Your kids, marijuana, and their own life.

Alright. Just recently i visited my good friend Sara and her family at her house. No i havent ever seen her family but from what she says and how she lives her life, they seem very layed back and open minded. Anyways they said that everything was cool if we smoked marijuana in their house and in their backyard and everything. So were outside in the backyard when her dad and brother come home. Her brothers very stoned and her dads talking to us about taking a tab with with her mom that night. We were all just hanging out smoking and stuff and even the dad hit the pipe. So i realized. This is the life that i wish to live. I mean it sounds kinda dreary and whatever because of the way our society works but this is how i see myself being happy. Good friends, good family, good bud, and good times. I could give a shit less about being successful in the business world. Anyways i had the question about parenting because id like to know if any of you guys raise your children this way. Bceause i wanted to know how its done. I mean in the begining isnt it hard for them to understand and cope. What sort of problems could occur down this path of raising them?

 

Sounds like a good atmosphere to set an example of "responsible use" to me.

Unfortunately, such a situation is very dangerous in AmeriKKKa these days. Parents who condone (or participate in) drug use by minors run the very real risk of having their kids taken away by their state "child welfare" agency, if a nosy neighbor happens to see what goes on, or some other "anonymous tip" gets called in.

According to the law, even giving your kids a sip of beer could be considered "child abuse", so sharing a joint would be out of the question, unless you were absolutely sure that nobody would find out. And this would include the kids themselves "bragging" to their friends about how "cool" their parents are about drugs.

Fucked up, but such is the situation here in DEAland....

 

Bear and I once half seriously considered offering our oldest a few hits, as then she would think pot was NOT cool if her parents liked it! But we thought the better of it. (And being so damn old we don't even know where to get it anymore......maybe from our kids. LOL.)

 

This is an interesting topic and I think about it sometimes. This is what I've decided:

I'm going to try my hardest to hide from my children that I smoke. I'm going to discourage drug and alcohol use, but (after a certain age, 16 or 17) insist that if they want to do it it needs to be at MY home under my supervision. The way I see it is that if they want to smoke or drink, they are going to. Based on my own childhood stupidity, I have NO doubt in my mind that they would be safer under my supervision.

Anyway, once they hit the age of 18 I'll probably stop hiding it from them. At that point if they want to smoke with me, that'd be great.

I started smoking at age 16 and my dad found out I smoked when I was 18. After he found out he told me that he smoked and for the last 5 years we've been smoking together. It's always great to share a buzz with someone you love

 

Maybe it's just me, but I just think it's completely wrong. You're supposed to be a parent first off, not a friend. I know that if my parents ever let my brother smoke in the house, not only would I call the cops on them but I would also go after the dealer (I know all the dealers at my school be they friends or friends of friends, and they all know not to give anything to my brother).

I've known too many people to be arrested, grades to drop, and lose all their friends and money due to drugs. My boyfriend's parents, for example, smoked alot up until he was 8 or so and were too involved in their smoking habits to be parents to him and his little sister. Since they've cleaned up, but that's no way for children to be brought up. Both his and my uncles all have heavily done pot and some have gotten away from it, while others are in poverty because they keep getting kicked out of jobs due to drug testing. Why put your family at risk like that?

Just my opinion, but I'd still be the first of the "nosy neighbors" to call the cops. I can't see pot as anything but negative, if only for health reasons. To me, healthwise it's on par with allowing your child to smoke cigarettes. Not to mention such a huge waste of money that could be going to a college fund or saving up for something special, like backpacking through Europe or a senior trip of some sort.

I know I'm in the minority here, so I don't know why I bother to argue.

 

I agree with you! Parents should be parents.... letting your kids know what's ok with you and where it's alright is fine and dandy. My mom let me have wine with supper when I was 16, but that's a legal substance.

 

The legal issues with marijuana are definitely something to concider when you are a parent. There are valid arguements on why marijuana & drugs should be placed in different catagories, and we'll take this opportunity to say that we have never condoned drug use at the hippiestead, not even alcohol.
We've always been open with our kids & JuJu's 2 eldest were alowed to join in smoking circles once they admitted to use (it was an odd situation, they'd been living with their mom, & were flirting with the law when JuJu regained custody). The family rules in those days were 'no smoking outside of our supervision until you're 18' & 'You don't even know what's gonna happen if we ever catch you smoking & driving & I don't care how old you are!' I know the kids had visions of being made to watch hours of crash scenes and the victims, cuz they know why we're sensitive on that one.
The youngest is a whole other ball of wax; he's seen teens on hard dope and many people who abuse alcohol. This kid was the 'baby brother' of every homeless teen in Austin and they treated him like he was solid gold. He loved/loves every one of his 'adopted' siblings dearly, and every one that he lost to drugs has deeply affected his outlook. Moreover, he's learned the joy of having some of those 'siblings' quit using drugs, even helped some get through 'dope sick' days (it was the sweetest thing, our little guy teaching the teens to play Pokemon so they wouldn't think about the dope, his own idea, such a great parental moment!) I believe this kid, (22 days away from 15), when he says he will never do drugs or smoke pot. He knows his parents smoke and he knows that what he does is always going to be his choice, and we're proud to say that this kid also supports the legalization movements (especially industrial & medical) even if he doesn't intent to become a smoker.

