How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to do it, and two to relate to the experience.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to do it, and two to stand around and say how much better Jerry could have done it.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but he/she has to save up for a week to buy a $20 energy efficent lightbulb.

How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they wait for it to burn out and then follow it around for 30 years.

How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb? Deadheads don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in sleeping bags.

 

stick to yer day job man.

 

The last one was hilarious.

 

HAHAHAHAhahahahaaa!!

 

i liked the penultimate one..

 

How do you starve a hippy?


hide his food stamps under his work boots!

(or under the bar of soap)

 

how do you know a hippy/deadhead has been at your house?
hes still there

How do you tell if Rainbows have been staying at your house?
- They're still there, and the dishes are done!

How do you tell if Drainbows have been staying at your house?
- They are still there, the dishes AREN'T done, and your stash is GONE!

How do you know that hippies have been in your house?
- Your refrigerator is empty.
- All your faucet screens are missing.
- Your daughter is pregnant.
- The last you saw of your dog he was chasing a VW bus down the road?

How can you tell if a Rainbow is crashing at your house?
- The peanut butter jar has finger prints inside, the dumpster shows signs of a recent dive, and HE'S STILL THERE...

How can you tell when the crashing Rainbow is getting ready to leave?
- The phone bill comes

What's the difference between a Rainbow and a Dead Head
- A Rainbow will give the shirt off his back,
and a Dead Head will sell you somebody else's for $25, two for $40.

What's the difference between a Rainbow and a Gutter Punk?
- Fuck You!!!

What do you do if you're ever lost in the woods?
- Stop and make a fire, and a pot of coffee, and ten Rainbows will show up to tell you how you did it wrong. (And to drink the coffee, of course.)

Why did all the hippies move to Eugene Oregon?
- There's no work there.

Where's the best place to hide your stash in a hippie household?
- In your work boots.

Where's the best place to hide your money in a hippie household?
- Under the soap.

How can you tell if a hippie broke up with his girlfriend?
- He's homeless.

How can you tell if a hippie broke up with her boyfriend?
- She's homeless & pregnant.

What does a Deadhead say when he runs out of acid?
- "This band suuuuuucks!"

How are Rainbow coffee & Rainbow cigarettes the same?
- "Ptooh! Thpth! Sptt!"

How many Deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?
- 10,001 - 1 to take out the old bulb & 100,000 to follow it around for years after it burned out.

How many Rainbows does it take to screw in a ligh tbulb?
- (from a first time gatherer) Rainbows don't need light bulbs. They ARE the light!
- (from a Deadhead) Rainbows don't screw in light bulbs, silly. They screw in SLEEPING BAGS!
- (from a veteran gatherer) Well... it takes about a hundred to council, three or four to be left the next morning after it's been going non-stop all night, and one guy to get pissed and just go do it before anyone finds out and tries to stop him.

Why did the Rainbow cross the road?
- He saw several people on the other side standing in a circle and coughing.

Why are so many Rainbows named after bears?
- They both eat honey,
- they both give hugs,
- and they both shit in the woods.

How many drainbows does it take to watch a fire go out:
- All of them

How do you get a one-armed hippie out of a tree?
- You pass him a joint.

Why did the pothead cross the road?
- Who else would follow a chicken?

How do you tell the leaders at a Rainbow Gathering?

1. They write things down.
2. They come up to law enforcement officers and say, "How can I help?".
3. Forest Rangers know them enough to say, "How's it goin'?"
4. They show up with either a school bus or a teepee.
5. If they like you, they invite you inside their schoolbus or their teepee.
6. Other leaders let them come in behind the bliss rail and sit down.
7. They never have to go around and say, "Dose me".
8. They have copies of the Rainbow Guide and All Ways Free that are more than five years old.
9. They frequently say, "I remember when we didn't use to have all this..."
10. They haven't had to dig a shitter for several years.
11. They carry an elaborate hand crafted walking stick, and they have a tin cup hanging from their belt or stick, tied with a piece of rope.
12. They frequently talk about "spirit".

TOP TEN REASONS HIPPIES go to the woods, TAKE off their clothes & LEAVE THEM

10. They thought the clean up crew needed more clothes.
9. They thought if the clean up crew didn't want them, the bears might.
8. They figured the maid was waiting till the party was over to clean up.
7. They believed it when someone called them a 'dirty hippie' and decided they'd better get some clean clothes from the 'freebie' pile & leave the dirty behind.
6. They thought when they heard folks talk of "the mother" that she'd take care of it.
5. They're really into the simple life and figure the rains will wash the clothes, the air will dry them, the sun will bleach them and since the clothes were all natural fibers, they'd just become compost if no one wanted them.
4. They have never worked clean up and don't know how to clean up after themselves.
3. They outgrew them.
2. They took them off in the dark and couldn't find them later cause they lost their flashlight

and the number one reason hippies leave their clothes in the woods is...

1. Because they can and they don't know any better.

Top Ten Reasons Why the Rainbow Gathering has been Canceled

10. Everyone heard what was happening in alt.gathering.rainbow and got disgusted with anything rainbow.
9. The Forest Service requires a permit, which would compromise our right to gather, so the leaders have decided not to gather anymore.
8. Why bother ? The world is coming to an end soon anyway, so forget all this back to the earth crap.
7. It would offend someone somewhere. We don't know who, but let's not risk it.
6. Lack of interest. The federal government has declared there are no more hippies.
5. All donations of green energy have disappeared. Literally- every dollar in every pocket has just vanished. No Green, no gathering.
4. The scouting/clean up crew has been holed up with all the donations in a motel drinking beer for a month. You don't like it ? Too bad.
3. All possible gathering sites have been set aside as "National Dirt Bike Proving Grounds."
2. A 60 Minutes investigation has discovered that the so called Rainbow Gatherings are really a front for Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart wanted to build malls in the forest, and the hippies were being used as free scouts.
1. President Bush has come out of the closet, and proudly announced he is a "hippie"

 

you've been wanting to do that for too long

 

*

 

it all started so innocently.....and got a little out of control!

started my day right tho, so thank you forums, for being there

 

haha..

 

shit,dropped the damn lightbulb.eer hold my bong

 

how many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? two, one to notice and the other to take bong hits until the room spins

 

ive got one:

how many people does it take to stereotype hippies? Just one.




...yeah, that's right, i went there