I really wanna see what its like

You know I was alwayssuch a square.I was avirgin until I met my girlfriend
4 years ago.Poor me.It was with her i began going to dance clubs and to change my look etc and started having sex.We broke up for awhile and i began experimenting with men.Just oral sex and fondling.I told her i thought i was bi and it seemed to please her.In fact we started going out again and she's had no qualms that i go with guys so long as its safe.
she began getting down on me when i began smoking pot and implored
me not to try ecstacy this weekend which i did.I grooved on E this weekend.
She's going on about how much ive changed lol.
The thingis,theres this guywho wants to fuck me.Ive never had anal sex before,but i really want to.Im sure i will.
Should I tell my girlfriend before or after that im going to get fucked by a guy?
I think she'll breakup with me either way.Im bisexual but right now i feel like
im leaning more to men.
Peace

 

ok. being bisexual doesnt mean you can have both at once. it just means you're attracted to both males and females. i know, you said your girlfriend's fine with it so long as its safe, but i get the feeling you're playing around with guys in the name of your bisexuality.

ok, granted you're still finding yourself, but you have to keep your girlfriend's feelings in mind when you do. she comes first when it comes to love and sex - otherwise you wouldnt be with her... right?

i think you should definately tell her before hand. no question. if you dont, its cheating. and im sure she wouldnt appreciate that. if you think she'll leave you because of it, you might need to consider what you want more - her, or one night doing something that can wait until you have her consent or you're at least out of a relationship.

goodluck with it all.

 

I was going to say aomething about this, but Defence put it perfectly. I totally agree. The girlfriend comes first. Or are you willing to throw away the relationship over a sexual romp with someone else? Maybe you should figure out what's really important to you before going through with something like this. Just consider the consequences of your actions and be prepared to accept them.

 

Hey.. and besides.. there are enough options these days to explore analsex wìth your girl.. right? If you love her and you just want to explore that sort of sex, then why don't do it together.. I'm thinking toys here...?

Or is this weird somehow?

 

I am not sure if you are saying that you think she is going to break up with you if you have anal with a guy or you just think she is going to break up with you no matter what. I can't always read between the lines.

From the rest of your message I am somewhat wondering why you think she would break up with you over your having anal though. You said "I told her i thought i was bi and it seemed to please her.In fact we started going out again and she's had no qualms that i go with guys so long as its safe." In that it sounds like she is OK with it but wants you to play safely. You say something about it pleased her, talking with her can reveal more about that. Did she ever say she thought anal was somehow excluded? As long as condoms & lubrication are being used it is pretty safe. To my thinking for her to break up with you for having anal but not for other play doesn't make much sense. You do have to ask yourself in that case if you are willing to deny yourself anal with a guy because she doesn't want you to. It is different in my experience with the real thing.

Is she really more concerned with your drug use? From what you say "she began getting down on me when i began smoking pot and implored
me not to try ecstacy this weekend which i did.I grooved on E this weekend.
She's going on about how much ive changed lol." I get that that is more likely the issue.

Like I said before I don't always read between the lines well but over all I can tell you are comfortable being bi. Good for you. You are concerned about loosing your girlfriend. Communication! Communication! Communication! If there is anything I know about relationships it is that you have to communicate. You have to understand each other. You have to be honest to each other & yourselves.

If she is going to break up with you over the drugs that is far different than breaking up with you having sex with guys. Get to the bottom of those two questions & you at least will be reading out out of the same page so to speak. I think she accepts your being bi for what that's worth.

Good luck your true path will show itself.

 

Yeah, I agree with the stuff everyone else says. And you know what? IF you don't tell her before (or just don't do the sex thing. I mean, losing a great relationship is NOT worth a few minutes of screwing around. Trust me.), I will smack you!

Which is worse? "Hey honey, I want to screw a guy." or "Hey honey, I screwed a guy and cheated on you behind your back, even though you trusted and loved me."? Exactly. I think the answer to this question is obvious.

 

The thing is we are good friends and the reason I posted this
was becease I was going to tell her before anyway,and I just
needed re[inforcement from other people.
The thing is she likes my relationships with men,probably
beceause she's bi herself.I discovered this by accident."Her
long time best friend" visiting etc.lol
She's told me though that only us two should have intercourse together.
We tried a foursome once and I can see it affected her emotionally
even though it was her idea in the first place.she regretted it.
Im willing to experient sexually with several partners and accept
the enevitable std risk,which are there even using condoms,but she won't accept that.
I wouldn't expect her to,but I really wanna go to bed with this guy and
have him fuck me.I just don't know how I'll tell her.
Sometimes I think she's scared of me getting too open about bisexuality and it'll 'out' her.
But I feel we could break up and still stay friends.
Peace

 

But is this sexual act worth throwing away a good relationship? Do you really want to throw away the connection and bond you have with your partner to fulfill a lustful desire? PLEASE ask yourself that before you go through with this. I'm a bisexual too, but I would never throw away a potential lifetime of love over a night or two of sex. Just not worth it to me. But that's just me.


