guys, this is really important and i need opinions

well I need some guys opinions of what they would do in this situation

well, me and my boyfriend got in this fight over something REALLY dumb last night and I told him that it was over.. He was like ok.. and i said something later on about , oh u got what u wanted now... and he was like, I didnt want to break up with u...
well, if this happened to any other guys, would u at least try to get back together or would u just be like ok...?

then,I told him to come over to get his stuff from my house and he did but he didnt bring my stuff...
so i told him that he wasnt taking his until i got mine and i was standing in front of the door and he kinda pushed me to get me out of the way and i slapped him...some other thinks happened b4 this but i know i was definitely wrong for this...
so would u ever forgive me if u were him?

i dont know what im going to do if i dont talk to him anymore... i have been crying like all day as it is and i only made it worse. I havent went a day with out talking to him for like the past 6 months...i love him and i dont want to lose him but something tells me that I REALLY messed up..do u think there is anything i can do or say ?

 

physical abuse is not a good sign in a relationship. Love doesn't make everything better. In all honesty, I would say that both of you should get out of that relationship and find one that's better, one where neither part pushes nor slaps the other.

 

*bites lip knowing there're 3 sides to every story*

 

Yer gonna listen to relationship advice from a guy who has Elton John in his sig three times??

-Jeffrey

 

Yea dude, Elton John kicks ass. :sunglasse

 

Sure hes well you know, but hes actually a real nice fellow!


Anyway, pushing shoving slapping? whats goin on up there sister. RESPECT each other. Seems we are lacking in that department. Ive been around the block a time or two, listen to my advice. Sometimes your heart is dead wrong, sometimes your heart will get you hurt or even dead. Break up with him, move on with your life and listen to this and believe this, you will survive. You will not die. It will get easier! I will say a prayer for you sister, Ive been through the same crap as well, i was married six years in a relationship that was headed no where, it was even hard to walk away from that!And theres nothing that compares to a broken heart maybe a tooth ache but you get the drift. How much respect do you have for yourself at this time in your life? do you need to work on that? A man shoving you? Im happy you did slap him, stand up for yourself, but when it happens time after time, who is to blame? Please, Love yourself and make a better life. Start off fresh, its summertime, the livin is easy, catfish are jumpin and the cotten is high!

 

what the hell do u mean time after time? nothing like this happened b4 and like I said it isnt going to happen again.

 

people jumping to conclusions. it is really shitty what happened and i'm sorry it happened your situation is obviously not an abusive relationship, but a HUGE misunderstanding. both sides were in the wrong, in my opinion. you wanted a fair trade: your stuff for his. he should have respected that. and you had a right to get your property back before you gave his back. like i said, a fair trade. he should not have shoved you. you slapped him back. maybe not the best reaction, but you were hurt and flustered, and it's obvious you're sorry. he didn't have the right to barge into your home like that, but you still feel bad for slapping him, knowing you had overreacted. perhaps instead you should have said that you'd call the police, but you were upset at the time. we human beings aren't always very rational in heated situations like that.

you say you love him and you don't wanna lose him. is it HIM you don't wanna lose, or is it the relationship itself? having someone to kiss and hold and spend that time with...i'm sure it IS him you don't want to lose, but you know the old saying: if you love someone, let them go...if they come back, they were yours all along. if they don't, it wasn't meant to be.

you're young yet, sister. you've got lots of time to find a soul mate to spend your days with. i hope for the best in your situation. no matter what, keep love in your heart. love isn't just found in another human being, it's all around us. keep love in your heart and be strong.

 

ive slapped someone out of anger before and made up afterwards as its not indicative of my personality and i did it to get him out of my face because i cant stand my personal space invaded in any other way besides loving so it was a totaly different situation. i would tell him how you feel but if you get that angry so quick i would get some help before you get in a relationship

 

its not that i got angry quick, i just didnt like the idea of being pushed around by a man that is like 3 times my size

 

to add my biased opinion, if you want it...i think it was really shitty of him to expect you to give his stuff back and not bring yours. and also really shitty for him to push you aside to barge into your home. you had broken it off with him, and this was YOUR space he was forcing himself into. the more i think about shit like this, the madder i get. sorry. i'm not trying to push my opinion on you or anything. but the more i think about it, the more i think if he's mad at you for slapping him when he was on YOUR PROPERTY and didn't intend to return your belongings, the more i think, let him be mad at you. it's shitty that he came to get his shit, didn't bring yours, and acted disrespectful to you in your own home. but my other opinion also stands: keep love in your heart. never solve anything with hate. but do not beat yourself up about this, either. this was not your fault. it is a bad situation, but had he been respectful about the equal trade of both of your belongings, it would not have happened. i wish you the best, sister.

 

thank you for actually taking the time to read the whole thing. Thank u for your advise. Yes i am sure that its HIM that I dont want to lose.. and actually, since i wrote this we have gotten back together. I think he realized that we were both wrong

 

i wasnt jumping to conclusions. I have a pretty busy life working fulltime and running a band that plays 4 nights a week atleast, taking the time to give you HEART felt advice and then to have you act like a jerk about it is disappointing to say the least. I said for it to happen time after time because after a man shoves you and becomes physical with a woman in that manner it tends to happen again, not in all cases. I misjudged you without knowing and for that apologize to you and myself, in the future I will abstain from giving you any friendly advice and just plain ignore you because my time is way to precious to me, have a good day. I hope and pray you find the answer or a solution to your problem and that you find happiness. Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

 

no offence, but at 17 I'm not too sure its "him" judging by posts here and things I've seen.

 

Just curious - when you told him to come over and get his stuff, did you actually tell him to bring your stuff, or did you just assume he'd do it?

 

I still think you need to control yourself and not put yourself in a position to be pushed or shoved or anything like that. Sorry I'm not telling you what you want to hear, but I need to be honest. I think it's awful that you two got back together and just let it go like a "misunderstanding". This sets the mood that it's normal and ok. It's not. Ever.

Even if one of you isn't really "abusive" slapping and pushing and shoving is incredibly harmful in a relationship and should never be accepted!! For any reason! there is no good reason why you would ever need to put your hands on someone else. And I DON'T think we're getting the whole story here. Why did he need to shove you out of the way to get his stuff? Were you blocking it? Not letting him access it? Yelling in his face? I highly doubt he just comes out and shoves you- if he did you have MUCh bigger problems than I thought. But if this was mutual (as most little tiffs like this are) you had to have instigated him into getting really angry. You have to own that. BUT-- in no way should he have ever put his hands on you, and how dare you slap him back!! That is a deal breaker!! That is childish and setting the stage for an abusive relationship. You two said it was all ok. So what about next time? Can he push you into a wall? Can you scratch him or pinch him? Will is just be let go like the last time? If not, what's the difference?

Think about the message you are sending here. Think about what you are saying is forgivable.

 

What's w/all the anger - slapping/hitting/pushing?

Basketball?

 

yes i did tell him

 

no you didnt hear the whole story. Honestly the reason that he was all angry was not because of me. The reason that he had such an attitude was because when he came over, my sisters bf was here, and they dont get along at all. They got in there little squabbles and he was being a jerk, flicking his cigarette on my floor and stuff...

 

by MY posts? Well I am sure its him.