Psssssssssshhhhhhhhbewitched and bewildered and all the while besieged harking, larking sparks that this heathen's been deceived and all the while he's feeling like the message is received but encrypted and encoded he's no where near relieved sighing and smiling together holding hands reminding him of secrets strung by music from our bands like the silent feelings spoke could be missed by all their fans hidden in the gentle way that they pick and pluck the strands and who am I to know these things, to feel them and decide that this is how that person felt, that this is how they stride I'm stuck alone between the two, just trying to choose a side do I follow hope or follow doubt to become the others bride or is it worth the chance, should I take it and be free? or will my wings fly too high and leave a burnt out me?\/\A Poem by ConfusionWallowed in the melting snow these cold hard feelings froze my flow swallowed whole; it feels too slow planted in winter, will it ever grow? and it had seemed like the last frost had passed and I know see I swallowed much too fast and it had seemed like our destiny: her sail, my mast I never once thought that it might not last did we forget the rope? did we forget the ship? or am I just on her radar as one more blip? my new goal in life is to feel her lips! and to enter her soul through the touch of our tips! the butterfly no longer flutters below but now in my mind where the questions bestow an endless barage of things I can't know I need her to tell me; should I hold on or let go.../\/Tears that cry for themselvesA hidden connection between two souls Subconscious, but I examine mine I make her sad by wanting too bad Everyone likes to be needed, but only by those they need Is this greed? Or just balance? Did she think I needed her? I just wanted. I wanted her to want me. I wanted to know her inside out, and for her to know me just as well. Oh how much more we could have helped each other if this was so. How much more we could have helped others AND ourselves.: She told me she was sad. She told me she was confused. But that these feelings weren't hers So she couldn't talk about them.: They were mine.: I tried to tell her But she was too busy being sad and confused...: And I felt her feeling me and my feelings! I wanted to tell her all about this But she was too busy being sad and confused So the last time she came, I pushed her away...: And if I had've been non chalante, would this have happened? But how could I have been? My whole life, I have felt the feeling that something was missing, and she, she made me feel whole...: Tears that cry for themselves.
I like the last one better though it's less intense than the first efforts. Multi-rhyme poetry tends to become trite and by giving rhyme more power and control than it's due you surrender a good part of your 'soul.' Keep writing- I'll keep reading!
well, alot of the rhyming stuff i write so it sounds good in my head. If i read it out loud, it would sound alot better then you reading it off the page. but i know what you mean, i'm starting to get into more flowing stuff the second one is supposed to be read with a gradually increasing crescendo of speed and angst until the last line where it just drops after a pause. i may just be acting anal by making sure you know this, but it really sounds significantly better...