 

marijuana can be a good bonding tool for those parents out there who do smoke weed... but dont like... make it obvious in front of the children... if they discover it on their own and you do it too you should do it together... it'd mean a lot!

 

That is treading some dangerous waters. I certainly wouldn't narc on a seller. People who buy and use are responsible for their own actions. The best this action could get you is

1. Have DCFS take you and your brother away, so you could go live in some foster home, which will in many cases have worse things going on in it that a little pot
2. have a dealer, who deals in more than just pot get to you, not something you want, in any case
3. Both of the above

I can understand not wanting to smoke with your kids, Silver, I certainly don't do that. But a "zero tolerance" attitude is more damaging than an understanding one in this arena. As a parent of 4 kids, I can attest to this. There is nothing (short of murder or sexual assault) that would make me call the police on my own kids. (And when I was a kid, anything short of abuse would never cause me to call on my OWN mama and daddy.)

 

Critical thinking is important to teach as a parent. Unfortunately for the parent when it comes to marijuana, they are up against an institution which does not promote that nor does it promote the truth. This puts a parent in a tough bind when it comes to not only the bs stigma, but as mentioned, the laws. With that said, son smokes pot. He stumbled into it on his own and had no clue about his old man. Did I freak out and send him off to juvie when I found out? HELL NO. We had a weekend of 'higher education' in which we covered the subject thoroughly and honestly until he was quite knowledgeable about it. That included documentaries(no not the dare types), history lessons, various tools, how it grows, the dif betwixt what you smoke and hemp(i.e. why ya can't smoke your hemp necklace), cooking lessons, and just plain old wisdom of experience from an old rogue. Basicly, "If you're gonna smoke pot....." I'm not going to let some third party convince me to lie to my child whether it's about me, or even about some real facts over a plant.

 

Well comming from a family who openly smoked pot since before I could remember. It can be very confusing and hard for a child. I was always taught that "what happens at home stays at home." I knew my parents smoked pot. But then you would go to school, and they have all these programs about anti-drug etc. And they talk about how bad it is, and how children get taken away from there parents because of pot. Well that is VERY scary to hear. Growing up I was always afraid that my parents would get arrested and go to jail, and me and my sisters would be taken away from them.

Also because (IMO) of there very tolerant attitude with drugs, I let myself get involved with some very bad ppl when I was a teenager. And one of my sisters has carried it on, and dose alot of the harder drugs.

Now that I am married and have 2.5 children (one on the way). My views have changed. (somewhat) Now I do not, and will not smoke pot. But I believe that it should become a legal drug. I believe it is not worse than alchohol. But at this time it is an illigeal drug, and smoking it and having it is aginst the law. And I do not want to face the consaquinces (sp) that come along with breaking the law and getting caught.

But once it becomes legal. Well that's a different stoy. Then I don't think there is anything wrong with smoking openly around your children.

 

"Maybe it's just me, but I just think it's completely wrong. You're supposed to be a parent first off, not a friend. I know that if my parents ever let my brother smoke in the house, not only would I call the cops on them but I would also go after the dealer (I know all the dealers at my school be they friends or friends of friends, and they all know not to give anything to my brother). "

The issue is not whether we are gong to be parents or friends, it's whether or not we see pot as bad just because the government tells us to believe it....I personally don't want my child to become a blind follower of our goverment...I would much rather see him smoke weed a little bit than see him start to believe all of the vomit that spews out of our government's mouth...including calling the police on your own parents!!! What kind of person does such a horrible thing? That's straight out of 1984!!!....so saying it's better to give your kids wine rarther than weed just because it's a legal substance sounds like brainwashed bull sh*t. In Holland or Canada or a couple of other places this "legal crap" wouldn't even be an issue...now would it? Just because we live in America all of the weed here is dangerous? Give me a break. I'm not saying I'm gonna have pot parties with my son's friends or anything...I'm just saying you have to understand that not everybody is the government's whore...that doesn't mean they're not good parents...maybe you shouldn't bother to argue...if all you're gonna do is spout judgemental crap all the time

