depressed

ever feel like crying and the only reasons you can up with for why seem so incredibly stupid? ever just cry anyway? does it make you feel better when you do?

 

I cried today the acoustic version of over the rainbow always does it for me. I wasn't sad but it did make me feel better as I went a long time without crying prior to hearing that this morning.

 

that's cool, i think i need to cry... maybe i should find a copy of that song and dl it.

 

it can feel good sometimes.

 

I wanna cry sometimes, but I'm worried I might have to beat myself up afterwords.

Seriously though, hope you cheer up. Its all this zombie jesus stuff thats probably getting to you... give it a few days and you'll be fine.

 

the song makes me cry because its the music on a documentary we made to plead with childrens hosp. to do a heart transplant for one of our kids with down syndrome. They won't do heart transplants on children with heart related illeness for the extra chromosome. it's not right that he can die at any moment because his life isn't seen as valuable.

 

that's horrible charles and i were talking about being organ donors earlier, and what goes into that... i sure wouldn't mind my heart being given to a child with a disability, mentally or otherwise...

 

rock on elyse it is sad but at least he's unable to understand the complexities of it which would depress him.

 

heh, thanks... i think i'm more angry than sad... maybe it's hormones, i dunno.... maybe i just need to get out, or maybe i really am a fuckup... bleh. what a ranty thread, sorry guys... throwing a pity party for myself, wooo....


*sigh* maybe i should just go to bed... actually... i'm going to the store. yes, that's it, the store!

 

get cookies and beer what's wrong?

 

Whenever I feel that way, I just let it out and sob to my heart's content.

 

yep, I cry like a mad person. It makes me feel better afterwards. Crying is actually designed to do that... releases happy hormones of some sort (or so I've heard)

 

Oh Elyse. I know exactly where you are at. And besides my artwork & weed, the only thing that got me better from depression was finding my wife. I'm sure you and Charles will be together sooner than you think.

 

i'm a little depressed right now, well more pissed off. This one bitch i kinda had something for, we got in a short fight tonite. Well let me tell you the background, a couple months ago she was all drunk and fucked my roommate. Tonite she tells me it was my fault that she fucked my roommate. I just said fuck you and walked out of the room, it can't be my fault that she's a whore, it still bothers me though........

 

well i harassed my brother and his gf for a minute and they walked with me to the gas station to get some cigs... ( i haven't smoked in months...) and yeah.. it made me feel better to talk to some ppl and smoke a little... weed would be nice but i have no hookups since the only time i ever smoke, which is very rarely, is at a party or some obscure person's house who's smoking... so yeah.... *sigh* not totally good, but yeah, a little better.

 

i thought about drinking something as well, but *shrug* oh well....

i'm kinda upset about a combination of no family dinner despite me cooking, i even cooked chicken!! (i'm a vegetarian) and yeah... that and i thought my parents didn't get anything for me for easter, though they got everybody else something, and then i found they got me some freakin acne medicine. that's nice. anyway, that and talking to charles for the first time really in about four days and we hardly even talked an hour and only about 15 words spoken just made me more sad, and can't concentrate on homework either, and just feeling lonely and lost... basically. *sigh* kinda selfish in some regards i know, but just got some hurt feelings. i thought it might be in combination with hormones or something since i can usually shrug stuff off, but i guess it's just a pile-up, some stuff has been going on for a while (family stuff mainly) and so yeah... bleh.

thanks for your guys' support though

and methos, i'm sorry to hear about that...

 

Aww sweetie that sucks... one of the biggest problems with family (taht I've found at least) is that they can take you for granted, especially when you're an adult. Maybe just try talking to them and let them know that you really wanted to just have an occasion with them - who did the cooking and who got what wasn't as important as having some good, quality time with one another? Maybe that'd help. And relationships, well... they always go through some bad spots where communication is painfully difficult (especially with LDR's)... if ya'll both just make an effort (team efforts, hurrah!)



I get like taht a lot too though... where a lot of normally fairly small slights can add up and it seems like no one really cares. It's bullshit though.... there are definatley people out there who care for you. One of the best solutions I've found is to go have some "me time", usually consisting of me treating myself to some delicious wonton soup and the local chinese restaurant and reading a good book, instead of guilting myself into bringing a textbook. Just do something small but indulgent, that will make you feel better in the end.. sing outloud, dance around, meditate, take an hour long bath... anything that could lift your spirit

 

I know exactly how you feel right now. I'm sorry I hope you feel better

 

aww thanks ihmurria **huggggg** that really made me feel better and i like the idea of "me time" while talking to ppl about stuff helps, it's usually when i'm alone that i get depressed, so i guess i need to learn to be alone and happy and that will spill over into the rest of my life... and maybe my post about the easter stuff didn't come off right, what i really wanted was some time together... we very rarely are all here to eat dinner together and what-not, and of course my brother's gf was more than welcome to eat with us (she did eat some of my food and said it was great) and yeah... family time is good when i can get it. i did try to explain to them earlier, and i think they understood, it just was still bothering me. maybe i can try to arrange something at another time... it's just so hard to get everybody together... oh bleh.. bleh!!! hehe... oh welllllll....

you're right- communication can be difficult.. especially when the two are on the phone and somehow doing other things. i think i need to be more persistent next time and grab all his attention and give him all of mine so that we can really talk to each other. it's so much easier in person, because you don't have to be talking the entire time to feel close and connected...

 

thanks lynsey **hug** to you too aww man i need a hug *turns toward bed* okay pillows, look out, you're gonna get it!!