musicians or athletes / relationships

my now EX ha ha classic has a theory that it's stupid to try a serious relationship with either serious musicians or athletes.. as their true love belongs to either their music or sport... and it's kind of true for me... instead of staying home with her and spending quiet evenings watching TV I was always out jamming with the boys in the band... She didn't like the band... the band didn't like her.... anyways... I'd catch shit from both sides cuz i'd come home from practice too tired, drunk, and stoned to "do" anything... or I'd stay home and the band misses out on a vocalist and a guitar player... honestly I'd rather become one with a band musically during a night of wild partying with the boys than stay at home with the old lady for a night of monogomous sex.. at the same time I did love her ALOT!!!... it was the first time in my young life that i had a real relationship with somebody and I worked DAMN hard to keep it alive for 2 years.... but the whole time my heart was also into the music.... anyways... long story short the stress of the band the girlfriend and the substance abuse made me skip town and now i have NOTHING... anybody else have anything to add??
any girls here that dated musicians or athletes before??
any musicians or athletes that have had similar experiences??

 

I think her "theory" is more than slightly biased. Whenever you get involved with anyone who has an interest in anything, there are going to be times you have to share them with their interest. You have two choices, then:

1) Join them, learn about their interest & make it something you can do together, or
2) Get a hobby of your own, and each enjoy your separate space sometimes.

Either works out really well. While it's not unreasonable for her to want time with you, it IS unreasonable for her to (seemingly, from your post) want to keep you from your music/band all the time. Honestly, not that I'm trying to talk trash about your x, but it sounds like she wasn't mature enough to actually be in a relationship. Why do people think that the moment they become part of a couple, the other person is supposed to give up their whole life??

 

a woman that would take you away from your band is indeed evil.

missing practice fucking sucks man.

the key is finding a woman that is into music as much as you are.


like sonny an cher

 

She just saying that she needs your attension and feels that nothing should be superior to her at least in your mind which is selfish on her part. But she just asking you to make a descion and it sounds like you chose the band. So i guess you like the band better then you liked her even if you liked both things alot sometimes people force you to make decision. Personally, with no experance about your choiced, i think the band was a better choice because if she making you decide between the band and her then that already is promblem for both of you and someone you gonna have a future with would'nt put u through that and if you ditched your band then you prombaly end up later when you dumbed her or she dumped you with no girl and no band.

 

I've been doing this a long time. I have a long standing relationship with musician that I've been friends with since 1979 & lived with since 1/99.. I wish all band wives could be like me.. Here is the advice I give them.. A)- They must remember that their drinks are Free. The bar bimbos (or somebody) are paying for their drinks. It's your Job to smile and ignore them while they try to give your man their phone number. if he's decent he'll turn it down, throw it away or give it to you. It's his Job to take it and keep the customer happy. It's your job to get them on the dance floor. B)- It's your job to dance with the drunk old men that nobody else will dance with. They are the ones spending money. Let them buy you a drink. Guys like dancing with the band chicks,because we are the best looking and we are safe. After they dance with the band chick other chicks see them in a different light and they pick up girls better. I help guys out this all the time. (again this helps sell drinks) .C)-You're supposed to be the one flagging in the customers into the bar when you see them in the street deciding whether to come in or not. If there is a row of bars , the people are going to go in where the hot chicks are smiling and dancing, not sitting and frowning.. If you can't be happy don't be there. D) - remember the best looking chicks are at the first table. Doll up!! Be the queen !! Have fun with it!! E) Don't expect your man to spend his entire break with you. It's good PR for the band to mingle., LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- If you can't trust your musician man to come with you or to you - dump him. It don't have anything to do with being a musician, he'd be a jerk regardless.. ....................... These are the basics.. It helps if you can do their HTML, help run sound and let them practice in the basement.. Heck they split my bar tab and my man always buys me something pretty or breakfast afterwrds.. Peace Love

 

A) Don't expect to make a girlfriend out of a bar bimbo, they will be jealous B) If you can't be faithful, just don't have a girlfriend. Didn't you learn to play to get chicks anyway? C) Don't date chicks who are impressed with your musiciandom. They will be jealous... Artists, musicians daughters, and Aquarians make good bandwives. D) When you get paid at the end of the night, reward a good band wife with a meal, a gift or a $20, depending on what you made......JOKE -- Q) WHAT DO YOU CALL A DRUMMER WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND? A)HOMELESS Peace Love

 

Soory babem but I disagree, dont do their html, its a nice gesture but its too easy to become too involved...

trust me.

 

thanks RetroGroove Girl but you're too late to save me .. I've been doing the HTML for local bands for six years.. My fee is no cover charge and a drink a set.. My man's drummer died so it's the first time he's been bandless (same band even) since the early 80's.. The PA belongs to us.. I'm sure he'll start something up. My best Buddies band in on hiatus while the bass player is in rehab.. They've had the same band for 10 yrs and they alll practice in my basement. I'm babbling now so here's the site http://www.angelfire.com/wv2/luv2draw20000/neybob.html Peace Love