Does Different Religions Help Or Hurt A Relationship???

If two people, who have been dating for a short time, discuss religion and find out that they are very opposite, do you think the relationship would work out or would it hurt it?

 

I think it depends on what kind of people are in the relationship. some people are very dedicated to their certain religion, like i have one friend who is determined to have a catholic boyfriend, nothing else... people like that i could see having certain issues with it, because there are people who wont date outside their certain religion.....some people arent very accepting of different views and could get into arguements about beliefs, so i think it could hurt a relationship with people like that... but there are also people who are accepting of others differences and who could learn from their spouses beliefs and respect them, i always see in couples who have been together for a long time, one will eventually convert to the others religion.that happens a lot... i am not a religious person but i am spiritual, i dated a guy who claimed he was "athiest" once, and although i am not athiest, i honestly couldnt stand the guy because he didnt know what the hell he was talking about, he was like a 16 yr old who was basically just saying he was to be different but couldnt define the word. If he actually knew about athiesm and what it is then i would respect him for his beliefs, but when you just say "im athiest" because its "cool" not to believe in god, thats bullshit. sorry about the rant i just really didnt like that guy. not because of athiesm, thats cool with me, just the pure immaturity is a little unnerving. so in that case.. even though i am accepting of everybodys beliefs, if your uninformed like that and dont know what the fuck your talking about..that can cause problems.my bf now grew up in a different religion and it doesnt make a damn difference to me, i love him for who he is, his beliefs being part of that.

 

Depends how dedicated the other person is to it, it really makes no difference to me.

 

Okay, what if one celebrated holidays and the other one didn't? What would you do?

 

I don't think it's necessary for a couple to agree on everything (not just religion, but other stuff as well), as long as they both respect each other's opinions and beliefs.

 

if they tried to convert me... there would be a problem. Other than that, I ain't too worried so long as it doesn't involve anything illegal (like sacrificing babies)

 

Exactly

 

I'm an agnostic Jew (agnostic by faith, Jewish by culture), and while I'd rather date someone who is either agnostic or Jewish or even Deist or Catholic, it really doesn't matter. The only bad thing is that since I live in the South, I've had several run-ins with extremely Protestant guys who made it their mission to convert me. No thanks. It's really more important for me to date a guy of similar political and philosophical beliefs because generally that means they would be less of a religious bigot. Like others have said, as long as he respects my beliefs, I'll respect his.

 

Well this happened to me. I've never celebrated holidays, however, my husband did. He wanted his kids to have a christmas tree, hunt for eggs - during easter and celebrate their birthdays. It was very hard for me during the holidays, because I didn't want to participant or let my kids participate. So we came to an agreement to let the kids celebrate the holidays over his moms house, which worked out pretty good. On my kids birthdays, my husband and his family would have a birthday party for my kids.

I did celebrate Christmas once to make my husband happy. I got all into shopping for gifts and listening to christmas music while we wrapped the gifts. We spent $1,800 on gifts that year. We bought gifts for my husbands entire family, sisters, aunts, mother, cousins, neices and nephews. However, on Christmas I was so exacted and couldn't wait for everybody to open their presents. When all the gifts were passed out, I ended up with a candle; my husband ended up with some generic cologne, boxers and socks; my kids received a giant coloring book. I was so upset!!!! My husband tried to calm me down and said that it's the thought that counts. I was like, I couldn't believe I spent that much money on his family. I mean, we bought nice gifts for them; such as, all the kids got outfits, socks & undies, toys and candy; the aunts got bath&body works gift baskets and 14k gold bracelet; the cousins got 14k gold bracelets and named brand perfrum/cologne gift baskets; his mom got new pots & pans set, 14k gold bracelet, perfrum gift basket, bottle of wine and gloves & scarf set. It was the Christmas from hell for me. I never celebrated Christmas again!!!

p.s. By the way, we left our kids Christmas presents at home, so my kids did have a merry Christmas, after all.

 

I hope you do realize that some people simply can't afford amazing gifts for others. That may or may not have been the case then, but I know that I couldn't even afford to get most of my friends anything that cost more than $5, and only my closest friends got anything at all. I only spent about $200 on family for xmas, because I simply couldn't afford to spend any more than that. Sometimes it's not thoughtlessness, it's a lack of money (and probably a lack of time to find that perfect, cheap gift as well)

Not saying your frustrations weren't valid, just saying there may have been other factors involved.

 

my boyfriend is a devoute catholic. lol im not

 

Good question.

When looking for someone to date, I never really took it into consideration, but I now realize that it is important to me. Luckily I met someone who has the same belief system that I do, and he was able to teach me things about other religions as well. I think that it would have caused quite a few arguements if we differed greatly on the subject, especially with the things that we've had to deal with in our relationship. And later, when we have kids, I know that we agree in the way that we will raise them with regard to religion. I mean a lot of things can come up where your religion can play a big part on how you do things. If you differ greatly on principles then it can cause a problem.

At the same time it might not matter in some relationships. I mean my mother goes to church every Wednesday night and Sunday morning and my dad just sleeps, or watches the aliens. He swears up and down that there is no god. I've never once heard them argue about it though. I guess neither of them care what the other thinks at this point.

 

True.

 

It can work either way. My best friend is a devout animistic pagan, who worhips the gods of his German ancestory. His wife is a dovout Mormon. I never thought of how it could work, but they have dated for 5 years and have been married for near 1 now. He believes in all gods, though he doesnt care much for her god, and he thinks her religion is way off, he doesnt push that. She also believes in other gods, thinks his are real, but thinks hers is better. That her god is stronger, etc, while he and I both agree that her god isnt lol. They just do their own thing. They both celebrate both of their different holidays, since most of hers were stolen from his it works ok. They plan to raise the children Mormon, but he refuses to not teach them his faith, so the children will do what they feel is right, which hopefully is being pagan =P

I could never be with a Christian, but I could marry a buddhist. I would prefer a pagan, but would marry a Hindu, if she were from India of course. My wife is pagan, used to be indifferent, but now she worships her ancestors, who are different than my own, I am Scottish, she is Vietnamese. Technically, we have different religions, because we have different gods, but we worship simililarly, and the faiths work together. We both worship the Great Mother, so with that, our faiths are the same.

Religion isnt what god you worship, its your worldview. My wife, friend, and myself all worship different gods, but our religion is the same.

SO i think if the religion allows for tolerance, then yes it will work, but if it is a fundamentallist-hard-core-my-god-is-the-only-god type, then no, youre in for trouble.

 

I think it really depends on the people. My fiance and me don't beleave the same and we'e doing peachy. My bother and his ex girlfriend didn't beleave the same and well I guess I really don't need to say if they made it. hehe So, I think it all depends really on the people.

 

Certain religions (usually fundamentalist ones that believe that their religion is superior and the only right one, and that their holy book is the exact 100% true word of the only god) are not very accepting of differing religious & nonreligiious viewpoints. These religions do not accept diversity of religious opinion. It has been called religious racism, or religious Naziism. Therefore, when you date or marry a person who believes one of these fundamentalist religions, you are expected to believe as they do. Obviously, such expectations can harm a close relationship.
Once, I was dating an incredible woman who was a born-again Christian. She loved me, but wouldn't commit to me because my religious views didn't fit her fundamentalist criteria. I got tired of putting a lot of effort into this relationship that had nowhere to go. I ended up breaking her heart because she would not allow me to believe my very reasonable beliefs.