Ive realised i cant handle being on my own. i actually cant handle it. As soon as im alone i feel depressed and ill. I cant eat, and i have no motivation to do anything. I get anxiety and then even when as opotunity to get out comes up i freak out and dont want to move... yet dont want to stay where i am. I hate this feeling, i dont want to be on my own. I feel like crying right now... its horrible.
I've never been keen on it either. I've always functioned better in the company of others. I'm not a massive socialite, but I don't like being solitary. I've always found it odd when people talk about being independent as though it's a good thing. Human's are a social species - we're tribal. There's even a good chance that we're genetically pre-disposed towards long-term relationships. Why the fuck would we want to go solo? On the other hand, not being able to survive your own company for short periods is not a good thing. Doesn't sound like you're in a healthy space. Have you tried reading? I always found that helped when I was feeling lonely.
so far ive been alone... in my building for a few hours... and im crying and freaking out. Its cos i know everyones so far away and i have no escape from here. The thing is i make it worse by freaking out if im with large groups of people too.
Ahhh, bullshit. You've only gotta ask if you need some money to escape. I'll always sort you out some cash if you're stuck.
no a) i dont take money from people easily even my own parents (who i would go to before anyone else because i know they are always there for me) and b) i know i have things ive put my responsibility to do, like working the fair tomorrow and heling with the show next week. and as much as i need to not be on my own i cant let people down because .... thats just shitty.
So then you're not trapped though, you're choosing to be where you are. While you still have a choice, you can't be trapped.
i think i know the feeling...i hate being by myself and genreally keep myself as busy as poss to combat feeling alone...i guess theres a difference between being alone and feeling alone tho...cos sometimes its great to be by yourself and chill but feeling alone totally sucks..and feeling alone when other people around really really sucks.. are you in brighton at the mo fleassy? i duno what id suggest really...sometimes you do just need to wallow in a way and seek your comforts..or maybe get out of your room and walk on the beach..show yourself that you are free and not trapped..i duno...were all different. when im feeling alone and trapped i generally just cry until i fall asleep and then spend the next day ratty and irritable so im probably not the best person to be dishing out advice!!! sorreee
But doc i dont choose to be alone, i choose to help others out knowing at some point i will be alone... and that thought petrifies me. Luchi yesi understand what you mean... i can not walk onthe beach i live a 40 min bus ride from town in small uni halls in the middle of not a very nice estate... and its easter weekend so buses dont run very often (even less than usual) .. ...im sorry i dont want to wallow in self pitty... ive stopped crying now.... but i just hate feeling like this. and it is horrible that it happns every time i have to stay somewhere alone.... if im out and about im fine... but if im in my house/uni flat.... or something like that... i go crazy.
Not really wanting to get drawn into a debate on the semantics of it..... but that's still a choice. All I'm trying to point out is that you aren't backed into a corner with no options. You're prioritising other things and thereby ending up being alone at times, but you still have a choice.
yep that really sucks..cos its an inevitable part of life that you're gona be alone at times...maybe you need to find the things that are personal to you that can bring you out of the sad/anxious feelings you expereince...maybe people on the end of the phone could help? i duno... do you feel like this every time your alone and know people ar far away or just some of those times when you're feeling particularly down/tired/vulnerable? i guess also when you're in a relationship and you see the other person alot you form a natural (and beautiful) dependancy on them..so that when they're not there things really do suck. flo said to me the other day that no matter how much me and her know eachother and love eachtoer blah blah blah if shes feeling really depressed and crap, its only jp she really longs to see..becuase you're partner is that special someone who knows you inside out and can make things bettre just by holding you. now im waffling but yeh..i hope your ok miss fleassy xx
yea i know i have a choice.... sorry your right. i just choose to be kind and help out. also im either alone in bighton or im alone in staines.... or in debt to people.. .. and to be honest none of the options appeal to me.
That's interesting. Most people seem to view such a dependency as a negative thing. I've always thought of it as very positive though.... forming a partnership with someone where you offer support to each other. Then again, now I come to think of it, most of the people I've spoken to who view this negatively have been single......
yeh but its not just a favour tomorrow is it? i mean, you're gona have a wicked day..the fairs the best place to work evereverever so tomorrow you'll be all smiles
Well maybe there comes a point where you need to look at your priorities? You're not much use to anyone if you're not happy in yourself. Your first responsibility is you, remember. There must be people you can visit, surely?
lol yeh...i duno my view varies alot..i used to think it was really bad to be so dependant upon a partner...people really drum independance into you like its the most imporatnt quality to seek, even more so when youre in a commited relationship to someone. but now i thinkt hat dependancy on your partner is possibly one of the most beautiful parts of your relationships...surely were not meant to just lean on ourselves?
regarding relationships with partners... that bond and dependancy is beautiful... excpet when its not possible to be with them because its crippling, even though you know you will see ythem soon its like a part of you is missing. And regarding peole i can visit, i know no one in brighton that i would ever feel comfortable ringing up and asking if i could hang out with them... i dont even feel comfortable askign dandy if we can hang out when i feel like this.... but she knows me well enough t always offer it. I only knoe about 2 people who are actually in brighton at the moment. And back in staines i dont have any friends left. ... THATS NOT A SELF PITTYING REMARK BY THE WAY THAT A COMMENT DUE TO THE FACT I WNET OT A DIFFERENT COLLEGE TO EVERYONE ELSE INA (soz bout caps there) different town back then and people found themself differnent friends.
you have so many friends on here fleassy..you shouldnt feel like you have to be alone...i bet theres loads of peple on here who would love to see you..i know you cant go visiting at the mo cos of your commitments this holiday but surely loads of people ar on easter break now..have people stay
yea ... im trying. Dandy might come down next week. Thing is im a real "in the presant" person... and if i feel down and alone now... the the prospect of someone beening about in a few days... really doesnt help. I do try very hard not to feel shitty..... and i hate feelign it ... and hate telling others i feel it even more because i feel a burden however sometimes i just need to vent it. i get supper scared and lonely and sad and just need people to tell me everythings ok... usually someone (like jaz or sal or dandy) will ring me.. and talk nonsence... and take my mind off it and im fine again.
yeh the 'now' thing rings true...but phone calls help lots..so thats cool you have people to talk to...never feel a burden tho! thats silly! friends are here to rely on and chat too
