Jesus was a Puerto Rican

Through a vast amount or research and biblical reading, I've come to the conclusion that Jesus was in fact a puerto rican. The Bible states very clearly that when Jesus returns he will come like a thief in the night. (Matthew 24:42-43)

 

You sir, are an ass.

 

meh...he was a Jew...not a white. But people fail to see the common sense!
Lol...Puerto Rican..

 

Well there are white Jews and there are Puerto Rican jews, and there are white Puerto Ricans, there are also folks who are ethnically Jewish though I think that there is another name for that. So maybe Jesus was a white jew from Puerto Rico

 

"And when they nail my pimple ass to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus to throw them off
He goes by the name of Hesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh, Hesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pull these goddamn nails out, they're beiggining to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy t-shirt..."
If I Were God by The Bloodhound Gang

 

How I love the Bloodhound Gang, they were great.

 

jesus christ was actually a lizard... a jesus christ lizard... how else could he walk on water?

 

christ is a fairly common greek surname (these days)...

so, maybe a mexican greek with aspirations to godhood?
eh?

 

no.....he was middle-eastern.....not white not balck or even portorecan.I take things to seirosly.Maby he was french since one of his mricles was that he made wine

 

Please listen i was praying last night to God and i realized i was talking to myself so i guess i am God so get on your knees bitches it is I thee Almighty.

 

But are you Puerto Rican?

 

jesus lizards kick ass. i saw a slow motion video of one running across a lake when i was stoned once, it was awesome.

 

Yup, those lizards are pretty cool, now if we could just teach 'em to turn water into wine . . .

 

Jesus isnt french, or else he would have turned the loaves of bread into cheese