I'm not sure if this has ever been posted before, but what is your take on polyamoury? In today's "Christian" society (and I may be wrong) we are taught to believe that being with more than one person is wrong and call it cheating. I have never cheated on my husband, and do not intend to, but at the same time, I once considered polyamoury. The idea of my husband being with someone else didn't bother me as much as I suspected and I have never been with anyone other than him (we're highschool sweethearts ) and at the time I was curious as to what it would be like to be with someone else. We discussed it and he gave a firm "No, not ever" so it won't ever happen on my side. But I find it interesting and think it's a feasable lifestyle, if two people are mature and comfortable enough with their relationship. Comments? Opinions? Etc? Bright Blessings! Aphrodite Pretty
Personally I couldn't imagine being in a polyamourous relationship, but that's just me personally. I don't think it's "cheating" if both people know and are alright with it.
If Both people were okay with it... Then I say fine.. To each his own... But most people at some point have tendansy to get jelous.... I would not be willing to be in Polyamourous relationship... I know it could never handle somethings so intense... I know my man loves me.. But the thought of him loving someone else hurts me... But hell if everyones okay with it theres nothing wrong with it..
Well, I think monoamoury (is that right?) is the "natural" condition. That is, if you look at animals, two animals get it on, and then stay together, at least until the young can fend for themselves. (Except in the odd case of females that eat the males after mating.) Though, that doesn't mean I disagree with polyamoury. I think that polyamoury is just fiine, and should satisfy the same conditions as monoamoury: That all parties involved agree and are okay with polyamoury. So I don't think polyamoury is just as natural as monoamoury, but I do think there is nothing wrong with it by any means.
naw, not my cup of tea. I'm a hardcore monogamist - I just don't share well (romantically share, friendships are fine and dandy). But I know a couple who, while married, is polyamorous (I even helped decorate for their wedding, heh... friends of my mother). To each their own, so long as everyone is consenting
I think that society should stop teaching children that it is "wrong" and "dirty" because it is a lifestyle, just like homosexuality. Some people out there are just not fulfilled with one partner. Most of the time, men are the ones who aer interested in polyamory. If they find a laid-back woman enough to be ok with that, then I think it's just fine. Rarely though, do you find more women who are polyamourus than men. Women are programmed to want to be with one mate. Men are not to inclined to do so. Centuries ago, men had sex with lots of women for survival of mankind. It was instinct. I think a part of that still lies somewhere in a male's brain.
If one party is unaware, then it's not polyamory.. . it's cheating. Polyamory requires total honesty with all your partners -- and, of course, the mutual consent of all parties in the relationship. -- Skeeter
i think there are two different kinds of polyamoury. the first is iris murdoch style. i was fascinated by this concept of polyamoury for a while, though never a true participant in it (i was more into bouncing from person to person and back again without strong attachments, somewhat like having multi-partners, but i always kept them separate). when it came down to people i dated, but did not love, the thought of sharing would have been more acceptable (providing there was some magical dust i could sprinkle to ensure that i wouldn't catch any diseases). but, then i fell madly in love with my best friend and i cannot share him. nor do i feel that i should share that part of me with others. i think polyamoury in this sense leads to developing a nature that is far too protean to sustain a relationship with an other that will be healthy for both the self and the other; also, each relationship would be slightly less than whole. you would become proteus. the other type is what i associate with hardcore (though definitely not all) mormons and cults. now, i'm not too familiar with this sort, so i might offend people with my ignorance, and i appologize ahead of time. but in the more "religious" forms, there is one man and multi women, which seem to basically be baby-machines, and when they are not pregnant they seemingly wait on their husband hand and foot. of course, these are the images i've gotten from the media, three women all in the kitchen together cooking madly, while the man props his feet up in front of the tv. and the women frown and hide their suffering and look to the man to answer, "i'm doing this for god!" and as for animals in the wild, there is little monogamy to be found, except for among ducks and a few other animals. but whoever corrected this person by saying that males often mate with more than one female only showed half the story... the other half is that many females mate with more than one male to ensure that the best, strongest sperm inseminates her egg. assuming that men are inclined to polyamoury, and women are not, is detremental.
Nice that there is this kind of thread. I was about to ask about it myself. I am "polyamoury". That means that to me there is nothing wrong with being in a sexual relationship with more than one person, but it doesn't mean that there should be more than one person. I agree that both should be aware of the nature of the relationship, but also in the sense that it should not be obvious to be monoamoury. I don't think monoamoury relationship is especially natural. And I don't really think that all who speak pro-monoamour are being honest, with themselves or with others. Even if there is some who really feels monoamour is natural, I think most who say so are just too scared or otherwise unable to open their minds, just conservative, or too much living in their abstract reality and not facing the real world, how they really feel about it. We are just taught all our lives to behave in such a way: to get angry if the partner has sex with someone else or we have to be hurt. We have just learned how we are supposed to react. Many times that's the only reason why we act the way we do. It's not that it's especially natural. I don't want to be anyone's boyfriend and have a girlfriend(although I actually am and have). Why can't there just be friends and friendship and sex as part of friendship. Like if I have a friend I don't tell him/her not to have other friends, why should I? What is then so different about sex that there you cannot do it with someone else? Why does it hurt so? I think at least many times it's because people build in their minds this kind of place of refuge which is the relationship and the other person and that's why people become too attached to this idea of a relationship that they believe they can't be happy without it. And when the relationship ends they actually are very unhappy and think their happiness went with the relationship. But it's like building some dream castles. To me friendship is about love. And this love doesn't care about boundaries. It doesn't think that this is mine, not yours. The better friends some two people are, the less there is boundaries between them and the more there is trust and sharing. I never feel good about boundaries with friends. It makes a distance between friends. I'm not saying that love is just about sex or that sex is everything. This monoamour just doesn't fit in my thick skull. I'm also a bit surprised to see in this hippy forums so much this kind of pro-monoamour athmosphere. To me it's one of these taboos which we don't need and which they were protesting in the hippy-era. I want to break this taboo on my part. It is ok to love many people, have more than one friend and have sex with the ones you love.
I most heartily concur. I have always been polyamorous throughout my adult life. Being bisexual, polyamory is quite natural to me. Indeed, while I know that not all bisexuals are polyamorous, I personally cannot fathom how one can be bisexual and NOT be capable of loving, at minimum, two partners (one of each gender) at the same time. Monogamy for bisexuals is as incomprehensible to me as being gay or bisexual is to an arch-homophobe. -- Skeeter
My friend and I have had that kind of relationship for 7 years now. THe weird thing is its the way we love each other that makes it ok. We have always slept together, but never been exclusive, we have been in other relationships that are exclusive, where we don't have sex while we are with certain people and other relationships we don't seem to care, so when his girlfriends get jealous of my relationship w/ him its weird cause I am actually sharing him w/ them only they don't know that. Its sooo confusing. It works for us though, but I am with someone who I hope to mary, he has another girlfriend as I have my other b.f. but when he ends it w/ her, I shall end it with my sex friend. It can work, it just depends on your relationship.
First of all, hello to the fellow NIU-area hippy woman! My mom got her bachelor's there! (parents live in Plano now). Second, if both people are secure enough in their relationship to be able to handle polyamory, then that is an individual decision by them. I, myself, could not enter a relationship based on trust, love, and emotional longing with them, then turn around and share my body--the one I am devoting to them--with someone else, and would be shattered if she did the same to me. But I am a solely monogamous person, so perhaps that is the reason I close my mind to things like that.
I am all for a threesome -- with two other women. Maybe I am selfish but I don't want any other guy to have anything to do with my woman.
