oh, my cousin!

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by browneydgrl, Apr 17, 2005.

  1. browneydgrl

    browneydgrl Member

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    my computer screen lights up;
    a familiar, if slightly hysterical flow
    of confusion pulses from your end to mine

    oh, my cousin!
    you are still alive today
    but the happy, healthy world
    cant read your language
    and my voice cant scale the wall
    of irrationality that you've erected
    in terryifying desolation
    in a room of rotten memories and termites
    with HER babbling craziness
    against the banister on the second floor

    can i help you?
    would you like a cup of tea
    to wash down your sad self-destruction?
    a tall glass of milk
    to complement the absence of
    hope and love and simple light?
    would you like a shovel?
    I WANT TO DIG YOU OUT!
    PLEASE BREATHE AGAIN FOR ME!
    I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE!
    OR FADE AWAY ALONE.

    but they wont lend a hand in your excavation
    "he is lazy. dont we all have goddamn problems? ...just a worthless little fuck"
    but "NO!" i shout
    "he needs you! and me! a hug or happy pills and extensive hours of psychotherapy!"

    or one day...someday soon
    when you're hosing down the walls of your own imperfections
    and slaying your pseudo-demons and angels
    in their horns and red mini-skirts
    my cousin; your blood
    will swing from the gallows
    of his own desperate cries for anyone
    in the silence of a world
    that never loved him



    *i just wrote this half an hour ago, so it might need tweaking. but i can do that later. the helpless feeling was just killing me*
     
  2. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    Pretty good, don't change it too much, because the emotion on this is raw and clear. Could use some clean up but probably nothing drastic. Nice work :)
     
  3. Baby Fire-fly

    Baby Fire-fly Member

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    Thats absolutly beautiful! That really got to me to be honest... I shed a tear...
     
  4. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    Really good piece chickah. Lots of emotion. ty!
     
  5. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    Agree with all above, I loved the raw emotion and the feeling of release you’ve presented here. The execution was fantastic, I love the way it begins, where it goes, and the end; great job!
     

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