my computer screen lights up; a familiar, if slightly hysterical flow of confusion pulses from your end to mine oh, my cousin! you are still alive today but the happy, healthy world cant read your language and my voice cant scale the wall of irrationality that you've erected in terryifying desolation in a room of rotten memories and termites with HER babbling craziness against the banister on the second floor can i help you? would you like a cup of tea to wash down your sad self-destruction? a tall glass of milk to complement the absence of hope and love and simple light? would you like a shovel? I WANT TO DIG YOU OUT! PLEASE BREATHE AGAIN FOR ME! I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE! OR FADE AWAY ALONE. but they wont lend a hand in your excavation "he is lazy. dont we all have goddamn problems? ...just a worthless little fuck" but "NO!" i shout "he needs you! and me! a hug or happy pills and extensive hours of psychotherapy!" or one day...someday soon when you're hosing down the walls of your own imperfections and slaying your pseudo-demons and angels in their horns and red mini-skirts my cousin; your blood will swing from the gallows of his own desperate cries for anyone in the silence of a world that never loved him *i just wrote this half an hour ago, so it might need tweaking. but i can do that later. the helpless feeling was just killing me*
Pretty good, don't change it too much, because the emotion on this is raw and clear. Could use some clean up but probably nothing drastic. Nice work
Agree with all above, I loved the raw emotion and the feeling of release you’ve presented here. The execution was fantastic, I love the way it begins, where it goes, and the end; great job!
