I'm doomed to be alone :(

one of my best friends right now is someone i dated for 2 years. we were really serious, and i broke up with him because it was more serious than i wanted with him. but we were able to stay friends because we didn't fuck after the break-up, and we gave it awhile afterwards before we started hanging out togehter again. it was awkward at first, and took a long time healing and building a new trust between us, but it was worth the work and the wait.

the guy i left him for, however, there was no way we could have had a friendship. first of all, he had a serious problem with alcohol. secondly, he was way more serious about me than i was about him, and it seemed that every time i got within 10 feet of him, i'd totally break his heart. but what complicated things the most, was that i kept sleeping with him. and it was really, really hard for me to quit that, because, let's face it, he was totally great in bed. but it totally ruined things.

if you think you can be friends with this woman and not want to throw her down and ravage her every time you see her, then back off for just a little while, don't see her, but give it some time. but if you think the desire for sex will be too strong, then maybe it's best to just not see her at all.

in the meantime, well, i can't tell you how to heal. avoid sex and women for a little while, or you're going to find yourself in a dysfunctional, co-dependent rebound relationship that will just mess with your head. give yourself some time to heal, but don't try to fight the pain. crying into the stuffed pink bunny is a good start. what we women usually do is eat all the chocolate we can get our hands on, cry on each other's shoulders, and watch johnny depp movies while comiserating about why real men can't be like sam in benny & joon. then, after a few boxes of kleenex, and maybe a gained pound or two, we're ready to move on.

 

Sounds to me like she's playing you, toying with you and leading you on.

Probably gives her pleasure to know you'd fuck her despite her breaking up with you.

Stop hanging around her, resist her, and shred that pink bunny dude, or else you're just going to end up the laughs in a conversation with her friends.

 

I want to stay away from her but I can't I'm scared she'll be mad if I say we can't be friends. I feel so dependant on her, and I have no ones shoulder to cry on. And I'm so scared that theres no one else out there for me.

*sigh* I'm pathetic.

I tried contacted some of my friends that I had before our relationship and they basically said they were too busy to be my friend anymore.

So I should get rid of all the stuff she's given me?

 

Well I've dealt with this type of situation. I fell inlove with my ex boyfriend Josh, so hard and when he dumped me it was sooo hard, I felt so helpless because I was dependent on him for so long. I mean he had given me a ring, toys, and stuff. It was hard for me to deal with, but after getting rid of all the things he gave me, pictures, and stuff. Talking to some of my close friends I felt alot better about myself and decided I didn't need him to breathe. And I know you don't either so I say get rid of the things she's given you, or put them away in a safe place where you won't be tempted to go to and talk to people you are close to, friends, parents (surprisingly mine were very helpful), and syblings. They could really do you some good, or write. I will be glad to talk to you if you need to. IM me sometime my AIM sn is in my profile.

love.
chelsea

 

Just recently I've built a hatred towards people, they disgust me. Is this normal, is it caused from this break up?
But any pain ever caused to me was because of humans, humans are a sick race. I truely hope when I go to bed tonight that I don't wake up. I just don't care anymore. I have nothing but respect for you all as you've tried so hard to help me giving me your opinions but its useless I'm just a moody eratic crybaby, a birth defect, I wasn't meant to be born.
I feel raped by all those who had once loved me and theres nothing left, its simply not worth going on anymore. Even if I had chosen to live my life whats the point? To meet other people so they can rape me for all I'm worth. Everyone has there breaking point and I've reached mine. I love you all and thanks for your attempt to help me.

Peace, Love, Empathy,
The Suicide Samurai

 

You can't let this girl do this to you. Believe me, I have been where you are now. suicide attempts, counseling trips and antidepressants. It's not worth it, don't give into it. I mean I know I felt like the world was against me, and I was useless, not meant to be born or anything like that. But once you are yourself again I am sure this wouldn't cross your mind. I'm on antidepressants and I know where you will end up, please rethink your thoughts and actions. Best of luck.

love.
chelsea

 

Let me tell you, no girl is worth your life. Love is a choice my friend, just realize this, and let things go. You will find another love, we always do. Dont worry and have fun with your life. it will get better

 

Well, it's obvious. Keep one memento and throw all the other shit away.

You're letting her take advantage of you because you're scared of being alone.

When you quit drugs you dont keep syrringes and coke around the house and stay friends with your dealer right? Obviously you keep away. And in this situation it's what's right.

 

But I was depressed before I met this girl. Maybe I'm back to my old self? Either way I don't see what life has to offer me.

 

And to what does death offer you? Why is a female the only thing that can create hapiness in your life? Sometimes things are better without the significant other.

I mean this in the nicest way, not attacking you Its just my general opinion of people that want to hurt themselves.

I think people that kill them selves are the most selfish people in the world, and definatly get no respect from me.

As It were I sense a very good natured person about yourself. Life has so many beautiful things to see and look at, so many things can make you happy other then women, give it time. Things WILL Work out I know this

 

Death offers relief. Why is a female the only thing that brings happiness? I can't answer that I really do know, but what I do know is it is the only thing that has ever brought me happiness along with sorrow and pain.

I know your not attacking me, maybe I'm am selfish but I won't care when I'm dead will I? I would love your respect but I don't think I will be able to obtain it. Sorry.

Your the first person to ever call me good natured.

Whats the most painless way to go out?

 

Relief to whom? Your family? No, they'll be hurt. Your friends? Your ex? No.

Come on, man. Grow scruples and get over her. No girl or guy is worth this much depression and suicide. That's just plain dumb IMO. Don't mean to be cruel but its true.

Least painless way? Move on! Get away from her!

Get some help dude. Seriously.

 

Aye Bro go out to the club tonight and have some fun!

 

I'm only 17, I can't get into clubs. And what exacly is help that people always think I need?

 

lol oh... Well if anything, I'd like to see you try... try and help yourself. Like I said things can get a little rough... yes. We always make it through somehow... never should you quit.

 

No one will be hurt if I'm gone. My friends? What friends? My ex, Pft she obviously doesn't care right? My family my dads always at work he won't notice and my moms an alcoholic that had a child(my brother which I've never met) in Boston last I checked. No one will notice.

 

i do think it would matter if you were gone. whether you have it set in your mind or not. i mean i don't know you that well and i would miss you if you were gone.

love.
chelsea

 

Well I confronted her about the sex and how she said it meant nothing. I told her it was like she shattered my already broken heart and she apologised. I told her it was unforgivable. I also told her we couldn't be friends anymore because we fight almost everytime we talk and cause I still have feelings for her. She said I overreacted and she ended up twisting everything around and before I knew it was telling her how much I still love her and think about her.

Am I a loser or what?

 

we are all lonely.....oh wait, that's just me. (suddenly feels more alone)

 

Aye, that we are. :-(