What was junior and senior high school like for you as gay people?

I'm writing a paper on suicide rates among gay teenagers and which sparked my curiosity. What were things like for you being openly gay and or in the closet when you were a teenager?

 

Awful. I would NOT repeat high school for anything. The CONSTANT snickering and comments are very hurtful and isolating.

 

i came out (accidentally) in grade 9 and it was hell for me for that year. i'm graduatign this year and i have to say i have gained a lot of respect since then. it's still weird though, people thought my best friend kevin and i were dating for a while and i heard from (not-so-close) friends that people i didn't even KNOW were like "oh my god, did you know jessica isn't a lesbian anymore?" so strange... i'm the only gay person at my school that pretty much everyone knows about so i feel like a bit of a celebrity sometimes. there are the few close minded assholes but people like me for the most part ebcause i'm not a bitch so they don't make fun of me anymore for being gay. i can tell some girls are uncomfortable with it which is silly because i'm taken. but i let them have their space.

 

Yeah, but in school, you hear a rumour like this and everyone thinks you're after them in particular. If I like guys, I must like ALL guys, ya know?

I had a couple experiences in high school, but didn't really explore my sexuality until after graduation, so I fortunately didn't have to go through the grief. However, a few of my friends in Drama were out and caught all kinda of hell. But I was raised in redneck suburbia and wasn't suprised at everyone's reactions. One of my friends went to senior prom with his boyfriend and they got the shit beat out of them outside of the dance. A friend and I made sure to make several announcements over the loudspeaker at school condemning this act and was about to start pointing fingers when the administration decided that they would take on the role of FCC and cut us off. But it got a bit of attention from the students and we made sure to give out names when asked in the hallways. Those guys were NOT happy. Hehehe. I was kinda happy that more students shunned them than praised them. Made me feel a little better about the mindset in the school.

 

I came out a few months ago as bi, and everyone is really nice abuot it, but that is only because I live in New Hope, Pennsylvania, probably the gayest town in PA. lol

 

Well I hated highschool anyway, but it wasn't because of this or anything. I wasn't even out in highschool. I finally came out to my best friends in maybe my senior year? I'm not even positive about that. I didn't dare come out before, or to the whole school though. Yikes man...just yikes. It's not even the people I went to school with that I was afraid of knowing. They were overall fine with that stuff. I knew a few gay/bi kids back then who got along just fine after the initial shock of coming out wore off. I was more afraid...and still am...that it could get back to my parents. I have a good friend who came out in our senior year, to the whole school, and it was awesome how cool everyone was with it. There was one guy in particular who would make fun of him, but when my friend saw that same guy at a local gay club, and innocently (seriously, no malicious intent) mentioned it to some of us back at school, the dude stopped hasseling him lol. Sad story though, the guy started using heavy drugs not long after that...and just died last year of an assumed drug overdose (after having been in rehab). If he was at that club for a reason, he never came out about it...and my friend wonders now if it's all connected....

 

Could well be that he was gay & repressing. His homophobic actions may well have been "cover" but also could be related to the fact that he was homophobic & the anguish of actually being gay& hating it took him to the OD. I have heard of that.

 

I wasn't even able to come out to myself at that age due to the repressive climate I lived in regarding GLBT people.

 

YES i remember my high school days boy do i remember.

 

does it count if i'm not american?

high school was fine. i came out to my friends in yr 9. and i figured most of the people i talked to knew... though a lot didnt. there was only ever one guy who would deliberately make homophobic comments in my presence. and i argued back. but no one else ever said or did anything against me because of my sexuality.

i think australia is a lot more laid back socially than america. thats the impression i get. in australia people don't gang up on others because of their race or sexuality or religion at school because they will get put in their place. of course there is the exception to the rule, and there will be instances where people will be outright racist and homophobic in public... but mostly they'll get berated for it.

 

dont forget chicks get treated difrent even in australia . put your self in a boys shoes and come back and sing me another song.

 

yeah ok fair enough. i dunno what guys through. i do have a close guy friend who went to my school. in my grade. we sort of came out around the same time but he got a bit more crap than me. actually people were more like, "see that guy? he's gay!" but i was anonymous.

though he sort of flew open the closet doors and said "I'M GAY!" whereas i just told my friends.

so i dunno.

 

i definitely agree with you there and it really makes me upset. i had a gay guy friend who had to move away because of all the shit he got. there were some other factors involved but that was the main reason. i hate that double standard, humans are sickenningly hypocritical at times.

 

I never came out in high school but my life was still made a living hell

So the way you come out or not hardly makes any difference cause most of the time guys will decide for you that you're gay, and that includes kids who just happen to be nerdish looking or gentle.

Also, gays who act very "queenish" are blamed but the reality is they use it as a defense mechanism (I know it's ironic). They've already been singled out for being feminine, so they just accentuate those traits and act all bitchy to put up a wall around them and keep agressors at bay. It's a ruthless world out there for us boys

 

I was the first person to come out in my high school, in a real small town. Now we have several. Actually I'm bi-sexual and I have the best of both worlds. I have a wonderful girl friend who is also bi and there is no shortage of boys who want to fuck us.

Thoughts of suicide? Not here, I couldn't have it any better.

I have no problems with my sexuality, other people do, but that's their problem. My moms cool with it and Chele's dad is cool with it and beyond that who cares what anyoe else thinks?

 

I might be a bit older than many of the other people in the forum, but I thought that high school was awful and junior high was far, far worse.

 

I'm in high school and i go to a small school and i'm playing a lot of sports i'm good for my level and my brother goes their and he plays a lot of sport and i think high school can be great becuse it cool going down the hall and everyone saying hi to me, but it is funny to think that most people knew i was bi i don't think i could stand doing sports anymore and the whole experiance would exploed so i think i might wait untill i get out highschool to come out

 

dear god, boy! use some punctuation! i was running out of breath trying to read that post! lol

 

I came out to friends in Year11 (aged15ish) and it wasn't that bad, looking back on it. I went to a boys-only school run by the 'jocks' who i thought were homophobic - but by Year13 (final year) i realised that most guys didn't care about homosexuals, but they did like to use 'fag' as a put down. They put down campness more than homosexuality.

I got more hassles from being quiet and odd and freak-ish, rather than being gay. Most straight guys were pretty comfortable asking me stuff about being gay, and who i thought was good looking etc. I never got with anyone during high school but there were guys there, gay/bi/str8 that were comfortable hitting on me/being hit on by me jokingly. I suppose i surrounded myself with the right people.

 

That model you have pictured is my absolute favourite. His name is VOVA. I have him as my screen saver. You have great taste.

On the topic. I didn't even know I was gay at High School. From what I remember though it would have been hell on anyone who came out. Times were not very enlightened back in the early eighties.