First time, Does it hurt?

Lawngirl, I've had a ton of sex and I've never had a condom break. Perhaps you used the wrong size? I don't know. They're made with latex, and it would much rather stretch than break. Did you check their expiration dates? They're supposedly worthless after a year or two. Maybe I'm just lucky. I rarely let boys play rough, though. I'm a lover, not a fighter!

As for the hymen, it usually doesn't hurt to bust it. I broke mine horseback riding, when I was about nine or ten. I didn't even notice for a couple hours. We thought it was my first period, but it was only a little blood and never happened again. (My mom, Grandma and Aunt Connie all had a heck of a time explaining that one to me.) Some women have twenty babies without ever getting their hymens popped. It's really nothing to worry about, but everyone is different.

It may hurt somebody else, but from my experince losing the virginity was about the most akward, uncomfortable, simple, and breathtaking thing I've ever done. I had no idea what to do, so I just laid there and let my older, experienced lover do what he felt was right. I looked up at the tree tops set against the night sky and just breathed. It felt uncomfortable at first, but after a minute or two, that was over. I relaxed. It felt good, but from a distance, which I can't explain. It felt like the memory of a good feeling, even as it occured. When it was over, I felt disillusioned, but not entirely in a bad way. Like I had been lied to, without resenting it. I was proud of myself for doing it. I was glad I had waited as long as I did, yet glad that I didn't wait any longer. I told my lover that he would be the only one, forever.
Eight years and fourteen lovers later, I still look for his face in every crowd. They say you always remember your first. I hope so. He wasn't perfect for me. We had problems. Our relationship only lasted four months, instead of the eternity we both vowed. The only pain came from the ensuing emotional whirlwind. That hurt like hell. It damn near killed me, but I'm a better person for having the experience.

 

okay, all i meant about condoms breaking is that they do break.. just because you've never had a condom break doesn't mean that others are inept. i'm not sexually retarded.

and i think you missed the greater point i was making, 'cause you definitely took my quote out of context. i was trying to encourage her to use another form of birth-control, not just condoms. condoms are not the most trustworthy form of birth control, and recommending that she use a back up method was meant to be a positive thing. that's all!

 

Thanks lawngirl, you have been really helpful. Any suggestions how to get birth control and not letting someone find out?

 

my best advice would be to invite me over, and ill explain everything to you in person.

 

My first (and only as of yet) time hurt like hell, but that's also because it wasn't a wanted action. I was turned on at first, but then the guy kind of forced himself onto me and I couldn't stop him. :\

Just make sure you're relaxed and you're really with the person you want to give your virginity to. Otherwise, it's going to hurt more than normal. Every girl is different anyway, I happen to be very small down there so I'm naturally inclined to hurt more rather than girls who are "normal" sized (whatever that may be..). As long as there is open communication and trust between you both, the pain won't be bad, or maybe even nonexistant. Normally the pain might only last for a minute until you're used to having him inside you, but after that it should get better. At worst you'll be sore the next day.

And on birth control- I'm pretty sure you can get them from Planned Parenthood, but if you do decide to go on the pill, make sure you have a regular, constant supply because once you go off of them, your body can go all out of whack.

 

And on birth control- I'm pretty sure you can get them from Planned Parenthood, but if you do decide to go on the pill, make sure you have a regular, constant supply because once you go off of them, your body can go all out of whack.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the advice with only doing it with the right person, I think I need to discover who that person is still because some shit has been going on latley with this guy and I dunno anymore. But if I go on birth control how long do I need to go on it for and when I wanna come of it any advice? I'm kinda new to the whole birth control thing as you know never had the need to bother. Thanks for the advice!
Peace and Love,
Kimmy

 

kdhippy, just wondering how old you are, if you don't mind me asking?

My first time wasn't too painful, just a little bit and only for a short period of time.. it was generally ok, and I didn't really bleed.
However, it was a 1 night stand, and someone I didn't know, so he couldn't really care about me as a person. He was nice enough, but I still felt quite "empty" afterwards. My own fault, 'cause I just wanted to get it over & done with at 22 years of age. I felt like it was about time I did. I don't really regret it, but I do wish that my first time was with someone who really cared about me, so I wouldn't have felt like I was giving away a part of myself that was important, to someone who didn't really appreciate it. Hope that makes sense?!
You don't want some guy to take advantage of you, and take away a part of you that is quite sacred, unless you know that he cares & appreciates the fact, you know?

That being said, if you're comfortable with the reasons you're doing it & with the choice of partner, sex is quite a bit of fun!

 

My first time didn't hurt and I didn't bleed...plus I was with the right person (he's still my boyfriend) and I was ready and relaxed.
You can wait for the right person (it'll make it super special), or do it with this guy you're talking about...it's up to you, but it happens once, and regrets are painful. And use a condom!!

 

If you have doubts, don't do it. I know that sounds silly but I had doubts that I viewed as minor my first time and it's ended up to be something I wish with all my heart I hadn't done.

 

well good luck gurly! and all these ppl are right, i think the key is to just relax, dont look upon it as 'right, im gonna lose my virginity tonight' otherwise it will become a chore. just get caught up in the moment but make sure hes got on a condom! and as for the pain thing, as long as he starts of gentle it shouldnt be too bad. and as some1 sed previously, fingering for a while before helps to 'loosen you up' so to speak. and most important of all ENJOY IT! jennyflower x

 

my first time didnt hurt but a while ago i had a brief fling with a guy who was significantly larger thn n e other id seen and tht hurt at first so it really depends

 

My first time hurt. But I think it was because I was concentrating too much on the pain and therefore, tensed up.
My second time, I felt more relaxed and wasn't focusing on expecting to feel it. I will admit however, that I still felt some pressure during the penetration and a tiny bit of pain as it went in deeper.
Do you use tampons? Because before, tampons would hurt like hell for me.

 

My first time didn't hurt