this is bullshit!

ok, last saturday, i was driving to my house with a co-worker of mine (i cant drive yet) who ive had a crush on for 3 years. well, long story short, i ended up giving road-head. the first two days after that happend, i was on cloud nine. i mean, i fufilled my fantasy after three years! but after the high wore off, i started getting really bad mood swings, and im deeply depressed. im not sure what bothers me about what happend, but maybe the fact that hes 18 and im 15 is it. i dont know. i havent even talked to him since (ill see him sun.) i think ive fallen for a strait guy advice on how to deal with this?

 

hmmm, thats a tough one. . .

Are you worried about how he will react when he sees you? You knew going in that this wouldn't lead to a relationship, I guess. . .

 

yeah, i knew. shit, this town is so small, and every person in it is homophobic to some extent. but the thing is, i think hes in the closet. it was his idea to do it. i am a little scared to see him. IT SUCKS LIVING HERE!! i cant have the relationship that i want. ive dated all the girls that i like, but the relationship just doesnt work out. ive found that i click better with guys, but i can never date in this town. it will always just be flings like this. i didnt know i would fell this way when i did it.

 

If it was his idea, I wouldn't worry about it. You had fun, now its over. . .

You won't be 15 forever. You will be able to get out of your town. Don't take life too seriously.

 

Hey, I understand how you feel..."road-head" sounds really sexy and all but it's not the ideal first experience. Of course some people get off on these kind of illicit sex, but it's a different story if you have the option of doing it at other places too! Otherwise it can make you feel kinda cheap..

But like PhotoGra1 said, it's just one experience..take it as such and enjoy. It's not always going to be this way.

 

At least you'll be able to look back and be like, "I was one crazy dude" and atleast you can feel like you had a wild fun random time in your youth when your older hey and go team! its better then nothing!!!
peace, love and understanding

 

hey, just to let you all know, im doing much better. that guy is picking me up again. i know i wont get a relationship, but whats wrong with flings? im just going to have fun with it. im not taking it to seriously. thank you all for giving me advice. you really helped me get out of that little "funk".