I'm doomed to be alone :(

Hi my girlfriend broke up with me about a week short of us going out for a year. I've been in complete denial and its almost been two months now. We still hang around all the time, and my friends say this is unhealthy. And ever night I goto bed, crying with a stuffed pink bunny she gave me. Will the hurting ever go away?

And whats confused me even more is she was at my house one day and she took my pants off(and I'm always commando). The day after she came over again we took each others pants off and had anal sex, then the day after she came over and we had normal sex(To the best of my ability I cant hold off long lol) Anyways what does this mean? What should I do? Am I gonna be alone forever?

 

Well, I think you've just became her fuck buddy...
I am sorry but sex seems to be making this whole situation more complicated..
I would just ask her why if you arent together why you are still wanting to have sex...

And its healty to be friends with ones you have loved or been in a relationship with..I am best friends with someone whom I was engaged too..

The whole sex thing confuses me though...and thats whats probably unhealthy..

 

It's really hard. I broke up with my bf and he never got over me. And I still cared about him, and wanted to be close friends. And then we ended up being "friends with benifits". To say the least it was a really really hard time for both of us. Sex really did complicate it. I ended back up with him because I was just scared to be in a relationship so serious as the one we have. But I can tell you, having sex and being friends so quickly after breaking a relationship is sooooo hard.

The pain will eventually go away. But maybe you should hold off on the sex. It does make it harder, and brings up too many questions.

 

I loved her so much and feel used to be regarded as a fuck buddy. Its just annoying because if I have plans with her my friends get mad and say "you guys aren't dating anymore!"

 

You should probably stop having sex with her...
That would atleast give you some healing and not make things harder than what they are..

 

Is there anything I can do to help the healing along? I'd prefer to be with her but thats just me dreaming.

 

I like having a fuck buddy. If you can handle a former partner as a fuck buddy then why not? No holds barred good recreational sex. Contrary to popular belief you don't need love to have good sex. I don't think I loved anything like the 100 or more partners I have had. Probably only 3 or 4.

One day, you will probably find someone special for a long term relationship again. And should your now fuck buddy come around again for some more sex, you can give her the bad news that you have found someone else.

 

I don't want a fuck buddy I want someone to love and hold me.

 

If thats what you want, then you need to stay away from her. Because she isn't going to give you that. She only wants the sex now, and it sounds like she is holding up your moving on and finding that person to love and hold you. Just simply stop seeing her all together. I have never seen much good come out of being "friends" after relationships. Been there done that, and found out the hard way that it just doesnt work. It takes time to move on, but once you do, trust me, you will be better off.

 

I was with someone for 3-4 years, we had kids together, had lots of memories... Anyway, same thing happened to me... took me about half a year to a year to get over it. He tried to get me to be his fuck buddy for awhile but I told him I have to move on... tell her that because its the only way to let the healing begin. I held a stuffed bunny too, lol isn't that funny? Yea...his name was herbert bunny... PM me if your sad and just want someone to bitch too, I don't mind. I've been there too.

 

Do I have to stay away from her all togather?

 

me personally, yes you should..
or atleast stay aways for a while until you have healed..

 

That sucks I'm never getting in a relationship again. You can't even have you significant other as a friend anymore. I wish I were dead.

 

well dont say or start thinking that...

I always look at it this way...things happen for a reason...

If you didnt have feelings for her like you do, and if you guys werent having sex, well then there could possibly be a friendship..
But I would give yourself sometime to heal..

 

Don't think about it that way. Think about it as the past, something that you learned from and can improve on in the future. You can't dwell on this stuff or else you will never get anywhere.

Being friends might be possible after relationships, but, in all MY experiences things never worked out. But then again, we were still having sex. Do you think that she would still want to see you (as a friend) and hang out with you if she doesnt get anything from you? I'm guessing that unless you have sex, it might be a little awkward to just be friends, especially when you start seeing her with other guys (or girls) and the same for her if she sees you with another girl. What I'm saying is, in the long run, you will be very glad that you decided to just totally put her aside and stay away from her. It might feel horrible to start with, but I can say from personal experience that it is the better choice in the end.

 

I know you guys are probably right I should probably stay away from her but during our relationship I've built such a dependancy on her. I'm so lost with out her. And I've kinda drifted away from my friends while I was with her. I'm so alone.

 

You should find things to do. Join a martial arts class... guitar lessons... start working out. Things like that. Not only do you meet new people and have things to do to fill the time that you suddenly have, you'll learn too! Call those friends up and say "hey, been a while, lets go get some drinks!"

Being friends with someone you were in a serious relationship is soo hard. I've heard that most of the time it just doesn't work, just too many emotions that (crappily enough) just don't go away. I know I have heard of people who were in serious relationships that stayed friends... but my theory is that the break-up was mutual. When one person is hurting more than the other it's just really hard to find common ground to share as friends. Cuz every time you see her your heart is going to drop a beat.

But I really think you should find some new hobbies. Its going to be wierd and hard at first for sure. But I totally think joining a class or club or some other sort of thing will make it so much easier. Specially when you meet new people who you can chat with.

 

Then you should find somebody who will again

 

you got to put away or get rid of stuff like the bunny. anything that reminds you of her a a while. like months. date other people.

 

AMEN BROTHER!!!!!!!!