Mono

 

good relationship. Ha. Call me bitter, but i'de say just be yourself... if you want to fuck all kinds of people go ahead... theres not hing that says you have to be faithful... (besides other people) just dont trick people an make them think you are.. then u should be fine... i dont exactly know what yer askin for... or what u are just telling us... do what you want... if yoo think its not worth spoiling the relationship than dont do it, but if you dont mind than do it... there are many fish in de see my man.... you can find one as open to free sex as you are.

 

Mui and barefootboy, ever seen the film 'Goldfish Memory', I'm yet to meet anyone who, believing in overthrowing monogamy, hasn't regretted it within a year. Countless people I know feel that they destroyed very intimate bonds that were worth a lot more than sex, one of my friends is pregnant (despite using procautions).

It is, as always, your choice. But it is a choice that I've seen hurt some incredibly open minded people.

 

Yeah, barefoot. .

I would be very careful about what you do in this situation.. I know that you've just started to mess around with guys and that it's an exciting wonderful experience. .

Having said that. . while it's true no one's forcing you to be faithful.. if that was the arrangement with your girl from the beginning. . it's best to tell her before you make any hasty hormonally-based decisions. .

She sounds like a wonderful girl that you could explore and be completely 100% yourself around . . and that's a rarity now-a-days

If you want to explore anal sex with a man. . discuss is with her (I think she's proven that she can handle that open of a conversation). . hell. . she might be totally okay with it. . or she might not. .

But that decision hasn't been left for you yet. . just talk to her. . if she starts throwing ultimatums. . do what your heart says. . but at least talk to her about it first. .

Smoochies!

Jacob.

 

Sometimes I just dont think me and my girlfriend are in the same headspace anymore anyway.I did ecstasy again this weekend.It's the coolest,groovist!
Im just into experimenting.The thing about E,despite the incredible high, is it seems to make you want to grind your jaws together.I was getting pissed off at this,and freaked out.A friend offered me a cigarette and I've never smoked before, but I tried one and it seems to ease this.I smoked all night.Now my
girlfriends like"Now you've started smoking?"Just at me all the time.I only
smoke when I do E.So?She smokes!
Emotionally I have friends who I can lean on,cry to,etc.If Im leaning more
to gay sex,So what.Me and her could breakup and still stay friends.
Peace and Love

 

it sounds like you want to break up with your girlfriend anyway. if the two of you are "not really in the same headspace anymore," you're "leaning more toward guys" and you "really want to get into bed with this guy," and you're planning on sleeping with this guy regardless of your girlfriend's wishes and doing things that bother her with no respect for her opinion, i think it's pretty clear what you want. come on, be honest.

 

She just gets me mad sometimes.She'd never be barefoot beceause she's into her "spike heels",she goes to all the "fashion" shows,smokes cigarettes beceause it's "fashionable",is bisexual beceause it's "fashionable".We've
had some good times,but...

 

so do you want to be with her or not? it sounds to me like you've had enough and you want out but you don't want to be the one to break it off, and you're kind-of-subconsciously trying to throw her off so she'll dump you. either that or the relationship is tired and you're both cranky with each other. break it off while you can still be friends and before you go and do something that will really hurt her. trust me, going and having sex with someone else when she's made it explicitly clear that she doesn't want you to will hurt her.
you really need to know what you want. if you don't know what you want you'll just bumble aimlessly around and screw things up for everyone else, and at the end of the day you still won't get what you want because you never even figured out what it was.
stop beating around the bush, go figure out what you want, and be honest about it.

 

Tell her. Full stop, no ifs, butts (a pun! ...Um yes...sorry..) or maybes. Signing out.

 

My close friends who did E, got big ulcers in their mouths and bite marks on their toungues because of the jaw thing. If you carry on taking it, eventually the effect from one pill won't be as great so you'll need to take more and more. It really fucks you up, it makes you depressed. Maybe take it from time to time in moderation, but don't become dependent on it for a good time. Sorry to lecture, but I've seen the long-term effect it has.

 

*edit* blabla.. hehe.. nevermind.. misread something Carry on folks

 

I find cigarettes help with the jaw thing on E.I don't wanna start smoking
but I kinda like the taste of them now.lol.I'll probably do some more E this
weekend though.Maybe some Acid instead.I haven't tried it yet.I get a good
buzz on pot I just need a change from time to time.
Ive just been fascinated by people who do chemicals every weekend.I just
wanna step into the darkside for awhile. I get so bored working as a waiter.
Peace

 

barefoot... ive been there, done that (was a HUGE raver for 4 yrs.)-

be careful, have fun. those drugs might be better then H and crack, but they're not to be used irresponsibly.


that said... would i take anything back? even though it has fucked me up? nope..... those were the BEST times of my life. i experienced so much and learned so much.

however, when i think about it now... it makes me wanna CRY because even if i wanted to and had the money to, i cant have it back.

because- the happiness on E is not REAL... it's real in a way... what you feel but i believe there's a certain amount allowed to a person and once you use it up, it's gone.