up! -Now that would REALLY piss me off!
hmmm, maybe so . . . I am by no means a nuclear OR astronomy expert, but with the lack of atmospheric pressure on the moon, seems to me it very well could blow up, especiall if EVERY nuclear weapon on earth was aimed at it but like I said, I don't really know, only speculating.
acctually thr gravitatiolal force of the moon has very little to do [or anything] to do with those, cause the force of gravitly is very VERY small
we wouldn't vaporice it or do any damage beyond kicking up dust, that is the way explosions work, not to mention the way the "charges are loaded" in a nuke
Tidal forces originate from the marginal difference in the moon's gravitation pull from one side of the earth to the other. The side of the earth facing the moon is affected by the moon's gravity more than the side of the earth opposite the moon. While the overall force of gravity from the moon is small compared to that of the sun, the marginal difference is much greater from the moon than from the sun.
