yesterday was the worst day ive had as far back as i can remember. i met the most wonderful girl last summer. we fell in love right away. we hit the road in september going to rainbow gatherings. now i had'nt been in a relationship for a long time prior to this. things got wierd between us in alabama and i felt like i needed a break so we split up. it was the worst mistake i could have made. we ended up meeting back up in florida and got back together and i couldnt have been happier.we started talking about marriage and it seemed that we were both ready for it. we came back home to Pa for thanksgiving and i got into some trouble with the law. so weve been stuck here in Pa waiting on court dates settle over. we lived together at her moms house for a while but it wasnt a good situation with her family or her neighbors becasue i was living in my van outside her house. i moved in with a family member who i have had alot of problems with but she was kind enough to give me a roof over my head till i could get on my feet again. time went by too fast and me and this girl didnt see each other much at all becasue of the distance we lived away from eachother and no steady income for gas. we both got very derpressed and things just fell apart from there. she told me she didnt want to start travelling again yet until we both had jobs and a steady income. i was kind of at a loss becasue of the living situation im in. i knew i couldnt stay here but i knew i couldnt leave the girl who i love. it took me a few days to get my priorities straight and realize i need to do what ever i can to provide for this girls needs. i knew i wouldnt be happy any other way. yesterday i called her and tried to tell her this. she told me she wanted to be alone and that she needed to find herself. at first i was heartbroken thinking she didnt want me to be part of her life anymore. i spent pretty much the whole day in tears and pain. i stayed up all night dwelling on this shit. at around six thismorning i came to the realization that actions speak louder than words. i realized if i want to be with this girl i need to do whatever it takes to do that. i talked to her this morning and i feel alot better. i told her that i love her and that i respect her need for space and time alone to find herself, and that if i couldnt be there as her boyfriend i wanted to be there for her as a friend. this isnt easy for me to do at all and im going through alot of hurtin'. i know were meant to be together and i think she knows that too. but i guess this is the way it has to be for now, and i hope in the future our relationship can grow again. i just needed to put what im feeling in my heart into words and think sharing this has helped alot. thanks for listening to a heartbroken hippie ramble on. "you dont know what you got till its gone" ~shine on in love and light~ Sundance
Nobody's right till somebody's wrong. Nobody's weak till somebody's strong. No one gets lucky till luck comes along. Nobody's lonely till somebody's gone.
I respect the fact that you are willing to give her, her space and not hate her for it. I also respect the fact that you are willing to be her friend if you can't be her boyfriend. Love does hurt, but it is also a very wonderful feeling. You know that. Just hang in there and in the end all this will be worth it.
~Clapton ...right? BTW, if she needs space, just let her think. It sounds like you really love each other. You know, if you were ment to be, everything will turn out fine. I wish you the best of luck as I have been in situations similar.
If y'all are meant to be, which it sounds like y'all are, you will be one day...i really hope things work out for the best for you, sorry you're going through this!!
Yea right...I'm sure you do... thats why your talking to some other girl right now about being together, right? Yea... empty your fucking mail box and I won't need to tell you how I really feel about that right here. I thought you understood that I wanted to pull my life together without making you suffer by staying here with no home. I'm so angry right now, just go back to your stupid whore, you were prob with her while you were with me too since you couldn't even bother yourself to visit me EVER. Alot makes sense to me now. I'm disgusted...
