ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i am sooo pissed off right now. ok, this is about peoples attitudes to those living on welfare, or benefits in the UK, and having a schizophrenic partner as your babies father. i am so tired of people looking down on me for living on benifits. right now i live in a nice flat with my husband and between us we get 115 pounds a week to live on, 20 pounds of which goes to meet the bit of the rent we have to find ourselves. ok so 95 pounds a week. We have a 5 month old son. does anyone really think this is an easy option, this is not enough to live on, ok so we can eat, and i can clothe my son, (mainly from gifts from friends, hand me downs and charity shops{not that i mind charity shops)but there is no money to save to help us out of the situation or put away for all the things my son will need... we are on these benifits right now because my husband is schizophrenic. this does not make him a bad father, he is not a danger to my son in any way, his symptoms are controlled now,even though he is still considered officially insane (which is ridiculous and makes our situation even harder) he is the most loving father i could want for my baby, and ill tell you, im glad its him and not my ex, he was the most perfect father material in society's eyes, well educated, working, studying etc, but he was cold hearted and told me when we thought i might be pregnant once that i would HAVE to have an abortion as it would mess up his plans. My husband has been sympton free (well dangerous symptoms)on meds for 4 years now and is gradually coming off his medication, but its a slow process and its hard and he cant work because of the side effects. even if he could, his many years in hospitals preudice employers, as he either has to tell them about his illness or lie about what he was doing for 5 years. He is also not able to look after our son all day due to the side affects of his meds, so i cant work either as there is noone else to look after our son and we cant afford childcare. if i did work, because the rents in our area are so high i would barely even pay the rent, and we would be even worse off. these are the reasons we are on these benifits. For this we get looked down on and judged as wasters, no good layabouts. well i can tell you, as most mums will know there is no time to lay about. i look after my son and my husband helps me, i keep our house clean, i raise money for charity with the spare time i have, i go to college in the evenings, as does my husband, to try to make a better life for us by learning skills we can use to work from home, but it takes time, and we need the benifits to LIVE. the alternitive would be to live in a tent on the roadside. I know many people do not blindly judge people like me, but there are those that do, and im just asking them to think again before they judge. it hurts me so bad when people assume im on benifits because i cant be bothered to work, when i am trapped in this situation because there is nothing else i can do right now, it wont be forever but its necessary now. sorry this has been so long i just had to get all that out. thanks for reading.xxx
You are doing great! just hang in there and you will be fine. I know a couple who started out like you did, they were too living on welfare at one point in their life, they were struggling, but today it turns out that they employ about 400 people and are the founders and also CEOs of a major company that sells stuff for accountants. So just hang in there!.
Aw you poor thing . I can't even imagine, but I know other families who get looked down upon for the same thing (you wouldn't believe how many families have to be in these assistance programs in the military). I agree with Jedi, it sounds like y'all are doing the best you can with the cards you've been dealt, and ya certainly don't sound like a bum. Don't let any rude looks or snide remarks anyone may make get you down. Like you said, right now you need this to live, and certainly for your child if nothing else. Keep your chin up . It'll be ok
Those people which look down on those using benifits often forget that there are people out there that actually NEED them. I mean, they were created for a reason. Okay, some people abuse the system (my aunt, to name one) but it isn't fair to believe that everyone is abusing the system. This is simply not the case. Just because a person is on benifits does not make them a social outcast, the ones that do look down obviously have no money issues themslves and probably never had. I think the old saying 'Another persons shoes' would fit in well here. Hang in there, Enigma, don't let people with the depth of a puddle get you down.
______________________ Think of it this way, you know what's wrong with you and your husband but there are some people that think they and their spouses are normal. (Watch reality tv sometimes so it can scare you.) Don't worry about other people and their views because other people always think they want what you have until it happens to them.
people are always going to have an opinion about how fucked up you live no matter how well you're doing. that's just how people are. it doesn't matter if one is in your situation or in a nice suburban house with 2.5 kids and a job with great benefits. SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE is always going to be creeped out or disgusted with you. the trick is to do your best with what you have.
You and your husband are doing an amazing job going to classes and trying to get things on track, welfare is there for a reason, many people I've known have also been on it and they have been on it for a reason, as long as you are trying to better yourself, which you are, also you are taking care of a tiny baby which is always expensive and you have a tough situation. I don't know how you feel about letting others know your situation, but if I were you I would type out what I want people to know about my situation, and ask them what they'd do in my situation and everytime someone made a comment I'd give them that sheet of paper and tell them to kiss my ass. Good luck to you doll!
hi there i know how you feel after a few long years of my parnter drinking he kicked the bottle and ended up on medication for a chemical inbalance, which led to his time in the hospital not very nice to visit the department for social services ,to explain our situation forms to fill ,visits to the house ect...... so he lost work ,we owe alittle to bank still and he lost car which got him to work.... this is the 2nd year on incapacity benefit for himself and the children and myself get income support. 3 kids age 14 11 and 2 im looking to go to work soon, but my partner who is now getting well in the head after drinking years feels low,hes not supporting us in this capitalistic system. yet he worked for 18 years after college, paying full taxes and looked after his step mum after his father died..... im glad hes home to see the chidren after school and play with our little one so i can read study my unpaid work load.. but we are seen as scum by some people, who pay taxes.... this system causes this divide between the human race a world for profit causes many problems. so this system needs to change and look after is people all over the world the lower paid work force the unemplyed are seen as scum,yet we are all alive, keep standing together and always talk about things that happen ive learnt this over the years and 5 years on when it all first began we laugh about all the forms i filled the times we were so skint before our money came through our friends did us a few food parcels....and helped with the kids...... take care take one day at a time and relax . lovenpeace from saff
Hey, sweetness! If you're looking for a job in the UK where you can be at home with your baby, I might be able to help. If you own a computer at home, you might look into sex, domination, or tarot texting. (They're always looking for new people.) Email info@livesextext.com if you're interested. You can work as much as you like and you are guarenteed 5 pounds an hour even if no texts come in.
