Lately I have noticed that many women are products of modern society. They are hung up on material posessions, and do not have a care in the world when it comes to something other than make up, clothes, their hair or finding a hot guy with a nice car. For some reason these are the only type of women I seem to meet...and I do not want anything to do with them. I feel as if I will never find someone to love, spend quality time with, and to have fun because I will have to settle with someone who just isnt right for me. Am I wrong for staying single? I feel as if I'm missing out here. I'm 21 and have never had a gf because of these reasons. How come everyone else gets to be happy except for me? Am I doing something wrong? I feel like im broken compared to other people my age. Does anyone know what I mean? Sorry for the rant, but this is really getting me down.
I know what you mean and I don't blame you for not wanting anything to do with them. To be honest, I don't think you'd be truly happy even if you were with one of them. In fact, it may be even worse than being single! If it really gets you down that much, try a relationship with one of those superficial girls out....but I don't think you'll find it very rewarding. But when you finally do meet a cool girl, it'll make you appreciate her even more! So no, there is nothing wrong with you and you aren't alone in your distaste for materialism and superficiality....heh, I've gone out on a date before where I told a girl I hated make up and she said she'd "never be caught dead without make-up on"
Oh wow, that's harsh. I hate make up too. If you have to hide behind a mask, you obviously arent happy with yourself, and should set aside time for some serious personal growth. Thanks a lot...your post really meant a lot to me, and made me feel better. As for the relationship, I don't think I could date someone that says the word "like" every 2 seconds, for lack of knowing a proper word. I think I'm going to hold out for a while...and focus on getting to know myself and the world around me as I refuse to lower my dating standards. Thank you.
You will find out there's a lot of people like you here, male and female, and there's guys like the girls you describe. You're right not to give in to the pressure.
The worst part is that most of the girls I see with SO much make up would be so much prettier without it...but I guess they've been culturally conditioned, I dont know. I'm also a FIRM believer in the thought that you have to love and accept yourself before you can love and accept someone else. So definitely keep your eyes and ears open for a cool girl, but in the meantime you should do just what you said...get to know yourself even better - I think energy spent in that way will be more rewarding than dating one of those "like, umm, like" chicks anyway Ah well, I'm almost 24 and in the same boat as you and I don't regret it....but that's because I've dated a couple of those superficial girls Besides, they never wanted to go hiking or camping or skiing or do any of the fun stuff
you may not be looking in the right place, and mayber you shouldnt look for her at all. jus remember one thing, youve waited so long for that special girl, when you find her and marry her, dont cheat on her thinking youve missed out on something out there with women who WILL through themselves at you. your kids will thank you, def
Makeup isn't a mask, it's to accentuate what's already nice about yourself. Mascara draws attention to my eyes, so yeah, I pretty much always wear mascara when I leave the house. It's not insecurity, it's like dressing nice or wearing cute shoes - it just makes you feel a little prettier, it doesn't change who you are. Anyways, there's nothing wrong with being picky. If you just wanted to get laid, you would've gone to the bar and picked up some chick by now. If you truly want to be happy with your partner there's nothing wrong with waiting (and lookign while waiting, not just sitting around) to find the sort of person you truly feel you'll be compatible with.
uhm i wear makeup and im content with the way i look. my personal growth is far enough along to know that caring about the way you look doesnt imply shalowness and having nice clothes doesnt mean im materialistic and if i am so what its not affecting anyone else. i am a good enough person to know that superficialities dont make me superficial. its funny all the people on this site who claim to be hippies just because theyre not coorperate sell outs or they buy second hand clothes but i would be willing to wager that my internal values are stronger than the front that a lot of people put on here.
if all the girls you meet are the materialistic type, as you said in the original post, then maybe you need to look elsewhere to meet different types of people. why are you only meeting materialistic, shallow women? if you're into natural women, get involved with a local eco-feminist group (as long as you're into their issues, of course). if you want someone intelligent, take a philosophy class. if you're trying to meet someone artsy, hang out at a gallery. do what interests you, and there you will find a woman who shares your interests.
I agree with lawngirl. not every girl is like that. I know a lot of girls who fit into that mould, small_brown. They wear tons of makeup just to look 'natural', they wear Gucci and carry those HIDEOUS Louis Vuitton bags (why??) - but I have to say the guys they go out with have similar values too. A lot of guys don't give a girl attention unless she looks a certain way, so it goes both ways. You're probably looking in the wrong places. Decent girls DO exist. But I think you definitely shouldn't settle for someone - you clearly wont be happy by doing that
Lynsey, sorry for the makeup comment, I just worded that wrong. What I meant was if you NEED to wear TONS of make up all the time to make yourself look "pretty", you have problems. I don't mind make up, but if you say "You wont be caught dead without it" like in a previous post, you need some help.. As for meeting women while doing things I like, most of them are very solitary activities. I rollerblade, run, bike, swim, hike, camp, fish, go to the gym...anything to stay healthy. Women around me seem to be more into hair, make up, clothes, drinking, sex and money. They think getting sweaty while doing sports is "gross & icky." I've had 12 women practically throw themselves at me...but theyre all the same way, vacuous idiots, so I turned them down. I'm hoping to meet some nice women in college...leaving for that in September. Thanks to all for your suggestions.
