earlier yesterday on saturday which was yesterday, me and amber were walking down a lonely street....she spotted a snake moving against the grass blades...."OMG MARIA GET ME A FUCKIN STICK!!!!" she yelled...so I ran and got her a stick ...i stood back looking aimlessly while she whipped the snake severly.."dear god amber stoppp iiiiiiit" i yelled.. some fuckin old lady came over by us and was like, :didja fina a snake? hes been crawlin arouind my house so i brought a can of this stuff"....twas Febreeze, of course amber and i know what it is...makes ur damn house smell good. The old lady was like, "do ya kids smoke this stuff, do ya drink it??" hahahahahaha we laughed our asses off and she told her life story to us, little details and what-not. Then she glared at the snake raising her right arm and started striking him with the can of Febreeze. "OH NOOO" i screamed in horror. Amber laughed wile I cried. "get it granny" amber screamed {by the way bitches this is true}......the old women was like "im gonna getcha snake, kill it KILL IIIT" then we told her we were sisters and had to leave because mummy was calling us. She wanted to know where we lived so Amber pointed in any direction she could find. "ohhhhhh over there eh?" the lady said.. amber started fighting with her own mind, "nope i think we live over there, NO THERE OMG THERE" so I backed away silently motioning for amber to leave with me...the fucking old winch like followed us. ......before we leave you, me and amber want you to repeat the phrase, "do ya smoke it do ya drink it" over and over and over in ur heads....night night
For convinience i've translated this into "IM speak for 12 year olds" EARLEIR YESTERDAY ON SATURDAY WHICH WAS YESTARDAY ME AND MBR W3RE WOKNG DOWN A LON3LY STRET..SHE!!!11!!111!!1!11!!1!11!!!!1 OMG SPOT3D A SNAEK MOVNG AGANEST DA GRAS BLAEDS..OMG!1111!!!!11!!!11!1!11!!1!1!1 WTF MARIA G3T M3 A FUKIN STIK!!1!11!11!!1!!!!1111!111! SHA YELAD.SO!!1!1111!!11!1!1!11 I RAN AND GOT HER A STIK .I!1!!1!!111!1!!!11111 WTF LOL S2D BAK LOKNG AMEL3SLY WHIEL SHE WHIPED DA SNAEK SAVERLY.D3AR!111!11111111!! OMG LOL GOD MBR S2PP IIIIT I Y3LED.1!11!!11!1 WTF LOL SOM3 FUKIN OLD LADY CM3 OVER BY US AND WAS LIEK DIDJA FINA A SNAEK?!!!?!!!! WTF HES B3N CRAWLIN AROUIND MAH HOUS3 SO I BROUGHT A CAN OF THIS STUF..TWAS1!!111!!1!111!!1!111!111!!1 OMG LOL F3BREZE OF COURS3 MBR AND I KNOW WUT IT IS.MAEKS111!!11!!1!!1!11! OMG WTF LOL UR DMN HOUSE SMAL GOD11!1 OMG TEH OLD LADY WAS LIEK DO YA KIDS SMOKA THIS STUF DO YA DRINK IT??!!?!?!!!??!!?!?? OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA WA LAUGHED OUR ASES OF AND SH3 2LD HER LIEF S2RY 2 US LITLE DETALES AND WUT!1!!1!!1 WTF LOL THAN SH3 GLAERD AT DA SNAEK RASENG HER RIGHT ARM AND STARTED STRIKNG HIM WIT DA CAN OF FABREZE!!!11!1! WTF LOL O NOO I SCR3MAD IN HOROR!!!! OMG WTF LOL MBR LAUGHAD WIEL I CREID11!1 WTF LOL GAT IT GRANY MBR SCREMED {BY DA WAY BITCHAS THIS IS TEH!1!!!!11!1111!11!!11!!!1!!!!!1!1!11 OMG WTF OLD WOMEN WAS LIEK IM GONA G3TCHA SNAEK KIL IT KIL IIT TH3N WE 2LD H3R WE WERE SISTERS AND HAD 2 LAAEV B/C MAH WAS CALNG US!!1!! WTF SHE WANTAD 2 KNOW WHAR3 WE LIEVD SO MBR POINTAD IN ANY DIERCTION SHE CUD FIND!1111 WTF O OVER THEIR EH?!!!!! OMG WTF LOL DA LADY SADE.!!111!1!1!1 MBR STARTAD FIGHTNG WIT HER OWN MIND NOP3 I THINK WA LIEV OVAR THEIR NO THEIR OMG THEYRE SO I BAK3D AWAY SIELNTLY MOTIONNG FOR MBR 2 LEAEV WIT DA!11!!111!!111!!1 OMG FUKNG OLD WINCH LIEK FOLOW3D US!!!! ...BFORA!!!!!11!11111!11!1111111!11!!!111111! WTF LOL WA LAAEV U M3 AND MBR WANT U 2 RAP3AT DA PHRAES DO YA SMOKA IT DO YA DRINK IT OVAR AND OV3R AND OV3R IN UR HAADS..NIGHT!!!!!!!!!1!!1!!!1!11 NIGHT
When I was too young to go to school, around 5, cuz we didnt have kindergarten, me and some friends stomped a big snake to death. The old lady who ran the daycare gave us holy hell, and impressed upon me the senselessness of our attack. We had felt like warriors, and then I felt like a murderer. Snakes are wise, they are on the symbol for medicine, and for money $. The serpent enlightened the first people, and for a long time snakes were considered symbols of wisdom. Of course now they are associated with the goat legged, horned god, no wait thats Pan, now they are the devils minions. Funny how that works. Ride the snake, to the lake, the ancient lake baby, the snake is long, seven miles, ride the snake, he's old, and his skin is cold...... I have saved a couple of snakes lives since that early snake hunting party, so I think I have atoned for it.
well i threw some sticks at it as well....you should never trust us with freakin sticks...its like a death wish. The snake was poisonous anyways...dont think it was wise. THANKS GEORGE IT WAS THE SINGLE MOST AWESOME THING EVER. Friggin old lady thought we smoked febreeze.
hahah this whole damn time you thought i was a dude....how freakin sweet is that...i shouldnt have said I was a girl...well now you now