 

woo hoo! well said. seconded. totally. what you and your kids do is your choice and it really pisses me off when the government dictates what you can do in your own home to your own body. id be more worried if my son ended up binge drinking and getting into fights in town that if he was smoking a bit with me. im not going to encourage my son to use weed but i will be honest with him about the fact that i have/do. i would rather he smoked with me if he reallly is going to do it anyway than go to some park with irresponsible friends, smoke to much and pass out and be abandonned cos his friends got scared. im not ignoring the risks, i will make these clear to him, but im not going to scare him or tell him he cant do it as this will so backfire on me. i want to bring my kid up with respect , treat him as an individual, not dictate to him how he must live., sorry , bit of a rant, happy dayz, funky nights peoples.xxxx

 

Not if you're 16 it's not. As I've said many times before on these boards, I work in drug rehab. I see babies that are born addicted to heroin, cocaine, pcp, alcohol, you name it, I've seen it. I would much rather see a heroin baby than an alcohol baby. The damage that is done from alcohol is permanent. It never goes away. The damage done by "most" other drugs will go away if the child receives proper treatment by the time they are five or six years old. Not so with alcohol. The problems never end.

I don't smoke because it's not legal and I don't want to deal with the legal repercussions. But legalize it today and I'll be token' by tomorrow. It is a relatively safe drug to use. The side effects are few. (Other than what comes from smoking anything.) And it can be very relaxing. Aside from the smoking issue. Marijuana is an incredible substance. It's uses are so many. I don't smoke it, but I cook with it, eat foods made from it, moisturize with it, shampoo with it, wash with it, wear it, dress my baby in it. It is cheaper to grow than cotton. Does not need pesticides. Is cleaner for the environment. It's a great plant. It needs to be legalized in this repressive country.

Kathi

 

Don't know what the laws are there, but here a parent can legally give alcohol to their kids. I'm sure there's an age requirement for it, but I forget precisely what it is (16 or less for certain). And it's not as though she drank while she was pregnant with me, so I'm not an 'alcohol baby'.

 

problem is people think that if you smoke or your kids smoke that they are not going to succeed. This isn't true. I think there is such a taboo on pot but that so many people smoke but just don't let others know they do it. Business men, teachers, parents, supermarket owners, schoolkids, whatever..people smoke weed! If you know how to function in societe and be a working part in your own life there is no problem with smoking weed. But making it a problem for you or others means you don't deserve it. If my kids are doing great and have good heads then I probably won't flip out over it. But I won't make it somekind of point to push it in my house. I won't stop my kid in his tracks to smoke him out at 15 or 16...I had friends parents who did this with us at that age and at that point I thought thats what I wanted but I realized that those peoples parents were really not that cool of people in the long run and had much deeper family issues that pot just hid. I don't want to be that kind of parent.

 

check this out:

http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=72909

 

Word, Sister.

I am going to have to check that book out.

We have been open and honest with our kids about drugs and alcohol. Our oldest (19) tried pot, but doesn't really feel the need to do it. The next one (16) feels no need to try it, although she says she "might" some day. Our 14 year old hangs out with kids who really have more interest in Politics, the antiwar movement, and LOTR and Harry Potter than pot, and the baby (5) is just too young. The fact is, we were honest, told the kids we had certainly done it, that it wasn't the worst thing you could do in the world, although getting caught by the police or the schools could cause some bad "side effects" and we are batting 2:1 with kids not wanting to try it and batting 1000 with kids who choose not to smoke it.

 

i ordered the book last week. it'll probably arrive while i'm out of town.


for us, the first discussion of marijuana came up just like any other. my son caught me watching harold & kumar go to white castle, and asked about what they are smoking and why they were acting so stupid. i told him in a nutshell, that it was in a sense like alcohol. since my friend brews mead and we occaisionally have beer & wine around the house, we'd already had the discussion about that. he understood that it was, first of all, something for grown-ups and not kids, and like alcohol, demanded respect, because it could be used responsibly or abused. we live across from a bar, and he understands first of all, that there's a difference between having a glass of wine with dinner and guzzling all the budweiser you can, just to get wasted, that getting drunk is not a smart idea because it makes you loud and stupid obnoxious and irresponsible, and that sometimes some grown-ups do it anyway. i mentioned its illegality, and i didn't know quite how to answer his question about why it was illegal when alcohol isn't, because quite frankly i firmly believe it's safer than booze and that prohibition doesn't work. ever. anyway, i answered his questions, and he just shrugged, left the room and went back to his math program. honestly, i don't think i have to worry about him experimenting young because he is a very present little boy, if you know what i mean, very aware, and simply doesn't want to act that stupid.