What do you think guys prefer?

... virgins? or more "experienced" women? If a guy you were dating asked you if you were a virgin, would you tell him the truth?

Guys have asked me this question. i usually dodge the question and at the same time lost respect for him. To me, a guy who asks a girl this question, whether he does it directly or indirectly, is most likely after one thing (you know.)

I have asked my close guy friends which they prefer but none of them have answered me seriously. I guess they don't really care... or may be they do.

But, from your experiences with boyfriends and such, what do you women think?

-Beetle

 

i dont think if they ask they are single minded. differnt guys prefer different things

 

i always tell the truth. it's just a part of who you are, and not a very important part. experienced or not, it doesn't mean you're going to be compatible in bed, or out.

 

if i was dating a guy and he asked me if i was a virgin i would tell him the truth. i dont try to dodge the question at all. im a virgin and im ok with that. theres no good reason to lie about it and lying would only complicate things.

i dont necessarily think just because a guy asks the question means hes only after one thing. its quite possible that he may ask out of pure curiousity.

 

Hmmmm. I guess i just date sex-crazed guys.

 

i think it depends upon the age of the virgin in question. if you're young, especially in the high school age range, there's nothing odd about still being a virgin. if a 14-year old just wants to get laid, s/he might go after the middle-school slut to achieve such goals, cause s/he doesn't think s/he'll be as likely to get anywhere with the average 14 year old virgin. likewise, if someone is 55 and a virgin, people might consider that odd. people also have a lot of double standards about virginity -- it is more acceptable for a female to remain a virgin than a male. female virgins are sometimes considered extremely desirable and pure, whereas male virgins are stereotyped as feminine and weak. there are also negative stereotypes of female virgins, but those mostly apply to older virgins. the older virgin ladies are stereotyped as being prudish, conservative, inexperienced, and clingy/needy/possessive/overly attached. it also depends if either person has religious conflicts, as some people don't believe in sex before marriage, so to them i'm sure it would matter.

 

I hate virgins

 

hate is such a strong word.

I tell the truth, if he doesn't like the truth, hes not for me

 

I dont think it matters really... To some Im sure.... a Super religous person probably prefers a virgin...

 

I don't see why it would be a problem to ask if you've had sex before or not, even if the two of you aren't in the sex place yet. It's an interesting part of a persons most inner self, why shouldn't he know about it? I'm not saying he should ask every single detail lol cos that's rude... but if you're in a relationship, I'd say it's his business. Especially if you guys are thinking about knocking boots - he may want to know if you've been tested, etc. Now, if you're not in a relationship with them and they're just asking if you're a virgin, that's just uncalled for...

 

whether it's okay to ask someone if they're a virgin depends on a couple things. on one hand, it's interesting to find out about people, in line with what super_grrl said. and like she said, it's good for both people to know about the sexual history of the other so they can evaluate their risk for stds. but at the same time, that can be a real bad question to ask someone who you do not know very well.

how does a rape victim (who has never had consensual sex) feel when asked about her virginity, by someone she is only getting to know? no matter how/what s/he answers, the bad feelings have already been brought back up.

it's only "okay" to ask that question to someone for whom the answer is easy and acceptable. "yes i am, and i would like to remain one at this point, as i was born HIV positive," isn't going to be a comfortable first date topic.

not everyone gets to explicitly choose whether or not to have sex for the first time, and i don't think that just saying that 'it's an interesting way to get to know someone' recognizes the sensitivity involved for some people. those of us who can talk about it lightheartedly are lucky, indeed.

 

I don't know what guys prefer. I think it depends on the guy. Some guys like vrgins because she's a "nice" and "pure" girl. Some like them for religious reasons and others for not so nice reasons.

 

Well, me personally, I've always felt that sex should wait for love (not necessarily marriage). I could've lost my virginity earlier than I did, but I wanted to save it for someone whom I loved. And I believe that was the right decision for me, and I've always looked for and had more respect for women with similar values (nice and pure, if you will). I don't really care if a woman has had sex with past boyfriends because at least I know that there was some feeling behind the action. But it's hard for me to respect people who just can't control their horniness and fuck anything that moves.

However, I can't truthfully say that if the first person who was interested in sleeping with me had been drop-dead gorgeous and NOT in love with me that I would have turned her down. But I probably would have tried to start a relationship with her first to see if the love was there.

And yeah, I had a semi-religious upbringing.

 

Well I know that I prefer to be with someone who hasn't been around the *whole* block and back so to speak. I loose respect for men who *give it up* to every girl they see...if they've been with a whole lot of women sexually then it's a total turn off for me so I would assume that it would be a turn off for a guy if a women has been with alot of men. However, what constitutes alot is going to differ from person to person but I think there is a general concenseous. The only real people I've shared "my number" with were actual boyfriends. I haven't been asked just casually too many times. And I don't think it's any of your business unless I'm going to sleep with you and vice versa. But about a year ago I went out on a "date" with this guy I had just met like that same day and toward the end of the night we on a couch talking (I wasn't really that into him anyway) and he said "can I ask you a personal question?" I said sure because I thought it would be somthing maybe relating to religion or something like that and he said "how many people have you slept with?" I told him politely that it was none of his business and shortly thereafter made an excuse to leave. Plus if a guy asks you that quickly into knowing you I assume he's just trying to get a feel for whether or not he might have a chance at bagging you at the end of the night I can't stand guys like that.

 

if i was a chick i wouldnt give up the V card just so guys liked me. in fact you should only do what you want to do when it comes to sex, not what other people think you should do.

 

It depends on the guy. Different guys like different things. I for one do not ask about past sexual history...as long as they're with me at that time, nothing else matters. I've had virgins and women with lots of sexual history come after me, and I treated all of them with the same amount of respect.

 

To be honest, virginity is a form of purity, and I would think for many guys this is a very attractive trait for a woman. I am turned off by women who cheapen sex and act like men (excuse me if this sounds sexist!).

On the other hand, the girl I first lost my virginity to was what I would consider promiscuous (she was "easy"). I think she was that way because she was insecure, although she was a good girl. I think often of her and sometimes wish I could go back in time to enjoy my moments with her more fully. Even if she were no longer as cute due to aging, I still feel something for her. Too bad we cannot relive our moments and correct our errors!

For those girls who are virgins, I say don't worry about it. Nothing wrong with it. Don't let your sex life be cheapened by peer pressure. For those who have had a lot of sex, well, nothing wrong with that either, although, all other things equal, I think it's best to be a little hard to get.

 

I have nothing against people who want to save their virginity for marriage or even just that "special someone", but if you won't date me because I've had sex and I love sex, well..it's your loss!!

 

No, I wouldn't tell a guy that I was just dating, information such as that. It really is none of his business. However, if he and i decided that our relationship should be more serious, then yes, I would tell him.
I agree with you QuietBeetle, if a guy asks a girl that on a date, he probably is interested in a little more interested in her sex life than he is in her.